Conspiracy - Comments

I am surprised this has not been updated, simply due to how many comments this got for just the prologue. IT seems like a really good idea and I would encourage you to expand upon it, since I normally leave pretty detailed comment only stories with at least 2-3 chapters so I can see recurring mistakes I can;t really give you a review. But I did enjoy what I did read and I hope you continue on.

So, uh, you're an amazing writer. First of all, your lovely layout puts me at piece right away. Second of all, that was the most beautiful prologue I have ever read. Good lord. You're just so descriptive. I can picture everything so clearly.

I was originally here just to comment from that forum thread about liking older punk/rock bands, but I ended up reading it :P Gah, you're a great writer. End of story.

On a random note, I found the title almost humourous, because my father and I were had just been speaking of conspiracy theories and all that xD Anyway:

The prologue was very well done, with much detail included that painted the picture nearly perfectly in my mind. I found it odd though, how the layout itself gave off a cheery mood while, from reading the prologue and summary, the story itself is quite the opposite. I would also like to point out how I liked that the story takes place in the future, but not too far into it.

A great start, no doubt. Can't wait to see where you go with this :) Great job

Wow.

The scarf she had worn around her neck being permitted to fly freely behind her back; the thick fog quickly swallowing the sharp spell of red it had blazed so flamboyantly.

It seems that sometimes you put almost too much detail into something. I mean, there are times when a lot of detail is really good, but too much can ruin it and just make it less... enjoyable. It's just a bit too much.

But, other than that, I really enjoyed it. I want to read more, actually. XD

The layout was simplistically beautiful <33 Though I have to admit, orange isn't my favorite color I still loved it :)
The opening sentence won my heart over <3
The details and description you put into this was amazing :)
Grr I wish I could give you a longer comment but that wouldn't describe your awesomeness <33
You're an amazing writer <33
Great job! :)

I can't wait to see where this goes. This is definitely an original story, and I can tell because I haven't seen anything like this before yet.

I'm excited, in short.

The summary pulled me in from the very beginning. It's a lovely summary, yes indeed. The layout is also lovely, very beautiful and simple. The story itself is very descriptive, but not too so that the information is being forced down my throat. For a prologue, you have some serious potential and I can't wait to see where this goes. Good job. <3

I like how you began the story with description about the main character, and the setting. All of the description was wonderful. Then, after the first three paragraphs, it tells a little bit about the background on the government while still relating to the rest of the chapter.

The scarf she had worn around her neck being permitted to fly freely behind her back; the thick fog quickly swallowing the sharp spell of red it had blazed so flamboyantly.
This sentence seems a little weird to me. The first part of the sentence, to me, seemed to be worded weirdly.

That was the only thing I saw that was weird for me. Overall, this seems like a pretty good story even if there is only a prologue.

I love all the detail you put into the prologue, update soon :)

I FINALLY got around to reading this. Now that I'm Christmas break I'm making it my duty to get around and read everything I'm subscribed to and you are first on my list my dear. :) To be completely honest, I'm sort of in awe. For some reason I don't remember you being able to write so incredibly. The word choice you use is exquisite and makes me supremely jealous because you just have all of these....amazing vocabulary and what not. I don't even know, and I know this was posted at the beginning of November, but I hope you update soon. :)

This was really cool.

Good job :)

I really really liked this. You have some skills to make Cee speechless, kid. <3 Your summary was alluring and I wanted to read. I loved the banner and the layout - so simple it was. You used description in this and I loved it. It was amazing and short. I love the title, also. I mostly wanted to read it because of that. You did an amazing job.

I'm also talking to Alu and I was like "It was days like this, she mused, that were her favourites. isn't it suppose to be favorites" xD I didn't know that was the British spelling. I'm sorry. <3

I am sorry for the late comment, also. (:

Oh my God, your descriptive language here is entracing! I love it. It's intense, and beautiful, but it isn't overwhelming.The prologue, in particular its last paragraph, has piqued my interest. I am really excited to see how this is going to unfold.

Also, the layout is gorgeous! I'm in love with lighthouses.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter :)

I really love this. It was just... I guess well written. I could see it happening, and even though it's just the prolegue, it was very satisfying. xD

I think it was the perfect length, even though it was a bit short. You didn't need to make it longer.

Perfect! More soon?

I see I have already commented, and yet I am doing a comment swap... so I will comment again!

This time, I'll tell you that I super dig the layout. Not too much, not too little. Perfectly assembled and it seems to go nicely with the story so far! :)

This was extremely well written! I enjoyed it quite a bit. =D.
I had to read a few spots more than once, but it really was an amazing prologue. I can't wait until you add more. =D

I read the prologue of this a few days ago, as I saw that you had whored it out; I remember it interesting me greatly. It was poetic and philosophical, but it didn't drown you in description and try too hard to get itself across, y'know? I really admired that the balance between them was kept right.

I adored the contrast between the beauty of the natural day and the carefully chosen sentences about technology; it was exactly how I would put it, but in a more.. beautiful way.

So very easy to read, I loved this. Absolutely; carry on or it shall be a gigantic waste upon Mibba.

I read the prologue of this a few days ago, as I saw that you had whored it out; I remember it interesting me greatly. It was poetic and philosophical, but it didn't drown you in description and try too hard to get itself across, y'know? I really admired that the balance between them was kept right.

I adored the contrast between the beauty of the natural day and the carefully chosen sentences about technology; it was exactly how I would put it, but in a more.. beautiful way.

So very easy to read, I loved this. Absolutely; carry on or it shall be a gigantic waste upon Mibba.

I really like this layout, the colors are bright and pretty and match the banner, so good job on that! I like your writing style a lot! You put in those little details that enhance the story completely. I like the main character, she seems fun and loving, from what I've read :]. Wait, so she doesn't like her father's job, because they are too controling and only want power? This was really good, you are a good author! Keep it up :].

Late comment is late?
:D

'Kay so first- love the title. Maybe it's just because whenever I think of that, I think of things looking like something and then BAM IT'S TOTALLY MUCH MORE SEVERE AND CRAZY UNDERNEATH. GASPTWIST. And I love things like that.
And I don't know, that's what I'm just inferencing from the title. That you're going to have major twist.
don'tdisappointyes? :D

The layout reminded me of the ring and the lighthouse.

The first paragraph has a really good concept, I like that a lot. Basically about how us people have to shut up and listen every one in a while, beautiful, I like it. The only thing I was a little iffy about was just... so many big words? I had to re-read it like four times because there were so many. Sometimes less truly is more, it's not a competition on who sounds the smartest.
'cause we both know it'd be me anyways.
:D

OH WELL THEN, NOW IT'S GOTTEN ALL SEVERE. So basically I'm really excited because even though it's been done before I know you're going to make a fantastical story about it. And I like how you litter hints of truth in there too, you fox you, where I can nod my head and be like "yep, this girl knows what she's talking about" like how people crave power?

And it's believable too, that humanity would try to control everything.

Oh, and the giant blocks of writing are sort of unattractive. Maybe split them up a little more? It would be a little easier on the eyes and wouldn't make me feel iffy on whether I want to read it or not.

Anyways, AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, I lurve this. A lot. And it's only the prologue.
<3