Summer Skies and Ocean Eyes - Comments

Wow, I remember this from Quizilla! But it's been a while so my mind's a little fuzzy about this story. I'll be reading this revised version too, then. :)

xxMusiqueEstMaVie: Thank you so much for the meaningful feedback! And you're exactly right about that being the scene I was fuddling through. I've tried to go back and re-write it, and I actually think that at this point, it would be smart for me to start blank with that scene, re-writing dialogue and action while keeping the setting. But I love your idea about Poot sending Calico to the car, and I'm about to go work on it again trying that out. Thank you, again!

ellomellowify: Ha, I really appreciate it that you went through all the trouble of creating an account to read SS&OE. I'm glad that you feel Calico has evolved since the first draft, because that definitely means I'm doing something right. I hope that my writing has since gotten better, two drafts later: so that must mean my characters have rounded out a bit. And ha, I couldn't get rid of it: too many people defined that as the moment they really started liking Tommy. I think it makes him almost approachable. Thank you so much for reading and the nice feedback!

And of course, thank you to everyone else who also commented: EuphoricDreams and quelqu'un m'a dit (byy the way, I got really excited when I knew what your username was, I lurve French)--Love you guys.

:) made this account just so I could read this.
I completely adore the ways you edited it, absolutely perfect.
Calico seems more tough, and less sort of helpless and easy to fool--maybe that's just me?--and if possible, I like her so much more because of it!
In the first version I loved her as a character, but just never really had much confidence in her.. she was almost TOO sweet, and I just always felt bad for her. It's as if she's the same girl as the first version, but she just says and acts it out different, ya know? But you balanced it totally perfectly this time.

By the way, I was so glad you didn't edit much out of the beach scene where Tommy's finally admits he likes someone to sit with. :) I totally fell in love with him in that scene, haha, he's just too cute.

Well, you're pretty much amazing! :D Loving where the story is heading, and excited to see how it all closes..for the second time haha. Keep it up!

I liked chapter 7, so I'm going to guess that the part you struggled with was when Poot and Tommy were fighting in front of Calico, because that section, if any, was the one that seemed most of out of character to me, and it seemed to change the least from the original version on Mibba, so maybe you had a hard time editing it to make it seem more real. At least that's what I thought when I was reading it and after I read the author's note. Anyway, assuming that is the part you don't like, I think that maybe Calico should be in Poot's car while he's talking to Tommy because

1) I think it seems a little out of character for Poot to get so mad that he forgets that Calico is there, and I don't think he's the type that would want to involve her in what's going on with Tommy and his dad,

2) If Calico gets in the car before Tommy gets there, or Poot tells her to get in the car once Tommy gets there, then she can still hear what they're saying, but she's sort of distanced from the situation, and it makes it look like Poot made some sort of effort into making the conversation between Tommy and him more private. I get why you included it, because Cal needs to find out about Tommy's family at some point, so that's just an idea on how to make it flow a little better. Sorry that this comment is so long!

Ommgsh. i remember readin this on quizilla quite a while ago.
it seems different for some reason but i like it anyways :)
update soon?

I read this on Quizilla!!! It was the one story on that site that wasn't horrible. I read it like 6 times...and I think I'll read it again.

Thank you raynefire, I hope the quality has gotten better. :) Even though, to tell you the truth, I haven't been putting much thought into it. Those parts sound awkward now so I change them without lingering much on why.

And thank you midsummer rhapsody, I really appreciate it. Ha, I guess a main aim for writing is to have it not be crappy or redundant. XD By the way, I looove your profile.

This is beautiful. The story isn't something crappy or redundant. I love the quality of the narration; it's not sappy or melodramatic, yet it portrays real emotions.

Looking forward to the next update.

I agree, the quality of the writing is much better. Now we know a lot more of Calico's background. Also, another thing I noticed while rereading this on Quizilla is that you used to put the adverb before the verb all the time. And it bugged me. :P I haven't noticed it here, so I assume you've switched up your sentence structures more.

I JUST realized that I can comment on my own story. Yeah. I know, I'm challenged when it comes to Mibba. I wish I would have discovered (Hey, for me it was a discovery, even though it may have been blatantly obvious to the rest of you) this sooner so that I could have just replied to each individual comment on here.

So now I'd like to throw out a HUGE-mongous THANK YOU to everyone (points to comments above) who has been reading and commenting, it really means a lot to me. I promise that now I have solved another one of Mibba's many mysteries, I'll be much better at replying to comments.

Love.

(Thank you again and again)

Maggie

I read this on Quizilla and loved it! I have to say, this new version is a lot better! I like that Calico actually has a relationship with her father now. You didn't change a ton so far, but I think that jsut the quality of the writing itself is better. Can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the great work :)

I love this story. It's already my favorite. :) Update again soon! :D

I'm lovin this edited version but I can't wait to get to re- fall in love with Tommy again :)

AAAAAAAH I freakin' love this story, Read it on quizilla and love that I'll be reading it again here. A lot of love is being felt right now :] xox

AAAAAAAH I freakin' love this story, Read it on quizilla and love that I'll be reading it again here. A lot of love is being felt right now :] xox

I loved this story on Quizilla. I can honestly say that this is one of my favorite stories on the internet, and you've just been making it better. Can't wait until the next update! :)

oh my goodness!i remember when i read this on quizilla!!wow!I absolutely loved it!i stayed up so late reading chapter after chapter!haha you are an amazing writer.

How did you get the idea for it to be in Naples? Naples is a tiny town ( I live pretty close to there). But this is a really great story. :) good work, update soon!

Amazing! Can't wait to see more of Tommy! And I really love how the chapters are so long :)

*peice not price, sorry
Predicive spelling can be such a pain!