Perfect chance to tell him off in the security of her own home. Atleast her mom may be nicer to her if she would just tell him off. 'Didn't want you to touch me the first time or force your cousins on me. Don't beat the shit out of me at school anymore or I call the cops. ' At least she would have an out cry witness.
I've never been really interested in these types of stories cause they kind of scare me and freak me out. I was brought here by comment swap and my intention was to only read the first chapter but I couldn't stop i read all that was there and subscribed. I really enjoyed it and your writing is amazing, :)
This whole story is intense. You're handling it as seriously as it deserves and your writing style is perfect for this kind of thing. Sometimes I feel like it rushes along a little, but that's something that can be smoothed out as it goes on.
The first thing I noticed is that this starts very abruptly, almost in the middle of a thought. While sometimes this can be a good thing, I feel like it's not quite working here. Even just a quick rephrase would fix this easily to being some of the awkwardness out - use introductory words instead of the blunt way it's written here.
This is the only thing I'm noticing so far that irked me; everything else is pretty wonderful. The writing style is a little choppy, but interesting enough to make up for it. Erik seemed very sweet until the rape, which is unfortunately how these things often go.
That scene in particular is actually pretty haunting; the writing is sort of detached, but it works that way. The aftermath is really devastating, though I do feel like it could have been spruced up with a little more description, especially concerning Jessica's emotions.
I didn't really want to read this but comment swap brought me here. I'm no fan of erotica or anything like that, but I needed to read. But I ended up enjoying this, your writing style is awesome, absolutely, and I like the layout. Also, I think your style would be good fr another genre, perhaps fantasy or paranormal romance.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Mibba must want me to comment on your stories or something, like really! Every other story I get is yours!! JAHAHAFLABAGA.
Copy&Paste time.
I didn't really want to read this but comment swap brought me here. I'm no fan of erotica or anything like that, but I needed to read. But I ended up enjoying this, your writing style is awesome, absolutely, and I like the layout. Also, I think your style would be good fr another genre, perhaps fantasy or paranormal romance.
I didn't really want to read this but comment swap brought me here. I'm no fan of erotica or anything like that, but I needed to read. But I ended up enjoying this, your writing style is awesome, absolutely, and I like the layout. Also, I think your style would be good fr another genre, perhaps fantasy or paranormal romance.
this story is different. i feel bad for her soo much i hope joey is a nice guy. the writing is good, the grammar is also fairly good. the concept is interesting and the characters are also quite interesting. her mother confuses me tho