We've already had some discussion on this, you know, but... I don't have in front of me the previous version, so I don't know what you added, but it feels like...I don't know. It reads fuller to me for some reason now. The P.O.V thing I think works better with that direct reference like we talked about so yay. <3 For me personally, though, I just don't think I'm used to reading 2nd person. Maybe you'll break me of that. : ) But good job, dear. I too hold envy, most certainly.
Oh, and Matty would like me to add, "Wunderbar Schriftstellerei, mein liebe." <3
I don't have in front of me the previous version, so I don't know what you added, but it feels like...I don't know. It reads fuller to me for some reason now. The P.O.V thing I think works better with that direct reference like we talked about so yay. <3 For me personally, though, I just don't think I'm used to reading 2nd person. Maybe you'll break me of that. : )
But good job, dear. I too hold envy, most certainly.
Oh, and Matty would like me to add, "Wunderbar Schriftstellerei, mein liebe." <3