Irrevocably Forever - Comments

“It’s too hot for whining.” reminds me of when the air conditioning in my borthers house went out during the sumer (104 average that day) and he told me to quit crying because I'd become dehydrated, and he didn't have any water. >.>

Luke reminds me of my brother. He's only three months younger than me, but he acts like he's 10.

I'm only on chapter two, but I promise I will resume reading this after I get out of the shower. I actually like it. I've always been the new kid on the block, but my neighbors weren't that friendly,ahah. I shall be back for future chapters! :D

I just noticed that I've read this before. Aha, but it was really good and I'm glad that you updated =) You last chapter made me want some Bar-B-Q =/ lol, UPDATE!

I love this story, plain and simple.
Seriously, it's not fantasy/a fanfic/something out of tne norm, it's just, normal.
And I like it for that.

You have very good grammar (and whether that's from spell check or not - kidding) I like that about this story, too.

Your characters are very planned out - so it seems - they don't blurr together.
Which, again, I like. (even more since I have trouble setting lines for my character's personalities)

Um, is that a good enough comment? :)

I really love this.
The little sibling in your stories make me giggle, and I just have to point that out because stories that can make me laugh are my favorites :D
I really like how realistic this all is, and both characters seem different, but fun at the same time.
I didn't see any grammical errors, at least not any important enough to remember.
This is great.
Lovely job :D

Hey, thanks for commenting on my journal. (: The summary really caught my eye, right off the bat. The dialogue between Ana and Luke was very realistically written and you have this way of not overdoing things. You don't try and dress up anything, you just write. I like it. And I also really like Grace's character; she's very interesting. This is a really good story. (:

Dude, Luke sounds like a major brat. Grace and Ana sound cool enough, though. I realy like how you didn't make them super-duper sweet and fakish(sp?). lol This is going in my subslist. Keep writing. <3

So, I didn't have time to read all of this... yet, but I like it so far, so I might just come and read the rest later. (:

Anyway, the layout = amazingly gorgeous. The banner is an A+, the summary is intriguing (sp?), without giving too much away.

The characters felt real - the dialogue was relatable.

“Yeah, yeah, you need to mark your territory,” the girl said, tugging hard on the leash and nearly choking the dog. “But you don’t need to pee on every blade of grass you see. Stupid thing.” She muttered the last part to herself.

This made me laugh. :) Overall, this is amazing. Good job. <3

(Sorry it took me so long to comment...)

I'm only done the first chapter, but so far I'm in love. You have a gift, my dear. Your words paint such a vivid picture, I swear I could feel my own shoulders burning in the sun, even though it's night and I'm sitting in bed. It's so realistic and relatable too. Gahhh, I can't describe how much I love this. I MUST SUBSCRIBE! I can't wait to see what happens!

Also:
“No tinkling on the lawn, Tinkles!” she yelled at the dog.

The dog glanced up at her but then continued trying to pee on the front lawn.

I feel really immature for laughing at that. (:

I really like This :)
Keep going :)

I loved the summary and what her dad told her. The way that Ana and Grace met was awesome, and the dog was really funny.

I love the way you capture their younger siblings, older siblings, and their moms. The fact that Luke is who starts all the chapters, I find how much he annoys his sister really funny. And his beach idea was hilarious!

I really hope to find out the reason why Grace doesn't make plans, because there are several possibilities running through my mind. I'm definitely going to subscribe because I want to see where this goes.

I've only got to read the first and half of the second chapter, but I love it. :) Your writing style is really cool. It's sort of natural. XD

Can't wait to read the rest.

First off love the layout.
I really like this, it's kind of different from what I have read before and I like that.
And when I read the names Will&Grace I will admit I thought of the show XD which I love.
I can't wait to read more :)

I was just thinking about this story yesterday! I’m glad you updated <3

I would’ve been concerned that he’d drowned in the toilet but he was shouting back, so at least I knew that he was, indeed, still alive and kicking.
Haha. That made me laugh, just that image and how she so quickly jumps to that.

Where did you get the sand?” I asked.

“By the pond. There’s a bunch,” Luke said, looking relieved that I wasn’t yelling at him.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That kid is creative, man. I love him.

“ Don’t tell her!” Luke cried out.

He stared at me, his dark brown eyes wide and desperate, pleading with me.
Ugh. I know that look. My sister gives it to me all the time D:

As always, your humor and bluntness are amazing. I love your writings, and this story is just so relatable and real, that it’s definitely one of my all-time favorites already.

I really, really love this so far. The descriptions are gorgeous; you don't overdo them. I also like the hint of bluntness and sarcasm here. Luke and Ana are wonderful characters so far; I really like them together :D

Wonderful job <3

“I’m Emma,” she said proudly. “I have a twin.”

This is SO little kid speak. I honestly loved this. I mean, I didn't feel like I had to read the chapters. I wanted to. This is so good, really. I know I'm being unspecific, but I liked the dialogue the most. Grace is hilarious and I love the dynamic of Ana and Grace's relationship. Just...really good! Wow that does it no justice, but yea, you get that I liked it now.

So this is super awesome. My favorite part would have to be. "...sending the small white dog flying forward..." because I am in love with that image. x)

Brilliant.

*Q* Amazing summary. Ethereal layout. Good way to get my interest.

The length for chapter one looks decent.

Time to read! :D

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Behind me my little brother dragged his feet against the ground, each step an audible scrape against the dirt path we walked on. It ruined the flow when you say against twice, and so close together.

XD "It's too hot for little brothers." That made me grin, ear to ear, dude. I love some comedy.

O_O Hm. Just wanna point out that you call the dog Tinkles and then Sprinkles. Confusing.

OKAY, Grace cleared that up. C: For obvious reasons, got cha'.

And I love how you end this. <3

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This was actually really good. I stumbled upon it before, I think. O_O Pretty sure I commented before, too. (:

It really does sound like something you'd find in a published book, you capture the 'little brother/older sister' relationship beautifully and realistically. The descriptions are thorough and every seemed to flow nicely. You've got a really great thing going here. (:

I really like this, I find it quite interesting. I like Luke and Ana's relationship. It's cute. :)

“Hey, it’s like the show Will and Grace!” I said. “Only your brother and sister, and…” I glanced at Will, suddenly skeptical.

That made me laugh. XD

Also, I really like the layout & banner!

This is really nice. I like how you have more conversations than most. It's just more entertaining.

Your words flow and this is a cute story can't wait to see more. (: