Close Your Eyes - Comments

Okay, first, sorry for the delay. I must've accidentally deleted the journal >.< Second, I really love the layout. It's nice and pretty and isn't painful to look at. Third, I'm absolutely in love with the summary; however, I don't get how a girl can be apart of normal society when she can't open her eyes. Or...is she even apart of normal human society? Guess I better find out...
I really loved the first chapter. I love how the main character - Blake, right? Dammit, it's too late for me >.< - is sorta like a rebel. That sucks that his life is so...empty like that, being cooped up in the garage all day. No joke, I'd die. Or maybe not. The whole deal with his mom made me laugh. It's sorta like how my middle brother talks to my mom xD
I actually thought that this sentence was really pretty: I flinched; so she was awake. Damn weird girl randomly lying on our lawn. However, even when I didn’t answer her, she never did open her eyes to see me; to see what monster was tainting the relaxing scene she was in. Or actually, it's my favorite part.
Wait, wait, wait so I'm confused. The whole time she was talking to Blake her eyes were closed? Whoa o.O
ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER.
Oh, man, it's like family dinner xD Snort! Oh, and I found a mistake here: You better listen to me young man or bad things will happened. I think you mean 'happen'?
And...
...blakey has anger issues, oh, dear...
And why did he vomit? Ugh, I totally felt my stomach churning while I reading it. Oy >.<
Oh, and btw, I like Eve (:
This was an uber adorable story and I'm really interested to see where you take this. Amazing job! <3

I like the mystery of this girl. I'm stuck trying to figure out anything about her past and it's got me frustrated that I can't and I like that you can appeal to my emotion like that. She kind of reminds me of Midna from Twilight Princess (a Zelda game) because she's just like this impish, cryptic kind of person that's also super innocent at the same time. XD

Is it weird that I like how you described the vomit? Because I did. It made me wince. :o

Blake seems pressured by his family a lot. I feel really bad for him. It's like he's been under his mom's "rule" for too long and wants to get out and do his own thing. :(

I love it!

I really ike the layout and the banner picture is cute :). I think that the link color should be changed to black or white or something, so it'll fit the layout better, just a suggestion though :).

I love called it a cancer stick, you are my new best friend haha. I really love your writing, and your descriptions you use. It's freaking amazing :D. Plus, I do like the main character, and I'm interested in knowing how you are going to make his future. He is so careless, I'm curious to know how he went so downhill with his life. I think this girl is going to be a part in this story, like she's going to change him or something.

I like this very much, I know the following chapters will be just as good :D.

First off, I am diggin the layout :)

For a while, the haze in front of me didn’t clear and caused it to be difficult to stare at the screen but it faded enough for my eyes to not be too badly bothered with it. I think it would sound better if it went something like this For a while, the haze in front of me didn't clear and made it difficult to stare at the screen but it faded just enough for my eyes no to be too bothered by it.

I was only nineteen and could already tell my life was going to go no where. You don't need that part.

Your descriptions are really good, I like how long your chapters are. I found only those mistakes so in other words your story is super cool :)

I like already. You must update soon, you can't just leave us hanging!

:D Omg.
It's in the guy's point of view.
I love you, already.

Any ways. The layout? Cute. The summary? "I need to know more!" Chapter one? " :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD"
Yeah. Job well done, hon. <3

I quite like this :D I'm definitely curious now, and as turducken said, this is a new twist on the classic story. You get his personality across extremely well.
I love how she's just...lying there. And I love that line about his little brother, too.
This was written very well; it was a bit choppy in the beginning flow-wise, but around the second paragraph or so it started to ease into a better flow.
Layout is gorgeous xD Though on the quote on the banner, did you mean to have only the 'is' of 'his' italicised? That's what it appears to be...
Overall, great job!

This was definitely pretty interesting,sort of a like a twist on the classic girl-changes-boy.
I always like boy perspectives too, to be honest, and I like that. And of course your imagery is pretty damn amazing, as you've probably already heard.
Eve's definitely the character to pull me into the story, and it really makes me wonder what you're going to do with her, since he seems like sort of a train wreck on his own.
The only thing is that you say cigarettes and alcohol like, a million times. I know that he's supposed to smell like that, and you're trying to get he's a deadbeat across, but there's just so much. x]

I really like it so far. There were a few grammatical errors but other than that, it was very nice and easy to read. The background is gorgeous and the way you write really does draw people in. I'm interested in seeing more about this girl because she sounds like she's got something secret going on. I don't know. It just seems like there's more to her than there seems. Also, is she like young or a teenager or what? I don't think I saw anything about that. I want to say she's a teenager but I don't know. XD

I agree totally with silk tea. You have a beautiful sense of imagination and this was written beautifully. I adore that it's written from his POV. Plus, the layout is so darling. <3 Fantastic job my dear.

I sort of just wanted to hug the main character. I have to say, that opening line was incredibly impressive. I'm always trying to figure out how I can create an opening line that makes readers want to keep reading, and you've obviously got that figured out.

The amount of detail was perfect, as was the length. I didn't spot any errors or anything, so that was really awesome as well.

Great job!

I found this adorable. I think you're taking a normally cliche topic and making it your own. The fact that it's in the male's perspective makes it that much better. Everything being described as you do makes it fantastic. In all honesty, I find that this is adorable, and while there are bits that could be improved it's pretty awesome.

The layout is really cute. <3

I love how well you describe everything that's going on and I love the way Eve responds to Blake. She's an odd character and I really love that about this story. It's so original and guuh, adorable. I can't wait to see where you take this. I'm sure it's going to turn out fantastic!

First of all, I am sorry about the late comment. Second of all, I wanted to say that I am in love with the layout and the banner - they are both beautiful.

I love how you began with what the main character was doing, and then went into what he was thinking.

While I was reading, I was wondering if I had read this before but I remember you posting a bit of this story into a journal. I am glad that you have written this. :)

Damn weird girl tied my shoelaces together. Without me noticing. Without her eyes open.
I love this part. And I also like how the last two sentences were short; I think it added to the effect of the little scene.

Oh my goodness. I really loved the ending of this chapter. A guy like me didn’t deserve to smile. Gah, it made me feel sorry for the main character, whose name I do not know. Overall, I love this story so far, and I hope you will update soon.

FIRST COMMENT!!

d'aw! he's so sweet! Well he's a bit of douche, but there is part of him that's sweet and I like that part!! I can't wait to see more!