Cherry Bomb - Comments

You write so passionately and delicately, I love it! It's a very raw story and I really like how you stay consistent with that. It's the type of story I can see being made into one of those low budget films. The ones that are always underrated but are the best damn things you've ever seen.

I gather it's been a while since you've written since in the last chapter your author's note said you were just starting your Summer. I hope you write another chapter soon as I am extremely curious to see where his likeness for Bambi goes.

You can tell Lukas has so many inner demons tormenting him and so many internal struggles, even without you stating them obviously. He's clearly going through some sort of major character development and growth, at least to me, it seems that way.

Luka is honestly my favourite name in this entire world, but taking out that bias entirely, I really do think you're a fantastic writer. I can't explain it, but I'm envious of your skills. I write more for the pleasure of it and the emotion than I do for the technique, but you seem to have both. So where my stories lack a great deal, yours do not at all. I admire your skill and I hope to read more of this in the future!

I am very impressed with this story. I do not usually care for romantic fiction, but this is so well written and thoughtful that I couldn't resist. I appreciate that the plot is so adult without being tasteless. Too many Mibba users write childish plots or go overboard with the romance, but I think you strike a delicate balance which can be hard to do. The only thing that I can say in terms of constructive criticism is that the story seems to be moving a little fast. I would like to see more of Lukas's interactions with his friends and co-workers, maybe a little more friendly dialogue to balance out the romance dialogue but that's about it.

I am in love with this story!! Is there any chance that you'll pick it up again? You're writing is so vivid and detailed, your characters are amazingly developed! And I know everyone's mentioned this but the layout is perfect for the story! =) Best discovery on comment swap yet!

From the comment swap.
I just simply love your writing. The way you set the scene is simply amazing, and your characterization is very believable. I don't like to talk about layouts when I'm commenting, but yours fits the story very well, and that's always an extra added plus. I think that my favorite thing about this piece is of how mature it is. So many stories on mibba are just so childish in writing and plot, but this isn't anything like that, and wow, you've won me over.
Great job!

My mind went straight to the song when I read the title, it was a helpful image and not so helpful at the same time lol. The layout is very rad, haha. SO MUCH RED! It's elegant ;) The summary isn't a overload and what I saw, there wasn't any errors, and it was quite intriguing. The name Lukas is unique, which is a plus! I liked how you left "us" readers hanging at the end of the chapters. I didn't get to read all of it yet, but from the title I'm just wondering what happened to Day Three? ANYwho, good job on it all!

You're writing is very good. I love the layout of your story, I think it suits it quite well. I really loved your summary, it drew me in right away. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes. You're characters seem interesting enough, and they fit the story well. Keep up the good work!

Hi, I'm here from comment swap, and I must say I'm really glad I got your story.

The first thing that caught my attention was the title. Admittedly it reminded me of the song. Haha. But after reading your story I can see that it really fits. The second thing that caught my attention was the great layout and story banner. Nice looking layouts and story banners are a plus for me. Plus, I just really like the color red. Haha.

Now onto the actual story: I have to say, I really like your writing style. I like how the story goes through every individual day and night that Lukas knows Rosalie. I thought that was a very nice artistic choice. I also really like all of your characters. They feel very real. I'm really interested to see what happens next. I'll definitely subscribe and recommend.

This story is very well written and instantly drew me in. I honestly can NOT wait until you update again. I hope that you keep up the good writing, and I love the cover, it fits your story very well. Also, your summery is better written than my stories summaries so I am very jealous over that, I also might check out some other stories you've done...if you have any, I haven't looked yet. Again, very good story and can't wait for the next update.

Just to start out, I love love love the layout and the summary. The layout matches your header really well which really draws in my attention, and your summary. Your summary about Rosalie had me curious to know why your main character had such an interest in getting to know her. She seemed like a great girl by the way you described her in the story, and your character seemed smitten with her. I have a friend just like Noel lol. Loved it keep it up(:

I like how your writing style is consistent. I found it really strange though how the MC was entranced by a girl who he didn't remember hanging out with. Only pictures left. They didn't even talk...I find that kind of sad. Why are they giving themselves up to strangers so easily. What if he or she was a kidnapper!? :O
And how come he's calling himself a lovestruck loser. Being in love makes someone better, not a loser! Bad morals man, figure yourself out (for some reason your commenter is yelling at your main character...just ignore her, I'm sure she'll stop eventually) And what's with the constant coffee and cigarettes dude? Must you always be high on something ?!

Uh...this is kind of sleezy of you Lukas...you don't even have a conversation or meet her family or friends or anything and you already are going so far!

Sigh...sorry I have to be honest, I think this story is not appropriate for a 13 year old. If my 13 year old family members read this I would be horrified.

You are a really talented writer...just the topic and the descriptions become very mature, and I'll have to stop at the beginning of Ch.4, I don't want to read anything dirtier than what was at the beginning. *begins washing out eyes*

Anyways...take care.

I don't usually comment on what people write, but I've just got to say that this is marvelous. I can't wait to read more of this story.

So, I must say, that I was sent here by Comment Swap, and when that happens I don't always read the whole story, because truth be told, I just want my comment. But, this....was amazing. I am so sucked in now. Your imagery is amazing and I love your word choice. Totally subscribing, and I can't wait for another update.

I read all the chapters you have so far... This story is really good. I haven't read one like this before, so great job. I do see small mistakes like spelling here and there, but they can easily be fixed by a quick proof read. I like Rosalie's character of how she's free and wild. Your imagery is good as well! So really good job!

this is amazing. i love the layout. your writing style is wonderful. you do very well with the narration and rosalie is such an intriguing character. this story is quite original. i love the plot so far. keep it up!

Hi! Well first of all, I must really say I love your layout. It’s simple yet inviting, with a hint of naughtiness to it HAHA. I very much enjoyed the plot of this story. I have never read a story with such an intriguing plot and the originality factor is off the charts. I also loved your writing style. Your words flow very easily and you are careful to put emotion behind them. There are a few grammar/spelling mistakes though, but it’s no biggie and it doesn’t take away from this story. I can’t wait to find out what happens next with Lukas and Rosalie and with that, I’m definitely subscribing. Keep up the good work (:

I really like the subtle hints of humor and how he is immature and still acts like a horny teenaged boy. It is very amusing.

I also love how Rosalie comes into the story. It's cute, her little pick-up line that is. Although, I admit that I don't find Rosalie to be a wild name, so I wasn't quite sure why Lucas claimed it as wild.

The ending was nice and simple. Definitely good enough to make me want to read the next chapter, which I will do after I go to a party of my own xD I am subbing, no doubt.

Hey! Got this through CS and it's amazing!
I love your layout, simple and sexy =P
I like the mystery that surrounds Rosalie, that you didn't show her face and that she doesn't have a surname
I like the main character, even though I normally hate guys like that. Ps the pic you used for him is so cute, mind giving me the actor's name? =P
Anyway I like the story line and the way the chapters are going, so I'll stay tuned
Update soon!<3

ooo this is good, i really like it. i love this whole idea, it's very john green-esque, and i like that.

i'm only a couple of chapters in, but i'm really eating it up so far! i can't wait to finish it. the characters are good and the writing flows really nicely, you've done a good job. <3

I was going to say something about the misspellings, but you covered that in your Author's Note. xD Anyway:

Your style seems fitting for this kind of writing. You're not afraid to write what needs written, even if it's a nasty word or two.

I like your characters; they're easy for me to comprehend.

I can't help but wonder how small this town is. xD I live in a dinky-ass time, but I rarely see people every day. Either she's being creepy, or this town is so small, you can see the same person every day. That's one of the things that distracted me about this piece.

All-in-all, it's really well-written, and aside from the spelling, I see no mistakes. (: Keep up the good work!

First of all, I LOVE THE LAYOUT! I think you did a very nice job with it. Character development seems good and your writing is lovely. I didn't spot any grammar mistakes which I appreciate. And you should keep up the good work!

Kristen :)