8:23 - Comments

Great emotion. Lovely layout. For it being short, you did really well.

For a somewhat short piece of writing, the amount of detail and emotion you put into it was astounding. I absolutely loved the narration and the subtle use of repetition. And the way you describe things is so original and fresh - I especially loved the part about the father's 'miasmic nightmare' and him 'falling, falling, falling' off the roof.

The narrative style was my favourite thing about the piece though. Like the commenter above me, I imagined it to be Death. And it kind of reminded me of A Christmas Carol too... y'know, the ghosts showing Scrooge different scenes?

Anyway. I don't know what else to say. I'm still kind of in awe. xD I haven't read anything this good on Mibba in a while, so good job!

I'd first like to note that, as everything was just falling out of place in the story, the repetition added pressure on my shoulders. I kept reading faster and faster and I couldn't look away from the page for whatever reason.

It was literally like I was . . . In a trance or something. I really enjoyed reading this. It was crazy.

I love how vague you were about exactly what happened. Yes, there was a wedding and the bride was in a cold induced coma and the baby had hypothermia, but there was really no background details which got me thinking, how the hell did this all go down?

I was seriously upset and frustrated while reading this. It was an excellent experience as a reader.

And to answer the question, I think it was death or Satan or some shit.

This is sad, but so twisted at the same time. What would usually be sad becomes twisted because of how it is narrated. It's wonderfully put together and it makes a riveting piece. You're half wondering what is going on, than part wanting to cry and part wanting to shudder. It sends delightful chills down my spine!

Hm, this was...interesting. I really didn't understand it to be honest but the detail and the suspense was there I could totally feel their emotions fear and how cold it was. So, I didn't see any grammar or spelling errors not that I'm the best person to go to that sort of thing for any way .:3 but the layout and banner was super pretty, and simple. Gotta love simple. The way every thing was set up was neat and well put together, to sum it up a very good short story :)

>.< I have no clue, but I remember this one :L
I'm guessing this was an episode?

Omg, amazing thooouuuggghhhhhhh :D