Booze, Bongs and Boobs. - Comments

Well, I imagined her to have that face.
She will go through physical changes in the story,
her hair as of chapter 2 is still a dirty blonde.

You can imagine her anyway you want, but that is how
I imagined the characters.

This is epic. But, is the girl with the blonde hair on the banner supposed to be Serenity? Or the girl with the light brown hair? I'd rather it be the latter, since scene female main characters seem kinda overused now.

But, yeah. It's awesome so far. Can't wait for more ^-^.

No. Way.

I think this was the first story I read on Mibba. *__*

I really like this, I'm definitely subscribing.

xx

Thanks for suggesting this story to me, in my journal.
Its really great, cant wait for the next chapter to be posted :D

luv da story its realy gd:P

i'm really loving this! its such a cool concept and one that every girl fantisizes about, eh?
this sentence "Way too much thinking, I looked back out the window still looking at cows." was a highlight for me. cows are just amusing!
just watch out with your grammar, m'love. sometimes you slip into the wrong tense, and the sentence about the cows should have been something like: "Deciding I was thinking way too much, I looked back out the window and continued to look at cows."
just a bit of constructive criticism.
anyway, brilliant job dollface, cant wait for an update!
xx

heyy update soon please!!

*subscribe*

haha awesome! (:

That is awesome! :)
Poor Serenity.

Love it, you need to post another chapter very soon darling, (:

Can't wat for you to rewrite the rest(:

well i defo like this version better to the other wun you had which i read like 3 days ago lol ;D
keep it up ! x

Nice! :)

Well Home Ec. will be interesting.
Any updates soon? :]

Ahh, I recently came back to this site and am happy to see this was updated :-)
Keep it up!

I really enjoy this story. You can really explain things in little words. I found some grammer slip ups, espically with the italics in chapter four. You may also want to spell chapter right for chapter 10 x) Besides that, everything was perfect! Your characters are well drawn out, but I often forget James. I'm not exactly sure why. Anyway, you have a new subcriber, enjoy and keep writing!

I do so love the way you write.
There is less communication through words, and a lot of thought process going on which is different from most anything I have read.
It seems your other readers adore it, too. Keep up the good work, I look forward to the next chapter :)

im only up to chapter 3 but i love it! please keep updating

REVIEW:
I shall cover chapters 1-2 :)

In chapter one, I found a sentence that is repetitive, "Looking out the window all I saw was fields that were the unusual shade of green of bright green."

An awkward sentence, also in chapter 1, "So, what this the whole point of going to a boarding school?"

Maybe you should rephrase this sentence in chapter 1, "Rochester I was being to notice was in the middle of Florida..."

In chapter 1, in the mother's conversation on the phone, the sentence becomes awkward here, "“I don’t understand who has food poisoning? From what? You are on the fans expecting you.”

You should rephrase this sentence, "The sunny sky was being to be clouded by dark purple clouds."

You're missing a period here, "The school looked like an old Victorian building, with vines growing up the walls We drove around to the circle drive way."

In chapter 2 I think you used the wrong word in, "The giant okay trees offered shade from the sun."

Maybe using a different tense for, "As the gate was open there was not a fountain or anything remotely fancy in the center of the courtyard just an old oak tree."

"Lunch is proved up at the school." maybe you meant provided?

Alright, I definitely like the idea of this story. You have good imagery and Serenity's sense of humor definitely makes this story easier to read. The only suggestion I have is to maybe read it over once or use Word before posting it online.

The story idea is good, but there are quite a few grammar mistakes. Fix them and it will get even better :)