I don't necessarily like the content but I think it's strangely beautiful, although it's more like a poem, the description is vivid in some areas but lacks slightly in others. Really good but personally I would think iut's more like a poem, in a good way. Not sure where this'll lead into a story.
Two mistakes; first I shall put in a capital for you; "You're not here, your arms aren't around me. You're not keeping me safe anD warm." And I think it's the third lyric paragraph from the bottom where you've put "i" instead of a capital.