Close Your Eyes - Comments

so beautiful, so sad, i cried at the end

that was so sad O.O ...yet so good :D anyway, nice job :)

Firstly, it is not fair how amazing your stories are. Second, Can I, like, kill you for being too good? Third, oh, did I mention you're amazingly and marvelously fantastic? You are not being fair. Share some goodness to us please! Some of us need it here (*cough* me *cough*) Nuff said =P Lol, Kayla u the best!

So, I just read everything right now. And I absolutely loved it. I mean, every other story would've been that they fell in love and lived happily ever after. But that wasn't the case with your story, and it's good to know that you wrote something drastically different and realistic. Not everyone is so damn perfect. I also love your style of writing. :]

The ending was absolutely beautiful. <3

I like your story very much already, the way you have the character interact in his own life tells you how he is before anything really even happens and I like stories like that. I'm only on the first chapter so you'll get a more detailed comment (I hope I remember to do this!) after I've been caught up to your last update. (:

I enjoy your storyline. It is a bit cliche, but it's been a pleasure to read so far, as both your characters are unique and quite adorable.

I feel in some parts your sentences are a little choppy, however.
"This was my life. I was only eighteen and could already tell my life was going to go no where." I feel it could be better stated, "This was my life. Only eighteen, and I can easily tell my life is headed nowhere."

"For a while, the haze in front of me didn’t clear and caused it to be difficult to stare at the screen but it faded enough for my eyes to not be too badly bothered with it." Perhaps something like, "Although the haze refused to clear, and caused staring at the screen to be difficult, it eventually faded enough so that my eyes weren't too bothered by it."

It's just small, simple things like that, that make it a bit hard to read at times. You have few technical errors as well. "Within seconds, the cigar was dangling lifelessly from my mouth as I spun around on my grey computer chair." I know in that sentence you meant to use 'cigar' as a synonym, but I feel just using 'cigg' would be just as fine. Also, because there's a difference between a cigar and a cigg, and when reading the text, I thought of a fat cigar, which caused slight confusion.

However, as I stated before, I find your characters to easily likeable, and mysterious in a way. Your male, for example, we don't know why he's so bitter and has a negative attitude as of yet. You've given him a hazy past, in which I'd like to find out more. Your female is also a peculiar character, she's this free-spirited type, who obviously enjoys the little things in life. Seems she has the attitude of, "carpe diem".

Your story keeps the reader entertained, which is what we all strive for.

This story is absolutely beautiful, and so are your characters. I love it. Can't wait for the rest!

wow! i really really really like Eve!! She is very very very funny and very interesting. I had to subscribe before i commented because I wanted to make sure i would be able to follow your story. I'm really excited to see what will happen, and i like how in chapter 5, you focussed a bit more on the family again. Even the main character is very interesting...he definitely sounds to be hiding something. I really like the characters so far...but Eve is by far my favorite. She is really different and i like how unique she is. I am curious if her tearing up over the screeching of the car means anything...update soon!!!! =)

I believe I am in love with you're main character. May I marry him? No... okay, I'll live, barely.
- Sorry I'm weird XD. Your detail is to die for, your characters make me want to melt. I've been captured by the little trap you call close your eyes, and I'm not sure I want to be let go. I desperately needed a story like this, and I enjoyed this so much. You are amazing, keep it up. Oh and your prologue gave me chills it was so fantastic. I really have no complaints.

So, this is my review:

This was a very well written story, and I could really see from Blake's point of view and feel the pessimism he had for everything around him. On the contrary, it seemed during the first chapter he wasn't as pessimistic as he was in the following chapters. Was this purposely planned? Due to the fact that you're still writing this story, then my guess is you'll explain it eventually.

The setting was good during the story, and you gave the reader enough information to know where Blake was at all times. The character imagery was just descriptive enough that you gave whoever is reading this enough imagery to picture the characters without boring them to sleep with a lengthy description.

During Chapter two, the transformation from when Blake had met Eve to when he sat down for dinner was a little rough. He had sat down to dinner, and I had thought the scene where he had met Eve was over, and then he was again reminiscing about how he had just met her. It was just a little confusing, but it may of been just been the paragraph order that threw it off.

I would like to point out the small details that you had switched around during the story. In the first chapter you described Blake as being nineteen, but then later on when he was preparing to take a shower, you said he was eighteen. Also beforehand, you had mentioned that his brother did sports when Blake had went into the house without the fear of anyone being home. Later you changed so that his brother would be enabled to playing sports. Little details like these wouldn't necessarily be picked up by many readers, unless the reader was paying very careful attention, but nonetheless it is important to remember so it wouldn't effect your plot.

First I would like to say thanks for commenting on my story. :)

Your layout is pretty. I like the picture a lot.

I like how she won't open her eyes. I kinda wish I could do that, if even for a day. And I like how she always knows what he's doing even with her eyes closed.

Retrieving a black V-neck and baggy dark jeans. It's nice reading a story where guys don't wear skinny jeans. Haha...

How you describe things is done really well. Your writing style is good. I like this story a lot and I cannot wait to see where you go with it. :)

The layout is cute:3
And I don't know why but I absolutely loved the description of the flame, scrawny flame, I was like THIS GIRL = DEEP^.^
Anyway, I love Eve! From the very beginning, just the fact that she decided to lay on someone's yard, she also seems very spunky and feisty, I like her upbeat attitude and how it totally clashes with our little smoker/drinker, they somehow make a cure pair, <3

MUSTACHE MAN FOR YOU!
:{D

i absolutely loved reading this!
it's so cute, and i love it's simplicity, but still the way it works.
i'm in love with blake, and just his "who cares" facade.
this story is really great, i'm going to subscribe. c:

*on a side not, i'm probably going to read your second story tomorrow since i'm dead tired, is that ok? :3

I absolutely enjoyed this Please update soon!

I really love this :)

Like everyone else before me, I really enjoy this story. It's so simple, but it works. It's really awesome. Great job. Keep up the good work. =]

Enjoyed it very much. It was nicely written, the layout was beautiful, and you're writing style is great. I love how...perfect it is. I know that makes no sense.

I just like it. I can't say much because I only read chapter one. But I like it anyway. I may read more later. <3 Kudos.

Four out of Five Sin points.

1.

THIS LAYOUT IS AWESOME!

2.

The Since when was pork chops my favorite meal? part was funny.

3.

Eve is a good name. My name is Chavah, it's Hebrew for Eve. =)

I <3 Eve so much! She makes me happy! She really is sweet. And Karma really is hunting Blake isn't it?

I liked this, it was great story and that's no lie. Great job.