Bettering The Bruises - Comments

I like the layout, the color scheme and the background make it look very pretty. The banner to me looks a bit overcrowded with text though, and it sort of takes away from the layout.

Your writing seems very good. There were hardly any errors in the story and your writing seemed to flow together nicely. However, I do feel like you over explained just a bit in a few sentences. It wasn’t choppy or anything. The story kept my attention rather well, there were some parts that I found boring, but that happens with every story. For the most part, I really enjoyed the story and didn’t stray from reading it. And that’s really good.

The story was a good read overall, I enjoyed it a lot.

I like it a lot so far -- very creative and you've already made me like the characters, so I want to know more about them. I like the layout and banner, but they don't seem to fit well with the story. But, besides that, they're easy on the eyes.

I think that you're doing a lot of telling rather than showing, like when she introduces her best friend she just outright says, "She's my best friend and she's great," but you could do that in another way like, "I looked down at my phone to see a message from Mercedes, and I smiled brightly. Messages from her were always the best -- as was to be expected from a best friend."

Over all, good job!

I like it so far. I'm excited to see where it will go. :)

Love it <3

Do not delete this story. Seriously. It's going really good. :D
Thanks for the shoutout, by the way. :3
Keep it up! Can't wait to see what happens next.

I love Glee, so you've already got ME hooked. xD
You're a very good writer, but I need to see a better balance of description vs dialogue. Description is very hard, so it's not anything crucial, but you do need to consider it more.
I don't like the layout, to be frank, but that's nothing to do with your story, so who cares? xD
You're so far pretty good at capturing the character's personality, so I'm glad you haven't twisted them.

Good luck, and I can't wait to read more!

'Tis cool :D

I just wanna say...this is really good! It's a different topic than people usually write about (so I've seen so far) and you write very well. Hmmm, do I see something happening between Mohawk guy or Puck? Agreeing with Broadway, I think that developing Jenna and Jake's relationship first to add some background would be good, but perhaps you wanted that air of mystery where Jenna lied about him never hitting him before, which is good in itself. I'm quite interested in this story, its something real that happens to people all the time but some never know. Update soon??

I like the plotline - it can go someplace and it's very original.

I think that perhaps you jumped in a little quick - maybe you should have started it off with the first time Jake abused her? I just think it would help the readers get a feel for it instead of diving in to cold water.

Also, I'm seeing Puck as slightly out of character, but that can't be helped. He's a b*tch to write, believe me, I've tried. It's not terrible, though, and I can attribute it to a side he hides from the rest of Glee but lets out when he sees injustice in the world. Although he may not like it, he's got a big heart. <3

I like where you're going with this - I'd advise taking some of broadway.'s advice, but other than that, it's good so far. :)

I think that you've got a really nice idea here, and you're well on your way to making this story something great. I liked the first chapter well enough, it definitely kept my attention the entire way through. I just can't help but think that you jumped into the abuse pretty quick. Personally, I think I would have developed the relationship between Jenna and Jake, so that your readers could get an idea of the dynamic between them. I feel like you could've stretched out the conflict and not even have mentioned the abuse until a few chapters in. You'd also increase the suspense - obviously your readers know that Jenna's going to end up with Puck, but by dragging on her relationship with Jake, it would definitely keep people reading and wondering when she was going to wise up and dump Jake's ass and get with the smexy Puckerman.

Just something to consider xD

The Jake character is awfulm, really. I think we've all been in a place that we feel we can't escape from, much like Jenna's situation, which makes her relatable, and more real. Finn sounds like a decent, strong male character. But, yeah...we're all waiting on Puck to put the moves on her! [:

I love this!!!
I think Jenna should be with Puck :) Jake's a jerk.
This sounds really really interesting!
I'm subscribing!!!!! :D I love this so much! <3

First off, I love Glee. However, when I first came across the summary I assumed it would be a fanfic with no original storyline, but I was wrong. I liked how the main character wasn't Rachel or Finn, but someone else who we don't know and can relate too. The way you write is good too, but maybe taking a little more time describing certain things would help the reader understand more about the situation. I really like the story, though, and I think you should continue writing it:)

I actually loved the first chapter. (: It was very good Mel.
<3
I always liked Finn (he's like.. the only character I know from the show unfortunetly..) Anyway, uhhh.. I feel bad for Jenna.
As much as I think of Jake being freaking hot and stuff, the dude is a fucking bastard. I hate him.
I'm freaking glad uh.. . . . . OH RIGHT; Puck beat him up. (:
Does everyone call him Puck or Noah..? I don't know these things. xD
Anyway: update soon. :D

this seems really good but Jake is an asshole
you confused me a bit when Jenna thanked Finn for sticking up for hern though, did you mean when he took her away from the fight?

Damn, I love this already.
Great layout, great chapter, keep it up! I'm definitely subscribing. :3

I really like this already. I like the way you write as well. Jenna seems like a good sturdy character with a troubled past. I can't wait until you introduce more of the characters. A great start! =]

Mk, so I think what you really need to do is go through and proofread this. You tend to overexplain things like hardcore. The fact that she needed a car ride home for example you told is like four different ways in just the first paragraph. You need to go through and slim your sentences down because they're very wordy and a little bit much. but gotta say, I love Puck. ;]

I lovelovelovelove this. Your writing is great! <3 It's a great story idea. I'm subbing, update soon? :D

stole comment virginity! :D

I really like this so far.
I cant believe he hit her though, damn jerk. But I thought it was great that you had some guys stand up for her. Its rare to see that these days :/

So great writing and please update soon!