Moonrakers - Comments

Firstly, I loved your layout, easy on the eye and it goes well with the story. Your descriptions are incredible, as i've said to many writers before it seems like they lack in the detail department, but you really capture well all aspects of the characters surroundings. I think this will make a wonderful story =), keep writing!

This was honestly a perfect first chapter although it didn't leave me with a need to read more. Sorry if that sounds mean, what I'm trying to say is it felt more like a one-shot about a cop having to deal with a bratty kid. I liked it though, your descriptions were superb and you are officially the grammar queen! No matter how lame that sounds. I like how this went, how the characters were described. It felt like I was watching a movie rather than reading a story.

Wow... this is amazing... I love the tone and voice of this story. I feel like that story is a character in and of itself if that even makes sense... Also I love your characters so far well you've only showed us one but in the short amount he's been in the chapter and the little he's said you've already showed us so much. You've formed your characters well already and you can tell how well thought out they are. Enough with that though... Your discription and wording is amazing and it really draws the reader in and allows them to see the events unfold before them, this was amazing and you did a great job.

I really love the story so far. I liked that Abby was wearing a penguin costume...i jus really like penguins. =) I think that so far it sounds really interesting. I like Damien so far as well. You did a great job describing not only the setting, but the characters as well. It made me laugh when Damien mentioned that he'd asked Noelle out before, and she'd refused, but he's so sure that this time will be different. =) update soon!! i'm subscribing!

; pale gold at nightfall in response to the streetlights either side of it – should there be the word on between streetlights and either?

Hm; it’s okay. I like the ‘romantic’ concept of gate crashing a party though. (: The descriptions were amazing, and I liked it fairly well.

You are a really fantastic writer. I found it so easy to just sit here and read through that whole, pleasantly long chapter without taking a break to check other things. As restless as I am, that's very different. x)
This story just flowed so well and with so much ease that it's completely impossible to resist loving it. It's beautifully written and I can't wait to read more. :) I love Damian. <3

This banner is absolutely amazing! I mean it's absolutely gorgeous!

The way you describe the market, it sounds really pretty as well as important. Aw, I hope the market doesn't get ruined because of the rain. I like the officer, he seems like a fun character :). Wow, if he got wet that fast, the rain really must've been pouring. She's in a penguin costume,, why? Aww poor guy, not only does he get in trouble, he doesn't want to get bad with Noelle. He was tired so he let them go haha ,nice.

This is a very cute story! I really like it, it gave a little bit about PC Morton, which I liked. Plus, it's beautifully written, great job!

You did a lovely job. I appreciate the recommendation.

Definitely a great start to a story :)
I found myself really engaged with what was going on, and wondering what will happen next. Love all the adjectives you use - makes everything all the more realistic.
Also, thanks for defining all the British slang; I found it quite useful haha.
I'm subscribing!
And, thanks for your comment on my story, Letters to Marie :)

Thanks for the definitions. I was pretty confused whilst reading. xD

I really like the idea and the style it's written in. Honestly up-beat, fluent, and readable. I adore the banner, it's really great. :)

This is absolutely amazing.
Makes my writing look like major crap!
Can't wait for you to update again.
I subscribed.
:)))

The first thing I thought when I finished this was "holy sh*t." This was seriously amazing. I loved the detail you put into it and I love the depth of the characters. Damian made me laugh more than once and I felt like PC Morton was someone I could go outside and meet on the streets. All the characters were wonderful and easy to picture being real. Oh jeez, you did such a good job with this I can't even explain it.

So I went back to the story and I noticed I did read it but my comment didn't submit so I'll just start over:

The detail was great and I love how you didnt' just rush it. Shows how patient and a great writer you are.

The characters show what kind of person they are within the very first chapter but still left a mystery to it and made me think of questions like "Why doesn't it say much more about Abby?" "What will they do next?" "Where will they go?" etc.

Normally I wouldn't have spent the time to read something this long but after the first three paragraphs I was hooked with the amazing detail!

<3

Your banner is amazing and it goes so well with your layout. The summary was short but sweet. It really stroked my interest.

You have such interesting characters that is makes this story a million times more fun to read. Your description ix vivid and I love the way you make everything so...real. You are very good with dialogue also, and it is such a treat because most people are not (including myself!)

At first, I was quite reluctant to read a story about teenagers (mainly because of the lack of creativity I've seen invested in those that roam around in mibba); however, I was proved completely wrong once I started reading.

Everything was so easy to picture due to your detailed, yet not overwhelming, descriptions. I could actually smell the rain and feel the drizzle splashing my face.

Your characters, PC Morton in particular, are rather amusing to read about; how you structured the narration style to give this air of a mystery novel combined with a teen novel was amazing. The dialogue flowed naturally and completely realistic and it was actually enjoyable to read about Damian and his strategy to capture his fair lady's heart (Doctor Who ftw!).

I really liked reading this; it was entertaining, had very vivid descriptions, and enjoyable characters.

I love the banner! And the background layout is so pretty. x3 Looks like a greenish-bluish-grayish color.

To be completely honest, I quite dislike long stories and I tend to just skim through it, but this was a whole new exception. It's as though I'm hearing the words being spoken, flowing so fluently and tranquil and...the mood is relaxing. I can visualize the rain and the whole scenery. Extremely, extremely good. The description was spot on, not too much and just right.

Abby makes me laugh, especially picturing her in a penguin costume. xD Honestly, I read through it all, even with if it was long, I did it. Considering I'm so lazy, you did a good job at capturing my attention. I love this story so far and I'm definitely subbing.

to love hopelessly, is to live a little audaciously. Oh, I loved that part, I think I've heard it somewhere else but I can't recall exactly where. x3

Amazing job, really. Keep up the amazing work!

For the comment swap :)

I really enjoyed reading this, it was extremely descriptive, which i like. I think you're a very unique writer, which is great.
A lot of stories seem to have the same plot line, the same character personalities, but this was completely different, which is an extreme plus.

The way you described the scene at the start of the chapter was brilliant, very captivating.

I cannot wait to read more on this, i'm excited to see where you take it.

I love the start! It's such a great way of developing your characters, and I feel that they all spoke in the way they would. Although at some points Damian and the PC seemed to be a bit too friendly.
I love how you started the story especially, the way you described the scene before focusing on each of the character's individually. That's just brilliant writing there!
I love how you added the costume as Doctor Who, that made me smile so much! Oh British lingo, I always think everyone speaks like that, but then it's only us Brits! :D
lovely job, I can't wait to read more. :)

I agree with Goaty. This was wonderful. Your description is very powerful and makes me see everything as if I were actually there. I adore stories such as this and I cannot wait for an update. Damien is a phenomenal character that I can tell you've took time to create. I adore him already. I also like how you translated for us non-Brits. <3 Overall, this was just wonderful.

Okay. I am about to tell you something, and I hope it's exciting for both of us.

I am going to subscribe to this, and check back to see when it's updated.I haven't done that in months. I haven't found anything really quite so interesting in months.

Oh, my gosh. This was just... I can hardly even come up with words for how much I really liked this. Were I to go into a book store and find a book by a well-known author whom I was fond of, I think I couldn't like it as much as I like this.

The beginning was captivating. The way you described the market place and then slid easily into this man's thoughts. The description of the characters was classic and perfect. The dialogue between them was so beautiful and creative.

Just... I mean, man, it was all good!