Panic - Comments

This was really intense & well-written. The picture and title, alone, had this haunting feel. I almost cried, just imaging everything, really. Tight job!

Her fear and hopelessness came through very well in your short but great descriptions. Perfectly balanced terror with haunting tones; especially your character's last revelation about the green eyes. Chilling.

Excellent story.

Hm, this was like slow-motion, the sentiments and the whole setting. It reminded me of the new Friday the 13th movie where Jason has the girl locked up. I'm imagining her as I read this. How scared she must be and how sick the guy is from watching and hearing as she screams. That's how killers are, though.

I would not live to see anything
Favorite line, mostly because it gave me the sensation that she was giving up and possibly because she knows that she has no chance in getting out of that situation. I sense that she knows him somehow, since she mentions his lovely green eyes. Or maybe he really has lovely eyes. I would want to spit on him or something, especially if I had him so close. xD

Overall, it was an amazing one-shot and quite vivid. Great job writing!

This was really amazing. It kind of reminded me of The Lovely Bones. It was really good that you condensed such an emotional time for this woman into so little words but you didn't seem to miss anything, the fear, the helplessness, everything was there and beyond perfect. I'm really glad that you haven't put any new chapters onto this which was suggested in some comments because this one-shot is about a moment, it's not really a story even, just a fleetig memory and it was really effective just like this.

Has a very creepy and eerie feeling to it.
Quite simplistic which made it even more foreboding.
It made me feel scared, green eyes? very interesting, i dont know why but that made it all the better.
The layout was also perfect for it, I really wanted to save her, made me feel helpless although its just a story.
Great work :]

Wow... just wow. This was scary but cool at the same time. I could feel how scared the character was when I was reading it. Great job. :)

(very late swap) well I loved it short but sweet charming. it reminds me of this song Date rape it's called. although it scared the wits out of me just like that song does I love the concept the layout simple I love simple things (oh revealed a secret)

This was amazing.
I felt scared and hurt.
That poor girl.
I love green eyes, that really made me think.
Good job :)

I am speechless. This story is absolutely breathtaking. It's almost staggering, but in a good way. I can almost see what he's doing to her. Hear her thoughts racing through my mind. It's so vivid.

The style that this story is written in is so different. It's choppy and dramatic, and it definitely emphasizes that she's in distress and doesn't have much time to think. Her thoughts sound like they are suffocating and that her mind is gasping just like her throat for breath.

The ending just keeps my mind reeling right now. The way that she is so brave and suddenly sure that she won't be living to see another day. It makes me sad and wish that she could escape. And I can see his eyes while reading that. Great job!

Excellent short story. It really kept me wanting more, more, more! Your layout is just like, so simple, but I love it - it goes well with the whole story. It's so scary and so sad, but written so beautifully! Great job. :)

Wow, that was excellent. I felt really sorry for the girl, and this almost scared the crap out of me. I'm sad it was short though, this is really good and I'd like to keep on reading. Your writing skills are lovely and I love how you described the man's eyes. This is amazing. Well done.

This really and truly broke my heart and scared me, aha. I feel an incredibly undeniable sense of worry and concern for the girl - a sincere wish to help her - even though I know it's silly. I wish I could know more about her situation and such, but other than that, this was amazingly haunting and perfect. (:

Oh lord. I'm scared for her. That is no good. Very interesting.

And there should most definitely be more chapters.Though she'll probably go all Stolckholm syndrome on us, it's okay :)

This is very interesting. I feel scared for your character.
Well done!