28:06:42:12 - Comments

I'm pretty sure this is the third or fourth time I've come across this story...and I'm not entirely sure why I haven't commented...unless it's been deleted and reposted and I did comment the last time I read it ;)

I liked the repetition of the introduction in the end of the story, I think that it just introduced the idea of the awkwardness, then reinforced it after the readers saw it. :) I think it was quite nice. And I liked that there was no threat of the characters having an STD and that the love wasn't because of someone having one - but because it happened from a class project on STD's, I also thought that was pretty neat how it tied in and made sense. :) I think it was written well, it wasn't over the top and it was just nice to read. :)

As soon as I saw the title of this, I was immediately attracted to it. I actually have those numbers written on the ceiling of my bedroom; I love Donnie Darko. I must admit that I wasn't a huge fan of the moving image; they just don't do it for me. I loved the summary though; that's one of my favorite quotes.

I really liked how the main characters didn't have a STD; rather that they were doing a project on it. That put an entire new spin on the story and it definitely increased the awkwardness, which you wrote very well. Overall, I thought that this piece was really cute and really adorable but I think that it could have been just a bit longer. I would have loved to seen a bit more of their relationship. Nonetheless, I'm glad I chose to read this; it was so cute. :)

Oh my, I must admit I was drawn to this on a search for something Donnie Darko related simply because it's my favorite movie. Also, "Diasterology" is a really good song so that's even better. The moving image is eye-catching, but I must say I was more than glad to scroll down because it hurt my eyes. The story itself was hilarious & took turns that I wasn't expecting all in one chapter. At first, I couldn't exactly figure out if the narrator was a guy or a girl & I thought that the narrator themselves was suffering from the STD, not doing a project on it. The pickup line was really corny but cute, I really enjoyed it. The awkwardness around "penis" was also great to me, aha. The chapter title, also, was really relevant to my beginning feelings towards the narrator & one of my favorite lines from the movie. Ugh, the way you've drawn ties between Donnie Darko & STDs was original & amazingly funny. You did a great job!

The moving picture was really interesting. I have never read a story with a moving picture in the layout. I really liked it. The layout itself was beautiful. The title really intrigued me as well.

“Lee, do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
Oh goodness. This is such a cheesy line but it made me laugh.

I like how you began the whole thing with sort of the same idea. I love it when author's do that with their stories. Now, I normally don't read slash (I used to) but I really liked this. It was cute and awkward at the same time.

journal comment swap:

going in, i'd like to say i've never actually seen donnie darko.

layout;
normally i detest moving images, but this works really well because it actually has an affect on the person looking at it. i like that you ket the background a sort of lighter color so that the moving image is more dramatic.

story;
i clicked your story to see if i could swap for it and i was immediately sucked in. the opening paragraph is just so in your face. you said it's about someone meeting the love of his life and you just don't expect STDs to go hand in hand with that so it really grips me and makes me want to continue reading.

i love the awkwardness from saying the word 'penis'. and i love that we figure out it's not that they have an STD almost immediately. it's a school project. but it makes it all the more amusing.

i love the description of Lee. it's not much, but it's enough. it tells us a lot about the character in half a sentence, and a lot about the narrator too as he describes Lee "too innocent". it makes you think the narrator doesn't consider himself innocent, or at least as innocent as the other boy.

i think the paragraph contrasting the characters is great because you also describe them, but since it's comparing it doesn't get boring or dry.

i love the subtle humor throughout, the discussion of the sex ed class and the uncomfortability (is that a word?) of the situation. it made me smile because i can sense the awkwardness, but it's cute in a way.

i think the way he uses a cheap pick-up line that's also cute (since he finds Lee cute) is super endearing and how everyone giggles and Lee just blushes. it's wonderful. and i love anytime a mouth is described as an 'o shape'.

i think it's super cute and sweet, in general.

i love this :)

This has a very awkward substance, but it flows wonderfully and is beautifully written. You really lead the reader along with a nice balance of longer, more detailed paragraphs and short, snappy ones, like this:

In a way, I kind of had a crush on him.

In a way, I was almost about to pee my pants out of nervousness because he was so close to me.

It's also kind of a twist when you find out that the protagonist is a guy.

I have to admit, though, the climax of this kinda made me cringe. The whole cheesy pick-up line thing, and then the fact that it's just over after that.

But otherwise, good!

I loved it (:

Ah man that was great I usually don't dig slash stories but it was depicted so naturally. the description had no flaw and was smooth. It was sweet and made me smile, and I believe the character was well developed in such a short time and it made me smile/laugh especially cause when I read the line I was like... How cheesy but cute lol.

Dude, I love that movie.
I still don't understand it but I love it.

Almost (but but quite) as much as I loved this.
It was so cute!
Even bad boys get scared sometimes.