Even though the layout is under construction, I think it's really cute :] That, and I know the girl that you used for reference to your character and by god is she gorgeous, haha :]
I like how you kept the first chapter all about Jessica rather than rushing to introduce out love interest, because that gives the story a deeper connection with the main character.
Your writing is also nicely developed, so I applaud you for that :D
Honestly speaking, I've never read A7x fanfic before, so I've no idea who is who, lol! I only read your first two chapters, so my comment will be based on that.
First of all, I love your layout! I can never make such pretty layout (I'm a comp idiot...) and banners for that matter. So kudos on that.
Secondly, the way you introduce your main characters and their family background is good. I've always detested drunk, alcoholic parents (especially those who beat the crap out of their offspring) and I can feel Matt's frustration and hate towards his mother. And Jessica's mom irritate the shit out of me. Urgh.
Oh man, this comment is way overdue. I apologize for that! But I figured that since I'm sick and I now have plenty of time to read, I'd do it now. :D
First off, I really, really like this layout. :D Anyway, I think your story is really great! And that's saying something considering I never read A7X fanfiction. You've proved to me that it can actually be pretty good! I really like your writing style. It's neat and very easy to follow along with. I really like how realistic your characters are! And you've brought back memories of years ago when I used to have a crush on Matt. :D Anyway, I think your story is really great, and even though I haven't gotten the chance to read it all yet (I'm only about halfway through) I'll be subscribing so I can keep reading. And reccing, because it's really great. :D
Hi i'm a comment swapper, i have only read the first two chapters and i really like your story. Youre an incredible writer with great attention to deail which makes it possible for you to pictures whats going on. Jason seems like a bit of a dick but im sure it will all work out in the end :)
Wow. This story is wonderful. I love all of the little details that you add. You're very descriptive, which gives the reader a great mental image to abide by. Your characters are very well developed and your writing style is intriguing.
Hiya! The comment swap feature pushed me in this direction around 2 hours ago... Literally just finished reading all 34 chapters! Aside from the obvious fact that your writing is incredible and you describe your characters and their emotions very well, I also really love your layout! Everything about this story is really well thought out! Keep it up! Xx
plus, the layout is really pretty. Your banner is AWESOME by the way. How do you make it like that?
I especially liked how cute Matt is right after the car accident. It's adorable how he can't get her out of his head and his heartbeat speeds up when they look at each other <3 Same with Jessica. They’re so adorable <3
And ohmygosh. Can I just punch Jessica’s mom? She’s severely annoying me and needs to have a little sense put into her. I knew that Jason would cheat on her with Isabel! Oh well, now she get with Matt ;)
Comment swap brought me here, I'm glad it did. I don't normally read A7X fics but its nice to be introduced to something difference. I really like this, you're a talented writer, its easy to follow and understand but its not boring and I like that there are a lot of original elements, you don't make your female character completely superficial and fake like a lot of fics. Overall I like it, good job.
I like the summary although, you do know that you're not allowed to use avatars in summaries. It's against the rules as we have character profile pages but, yeah.
The first chapter is brilliant. She's not the perfect girls that you come across in Avenged Sevenfold fan fictions yet she's not boring.
You use the perfect amount of description and dialogue to get the reader hooked within the first few paragraphs. And already, she's such a brilliant character. You've introduced her REALLY well!
i love a7x fanfics. i love comment swap. i like how it's not like she's a beauty queen, which is what i initially thought when i saw she was taking pictures. this man seems pretty creepy, i don't like him, and wow ir eally don't like him. i'm confused about why her paents are so weird, but i'm curious as to why. is it one of those marriages where the parents only got together because they have a kid? what's the deal, basically. also, saying matt is taking pursuit back to his far is sort of weird; the walk, the path, pursuit would mean he was chasing something. i like how they're both sort of fucked up though, that's nice. usually it's just one of them, not both.
Unexpectedly intruiging beginning... I actually wanted to know what happened between Jessica and her father and really, really wanted Matt to run away from his mother. The telling of the background information was pretty perfect leading into the fight effortlessly, and I absoutely loved that. Honestly, I think I'm going to finish reading this tomorrow. I'm really THAT intruiged! You have a talent, my friend :)
The one technical critique I want to make is the switching of tenses. You combine past with present several times, and it gets a little annoying simply because it isn't proper and doesn't match to make sense, haha. But that's the only thing I want to comment on :)