I liked the old people who portrayed the characters better a little. But other than that, I love the changes you've made, and I Love the change in tone in the summary, and moer Sloane action going on!
I really, really liked this. You have no idea. There were a few sentence structure problems but the overall beginning was amazing. It held my attention and was so creatively written that you stand out from nearly all the other writers on here. Keep up the good work! ~Allie
I won't be silent anymore :) This story beginning leaves me hanging! What is this business with Lex? Who is Lex? Why are both Meggie and Lex in love with Sebastian? Answer my questions with an update? That'd be sweet of you :) haha. I quite like this beginning. Quite do!! Update soon, please. For my sanity :)
I am very excited for this story. You are a terrific writer and your ideas are completely original, which is a rare find on this site. I can not wait for the next one. Great job.