White Roses for Mary - Comments

Wonderful. Truly.

I wanted to comment this morning but couldn't because I had school.

XD I loved the author's note. It made my day, I showed it to my friend Via my iPod like 20 Times.

I love the story :)
It's was cute.

I love you, I don't know how many times I'm gonna tell you this, but shiz man. Zak Bagans without his shirt, that crosses my mind like ten times a freaking day man. Ah, I love it. You should put your author's notes in the author's note because it really disrupts the story and the whole flow. Other than that small note, this was really good (:

I loved how you explained why Mary is attracted(sp?) to Zak, cause that's why I love him too!
It also made her feel, alive, not dead(:
I cannot wait till the next update!

Wow... This is absolutely awesome! The way you describe how Mary feels makes it seem as though I am Mary and that's how I feel... Amazing! Keep it up! I can't wait to read more!

Yayy! A change in the story.. I like it a lot :)
i'm curious as to see what will happen if Mary does go home with Zak..?(:
Update soon please!

I really, really like this story. More, please?

Yeah I think you nailed the guys personality. I can't make the banner at this moment,but if you ask me later on I could.

I'm in love with your story, probably because it is a Zak Bagans fanfiction. It's pretty good, your way of portraying their reactions, I can imagine them reacting that way. I'm surprised you didn't have Nick say, "that's exactly what I felt." Ah, I love them all haha. Anyway, I can't wait for another lovely update.

I loved it!
It kinda made me sad again but still it was an awesome sad :{D <<I added a mustache to that... because I felt like it. XD
Can't wait for the next update.

OH MY !
Dang, I reallly reallly want you to update this soon.

I liked this, but it was three chapters, and I asked for two only. Still great job (:

I like it :P

So, I'm diggin the new chapter. One thing is, if Ben is as mean as he sounded in the previous chapter, why did he let her go so easily? I mean, that scene could have been a tad bit more intense, other than that I love it. I love that you had Zak talk to the camera and explain what he felt, that made me picture him immediately :) Update soon so I can read more :D

So, I'm assuming this is a fanfiction. And I know I don't know who it's about (well, I know who just not really who they are in real life.)

Anyway, that doesn't matter.
I really do like this. I love that Mary's a ghost. :)
You write very well from her POV; it's a hard job, and you can handle it in a nice way.

I look forward to see where this goes.

This is good. It took me a while to figure out that she was a ghost. I've never read a story with a ghost in in before, I've tried writing one, but it didn't work out well. I love the...vibe, I guess that you describe when they are going to go into Ben's room and I can't wait to read what actually happens in there, you've set up the suspense very well. Defiantly subscribing. :)

Okay the first line, the word 'them' being in there and crossed off is completely unnecessary unless you're writing a story as a diary entry. A person, when speaking or thinking, cannot cross off a spoken / thought about word.

I see you've done this continuously and it really disrupts the flow of the chapter and the words. You've got a good thing going here, good descriptions and feeling and dialogue, but you just have to take out those crossed off words for it all to click and flow.

Also one other error - I noticed how you made Zak comment on how she was a nice girl, but...he didn't know her when she was alive. Given, Martha merely said she wasn't vicious to the people who came through.

But yeah, I like where you're going with this.

This is cute <3
Subscribing :)

I'm glad that there are Zak Bagan fans out there like me! I love how you chose the Mary as a ghost instead of an alive person(: I cannot wait for more chapters!

I like it! Though I have a feeling that Ben is gonna be bad news DX But I still want more! XD I like it lots!