A Story Within A Story - Comments

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that I'm totally hooked on this story now. I love the detail and I love how well everything just flows together.

The layout it stunning and goes great with the banner.

I'm certainly intrigued and I really do hope you continue to update this in the near future. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of this. I'm very curious to see where this story goes and I can't wait to get to know Angora better.

Update soon.
:)

The layout is just gorgeous. Simply gorgeous, much like the summary. When I read it, I could picture everything that was going on. Your writing is simply amazing; every word was perfect for the situation and your description of... Peter, I believe, was amazing. The writing just flowed so perfectly. I only noticed two or three mistakes but nothing really important. TLTWATW was my favorite Narnia movie (I haven't actually read the books) but I look forward to seeing where this beautiful story goes. (:

Wow, I just finished the first chapters. :) It's rather breathtaking, I must say. Every word you write just flows so well and it's so..intriguing. And beautiful. It's great, really. <3

So, Narnia is an obsession of mine (Instead of using my newly found freedom to get into a rated R movie I'm going to see Narnia). Your layout is gorgeous and your writing is absolutely wonderful. I am surprised to see that for her, the portal opened in a bathroom stall - a little Chamber of Secrets relevance maybe? Anyway, I hope you update soon because I like it very much :)

So I possibly like this more then the books.....your writing just calls to me more then other writing...idk why. You are so talented, I just love this. Seriously, I'm subscribing :)

I really love this story so far, the descriptions etc are really good, and really make me imagine/see what it is like in the 'dream'. I would really love to read more! Seems like a fantastic story so far, your writing style is really great!!

I really love the combination of the banner and the layout. The banner is gorgeous!

That would be weird, to be just alone, with no one around, I would feel so odd you know? Why can't she hear? That's a weird. It's Peter and Aslan (spelling?). Narnia, I really like the story line of them. I bet you'll do an awesome job with this! From the prolouge, I can already tell that your a wonderful author. You get the reader interested quickly, and your writing flows wonderfully. Ooooohh, a kiss ;).

Oh a dream, damn. Well, i believe that it will come up in the future. I think her dream is of something that is going to happen, just a guess though. Ugh, being late, never a good thing, I hate feeling rushed. I know how that feels, my mother takes forever in the bathroom as well haha :). Okay, so Angora is a college student, so she's like 18 or 19 then? Good ending, it had a good hook to it! This is a relaly godo story, keep it up!

“Love you to, Mom,”
I believe it's too instead of to. (not trying to be rude, just trying to help :])

The snow happened to be a little gray near the roads

^I liked how this wasn't all, "Everything is white and pure and amazing because it's perfect!" It seems realistic and more appropriate somehow. (:

she could barely see at all, for she was a little more than blinded. Blinded by what, you might ask, she did not know. All she knew was there was no sound, no person or creature in sight, and there seemed to be no smell in the air,

^ The phrase, "person in a bubble," came to mind here for some reason. O:

And to make it all worse, she did not know the name for whom she was waiting for.

^ All this mystery, hehe.
It's making me addicted.<3

There was, what seemed to be, a lion standing on his hind legs, claws lashing out and it's head in the air.

^I really liked the image that put into my mind. :)

She felt her worries diminish, for they seemed so impish compared to this boy's presence

^ This line was really, really nice. (:

It was like he was blowing the sunshine, that was missing from the skies above, into her very soul.

A very nice idea.<3 I get reminded of the fey from Melissa Marr's tales of Faerie here. C: I loveeee that book so being reminded of it with your awesome writing is like, Amazing. :D <3

I noticed a few grammar errors, but not too many. This really is lovely. (: <3
I'm incredibly curious to see where this goes. :)

There was absolutely no logical reasoning behind it.

This line tells me that this will be amazing. :)

And if that wasn't enough proof, the fact that you've got some amazing detail going on and this freaking brilliant writning style is. C:

I'm going to sub and then try and leave this gihugic comment of awesomeness for you. :D

<3

That was extremely trippy. I totally felt like I was on drugs, like hard core on drugs while reading that. Everything felt all lully and it made me tired. Which was good, because you made me feel what Angora was feeling and that was just awesome. I really have to be honest with you, while I know what the narnia stories are...for the most part I have never seen the movies or read the books. And I have go to get on that. I know what Aslan is and I know who the characters are just not really what happens. But nonetheless, I was very interested in this. I'm curious as to what more will happen and hopefully I don't need to read/see the books/movies to know what's going on? Also, there were a few gender mix ups throughout the prologue, and a few misworded sentences but that was about it for grammatical/spelling errors. :) great job bb.

:D
Wow, this so far is so beautiful.
And the layout is to die for.
I cannot wait for more!

First off, I love the layout. It's so pretty. :3

Secondly, I've never read a Narnia fanfic, and I didn't like the Narnia books past TLTWATW. But this story really makes me want to go back and read it.

Is the boy Peter? It sounded like Peter. I'm actually really excited to continue reading this, because I'm intrigued to see why he breathed into her face like that and why she felt all of her emotions ever.

The setting was painted very nicely. Job well done on everything. :D

Continue.

It's beautiful. I'm awed.

I thought the summary was quite lovely. I liked the bit about snow. I liked that you included what her home was like so there was a contrast in this new world she's entered. I thought it was great that before we even know who she is we know where she comes from and a little of her personality, so even without knowing her identity, we already know enough about her to be drawn into her story.

It was a long prologue, but I found it all flowed into each other. Every paragraph led nicely to the next and by the time she met him, it was hard not to be captivated by the narration, much like it reflected her captivation with him, which was absolutely lovely.

I thought the last line was a fabulous line to end on. I hope you keep writing this. I can tell from the way it's written that you really care about this story and take your time with it and that makes it all the more enjoyable to read.

CAN I CALL DIBS ON THIS?!
I WANT IT.
I'LL EAT IT.
I'M SO EXCITED..CAN YOU TELL!?
IT TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO TYPE THIS, BECAUSE I WAS TYPING SO FAST AND KEPT MAKING MISTAKES, BECAUSE I'M THAT EXCITED. Sorry for the run-on. :D
I'M SUBBING!
LOVE THIS ALREADY.
:D <3