Leap of Faith - Comments

No it wasn't choppy, definitely not. It had just the right number of miniscenes that all seemed quite connected. It does have a dreamy quality as someone mentioned but that's a cool thing.
I can really relate to Lex - namely now as I read this story in bed haha.

I'm not even gonna lie- I had tears in my eyes at the end of this chapter :') I'm such a wuss.
Although, at the start I was seeing flower Max with his pink petals... >< haha!

I'm severely displeased with his conduct!!! And I hate Brielle with the fire of a thousand suns. Why be such a bitch? It's so much effort wasted on just being a reprehensible person, a useless specimen.
Blech >___<

Urm, a couple notes.
In the second paragraph you say Not since that say at the mall, and so I break into a grin. That should be day. It's so cruel how keyboard makers put those letters so close together, that's like my most common typo ever!!! :@

Also, there is some mistake here- I’m hungry; And it’s never given me such relief but I'm not sure whether you meant that to be all one sentence (in which case no capital and ofc and I think a comma might be better then a semi colon in that case) or two separate clauses...?

I love Rafe. He's so obviously the better choice for Charlie (also, she gets called both Charlie and lex, which confuses me! I think Lex is the name of her heart, personally ) although as I said before he is also very much in the friend category of guys, which is a shame.
But of course he wants more! :D

Thank you for another wonderful chapter :)

Of course he wants more ;)
Mack seemed like the better brother for like a day. Rafe is like a Luke (from Gilmore Girls) ... Maybe. He's pretty mysterious still.
And I'm really glad for this update, so yes thank you for staying up to write it.

Suuuure it was an accident - I think there's some Star Wars-like out of orderness going on here :D
Even with all the trickery I like this chapter. Boy is she surrounded by a lot of animals!

I quite like Rafe. He's awkward, and cute. But clearly he is one of the guys who remains forever 'the friend', poor chick.
Lovely story :)

I dont like Mack's Girlfriend, but she is his girlfriend... Poor Raf, he's all left out.

how does this story have only two stars? it's too good to go unread.

wow, there's a lot of emotions swirling around in that house. or outside it.
why do i feel like Brie kidnapped the puppy and kitty? aghhh. she might be that evil. :D

Mack is so cute >_<

Will she ever brighten up? :D I enjoyed the read and I'm looking forward to more. Gah! I miss kittens!

Your story has a dreamy quality

There is just something about your writing I like very much. And this may sound odd, but it... reminds me of a screenplay, almost. I am not exactly sure why, perhaps it's the realism of it? Or I am just a freak. Either way, I am incredibly interested in seeing where you will take the plot. Update frequently, yes?

I'm disappointed with your lack of comments! :O
I'm a new reader :P. I really like your story, it's kinda has a light enchantment to it.
Anywho, I found a couple of booboos I'd like to point out if you don't mind ^_^
In chapter 1 i found this:
You called Frenchie a he once, when Lex was putting her down
Chap 2:
"... sugar when ME made a face." should be he, not me lol
Chap 3:
"You're right," I told Frenchie. I should definitely feed you." You missed a quotation there.
"....gazed out at the counter, WERE cream cheese and..." wrong were, it's where
Chap 4:
'...Mike, whom I sat on when I'd gotten up.' sat on when getting out of bed? did you mean step on? O.o

Anywho, I spazzed out for 2 reasons with your story: 1 was that ther is guy named Mack. I have a thing for a guy named Mack lol
2. My name is April XD. There is a horse with my name lmao. Mack rides April... which sounded dirty to me XD.
Keep up the good work :D

Stealing your comment virginity i like this story so far pls update soon