Neighbor Kids - Comments

First of, the layout is really simple, not sure I really cared for your choice of font. The ending was fantastic, really a shocker to say the least. I noticed that you used the wrong "they're" "their" "there" consistantly, I suggest you really read over it before you post something. Also, you kept spelling "wiping" as "whipping". They are all easy fixes and I applaud you on the plot and character development. Great job!

Mmm, this is quite unique and I like it; it's written so...nicely, so touching-ly, and then you hit the ending and it's almost a like a blow; it shocks you, and I liked that.
I think you've created a realistic world and realistic characters here, which is excellent for a story like this.
And I like how Jessica's not just fighting the zombies to fight the zombies, she's fighting them to save children because she knows what it feels like to be alone before the zombies.
The layout's...interesting. The summary is a bit long for my taste, to be honest, and it seemed to have maybe a little bit too much going on.
Overall, though, I think you did a great job on this story!

This is such a poignant piece of writing. The ending really hit me hard. It had such a morbid beauty to it. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I think splitting the story into two parts was an excellent decision. In the first part, you were able to create the world and the characters, while in the second, you were able to pack the real punch. I was impressed by how realistic the situation was. The fact the Jessica and the kids were fighting with garden tools emphasizes the fact that they were all just ordinary people. No experience with fighting or weapons before the zombies came. I was also really impressed by your knowledge about zombies in general. It definitely showed within the story and made it much more believable. I loved Jessica's character. She seemed so real and human. The fact that she was ruthless, in her attempt to keep the kids alive. But also so loving towards them. Beautiful, well done.

I'm not usually one to read a Zombie story but this just pulled me in XD I liked the little twist at the end and how the one who bit her ended up being the one she had told to bite her. Very cool (:

You had some spelling and grammar issues but not too too many. Also, I liked the layout of the story. It was easy to read though the words were a bit tiny.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this!! :D

Layout Creativity and Readability ~ 15/15
- The layout was big, and easy to read! :) Also it was simple and fit the story!

Grammar&&Spelling ~ 9/10
-There were a few spelling errors and grammatical errors but it didn't take away too much from the story.

Effort ~ 10/10
-I believe that a lot of effort went into this. Good Job! :)

Detail&&Storyline ~ 10/10
-This story was very well written. It was very amusing to read and fun.

How Well You Follow The Rules ~ 10/10

Thank you for entering into my contest. I will message you when I have decided. :) Once again thank you for entering this I enjoyed reading it. :)

I loved this. It was well written and very fun to read. Thanks for entering

I have to say love; I loved the story from the start. The plot and your final twist really dragged my attention in and kept it and I find myself wondering how bad Jess must feel on the inside. Does she feel as if she failed them even though she did all she could for them?