Golden Children and the Others - Comments

This is beautifully written ! You've definitely gotten yourself a subscription. I read the first and second chapter, and im about to read the rest (: You know your characters very well, and each of them are unique in their own way.

Chapter six was a beautiful, beautiful chapter.
Especially when it spoke of Ava and Teddy.
It made my heart swell with love. It was just so sweet and the emotions were real and raw in that section. It actually made me tear up a bit.
You've got a beautiful writing skill, my dear.
Don't ever let it go.

Their minds and hearts and bodies had missed each other, and Ava knew as they tumbled into their familiar bedroom that she was home, that she could be anywhere with him. Their minds and hearts combined as their bodies took over, and Ava's heart swelled with love for him, unconditional love, and she was so glad that they were having a baby. Together.

That, that made me almost cry. It was so real and just. . .sacred, it seemed. I can feel the love, passion, and need between Ava and Teddy. And I love it.

Not gonna lie, I've only read the first chapter.

I quite like the idea for this fic; it's cute at first, and then the plot begins to thicken. Your descriptive style is brilliant and I love how you're characterized everyone; believable and how I'd imagined the "golden children" to be. I love the relationship between Faryn and James, and the bit about Ava being pregnant and it being weird for her to use Floo powder.

The only thing I really have to say was that the layout was a bit hard for me to read. The times is just a bit tough for me with the closeness. I can't find anything I really don't like about the story XD

I don't normally like Harry Potter fan-fiction, but I really liked this story. It has an interesting plot to it. I will definitely be reading more chapters of this story. I really did love the characters you created. They are all unique in their own way. Good job.

Did something happen between her and Lysander, since she said it was awkward? He's right, Grynfindor rules all man, they're the best! haha :). Wait, isn't Faryn Harry and Ginny's daughter?
Oh wait, never mind. They're just good friend's with their sons and daughters, correct?
Whoaa, Ava's pregnant? Did I miss somethign here? Dang..
She's going to be a spy while she's pregnant, are you kiddng me? Is she crazy?
How long have Teddy and Ava been together? and how old are they?
Oh jeez, so much drama, so much going on. I dont even knwo who's side to be on.
The ending to chapter three, talk about intense. This story only gets better as I read it :D.

I got you in the swap again. Haha! I read chapter two this time. Anyway, you've done a very excellent job at making your characters real. You've breathed a beautiful amount of life into them and it really does show as the reader follows. Once again you've created a beautiful picture for one to imagine and I do have to say. .I'm starting to really enjoy this. I may even subscribe. :D

I really don't like Harry Potter. At all. But this was pretty good. You've really put a lot of work into it and it shines through in your wording. It's really entertaining, although I really don't have a clue what the hell you're talking about most of the time. :D Anyway, you're a very skilled writer and the layout is gorgeous. <33

Oh my god, LAST CHAPTER! What?! You better hurry up and update this or I shall have to resort to going Hansey on someone >.> Ahem. Anyways, lovely chapter once again. I thought the beginning was so sweet, though. I'm glad that Faryn and Adalia made up <3 Aww! OH AND SHE JUST HAD TO BRING UP JAMES, RIGHT? :| I hope for her sake that Dawn mysteriously and suddenlydies breaks up with him. >.> And the ending was a totally awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! moment <3 They finally chose a name! :D
Anyhoos, I'm really, really excited to see the next chapter and you're doing a lovely job so far :D <3

Once again, I know xD Like I said last time, y'know how fangirl-ish I get, hahah! This was such a cutie chapter. I was totally seeing Hermione, Ron, and Harry again, walking along Diagon Alley together <3 Ah, memories. At the end, though, I felt so bad for Ava. I wanted to hop into the story and give her a hug <3 :( I think my favorite part of this chapter was this: “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, baby. How can you ever forgive me?” she murmured, a mantra to keep the coming hours at bay.

He pulled back, a breath away from her lips. “I could never be mad at you. Not forever. I love you, you realize that? That’s why there’s a ring on your finger,” he whispered.

“I know, I know. Just hold me.” IT'S JUST SO SUGARY SWEET AND ADORABLE <333
Lovely chapter (: Can't wait to read the rest <3

This is really good, though sometimes it feels a bit wordy. xD
I like that its the next generation children, and they're all very complex.
I'mma subscribe. (:

How ironic that I get to claim your story again! xD Anyways, since the last chapter, I felt so bad for Ava and Teddy D: And I love the fact that the girls have to get their stuff the second they get their letters! And since you've enlightened me on the love interests over MSN, I can tell that Faryn really likes James ;D Oh, hell, I would too. He's such a cutie, just like his dad <3 But too bad he's already taken by Dawn Cain. Sorta like Harry and Cho, only Cho and Harry never dated. Except for the Yule Ball in The Goblet of Fire. No, wait, Harry went with one of the Patil twins. And Cedric went with Cho. Okay, sorry for the random rambling. xD
I have to say that you've got my excitement on overdrive xD Can't wait to read the rest! <3

I really like thi and i usually don't like Hogwarts fan fics. You are very detailed, and you write very well. I've got to say that i like Addy the best though :)

Well, I've got to say, I did have to do quite a bit of research while reading this here and there, mostly since I've only seen the first two movies, so I must admit that at first I was struggling a bit.

Your writing I find is detailed enough to keep it interesting but not so much that I'm drowning, and it sort of has this nice sort of tone to it. I find myself easily burning through the chapters, which is good.

The character I do like too, they've sort of already got a few things here and there that were mentioned in the book (aside from Faryn and Addy) but I like how you definitely expanded on that. Overall, actually, I think it's a unique plot. Most are about how she falls in love with Draco or something like that, but this is a lot more interesting. It has the main giant plot (the whole darkness coming back thing) which keeps the reader constantly reading for the more sinister undertone, but the mini sub plots where you get to know the characters more with the romances and the friendships that sort of keep me on my tiptoes the entire time.

I must say, this is a really good story, well thought out I can see. I did notice that you used "manned" instead of manner though, in the first chapter. :)

So I'm slooowly getting to commenting all of the chapters. Now, I'm on chapter 3. Yay! (: Anyways, I think you know how much I love this story already. I love how chapter 3 starts off: These times were some of Faryn’s favorites. She was with her boys. Dawn was not there to ruin the moment. Lysander wasn’t here either; she loved him well enough, but things were still a tad awkward between them. It's just so freakin' adorable and you characters are so real! I'm getting a feeling that Faryn has a crush on Lysander? ;D I can't wait to see what goes on between them. And the rest of this chapter is just so funny and adorable. Reading this makes me smile (:
Sorry for the lame-ish comment, but I'm sorta busy right now >.< I'll definitely come back and review the rest! <3

^ and in his one now!
*this

Yeah, sorry. I couldn't stand my typo, I just had to correct it. Oh well, two comments for you from me! It can be my Christmas present to you!

I haven't been able to stumble across a good New Generation Harry Potter fanfiction yet, and it seems that I have in his one now!

I love how you add in all these typical teenage feelings, the confusion etc. etc. along with this drama. It just adds a twist, because I suppose that it'd be boring without the Dark Mark etc. I also adore how you portray the new characters, you make good use of them--not like other stories I've read, hehe. I really do like this, keep it up!

I love it.

"...the last thing she needed was Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy telling the school what color her panties were."

I loved that line, it made me laugh, and nod at the same time.

Good Work. Keep it Up.
x

Apparently, Mibba hates me because it never sends me any notifications of updates anymore :| Bleh! Anyways, I'm so, so glad you updated this :D You guys have such an original idea going on here; it's absolutely perfect! I'd be so freakin' terrified if the Deatheaters were back. But aren't they unable to use magic without Voldemort...? Or is Mr. No-Nose back as well? Sorry, that's a little family joke about Volde, haha! Anyways, this is so intense with everything that's going on. It gets your pulse racing and your breath hitching, exactly like in the series. It's notoriously hard to do that now, since the books ended, but you guys are pulling it off amazingly :D
As always, can't wait to see what you come up with! <3

Deatheaters back? Oh, defenitly not good! How could Voldemort be back? Impossible
They still called in Dumbledore's Army? That's good :) That makes me happy :)
Okay I'm a little confused, I know James is Harry's. But, who is Fred's parents?
McGonagal is headmaster? I agree with that, if it can't be Dumbledore, it should be her.
It makes me smile everytime to be reminded that James is Harry's son's name :)
Wait, he named another one of his son's Albus? really! aww that's even sweeter!
The Deatheater situation, kind of freaking me out! Ava is gong to go into disguise?

Like i said before, your characters are practically made for this book. They fit in so well! Plus your writing makes it seem like a real sequel to the Harry Potter series. You're doing an amazing job!

this is brillant.
I've only read the first chapter - i am going to have to find my glasses and read it proparly but right now I have a headache
But before I do
You have managed to carry on the story with great ease, while your writting style is not quite the same as J.K.Rowlings (which is a good thing i think) you have picked up the story fantasticly. The characters you have invented are obviously complex, interesting and well thought.
The story line so far seems like it will be intereting.
So =)