Learning to Fall. - Comments

I literally recommended it before I even finished the summary. I don't often read slash or m-preg but this is a specifically special story. I'm glad Comment Swap brought me here. I really like this story. It's perfect, and I love Pete& Ryan. I hope you won this contest, this story is amazing. Some parts made me want to cry. This story is really good, and so well written. It blows my mind how great a writer you are. Blows me right out of the water.

I hope you won in the contest. It just made me feel weird about the pregnant thing. I was like, how can a boy be pregnant. But then, cool.

But you just walk out the door and stand in silence.
You know exactly what you want,
but you’re not sure that you can get it right.

This just made me happy. Great job :)

Lovely. Alright, here's the judging!
Your grammar was great most of the way through, minor little things popped up, but no one is perfect. Creativity was off the walls. Loved the whole theme behind it! One of my favorite M-pregs ever, just saying. And you followed all rules, congrats!
You earned some bonus points for making me emotional and being super descriptive. Love the creative layout, and relating to the contest obviously! Thanks so much for participating. Your final score, not including early turn in points, is roughly 89 out of 60 points. I'll post the other judges scores to you soon!

What happened to the sequel of this?
It was lovely and beautiful, obviously, but I was really looking forward to the sequel.

I have read a lot of M-Preg stories, but I have to say this is the most realistic, for sure. It seems like you really thought this out, and that's why it came out so amazing. It's just so detailed and I'm an absolute sucker for details. I love the little things that add to the story in big ways and you are such a pro at that.

There were times where I WISHED I could just jump in the story and hold Pete, or sometimes Ryan. I loved that you made Ryan so... doubtful, I guess? Because you know, being thrown into a situation like that would send anyone crazy. But even with Ryan's behaviour, with the whole paparazzi and being so touchy, I thought it was so cute that Pete was so patient. It was such a beautiful thing, they were beautiful together in their own little weird way. You wrote it all so well.

I don't know, I just loved everything about it. There's no point trying to name it all. I can't fault this.

Ryan had let Pete bend him over the counter afterwards.

I was thinking about this line while I was in the shower (LOL) and I just wanted to tell you how much I love it because it's so simple and blunt. You just went out and said it. I could never write something like that.

wow, i cannot believe i haven't read the last parts for this. i realised that i wasn't ever subscribed to it, i just always knew there were updates cos you would tell me XD i'm sorry. anyway, i really loved this story, in its entirety, there was nothing out of place and everything just felt so true. and i thought that was weird the entire time because i've never read an mpreg before so you'd think everything would seem unrealistic and i should have been one of those ignorant commenters saying that "men can't get pregnant, it's scientifically proven" but i never felt that way once. the way you wrote it, as i've said in a previous comment, more character-driven than plot-driven, really steered me away from realsing how impossible this was because all the emotions, the anger and happines and sadness are things that are so possible. i'm definitely down to read the sequel, i'd love to see how pete and ryan deal with this becaue as hard as the pregnancy was, legitimately having the child is going to cause just as many, or more problems. i just wanted to add, i might have said this when i commented on that chapter, but i loved the part with papparazzi because i've never really seen them in a story before which is just strange because the photographers would be a part of their lives, maybe not their day-to-day lives, but every so often, there would be an incident with them and i'm just glad someone who was writing a fanfiction finally really took that into consideration, and not just their presence, but the effect their presence has on these musicians and stars. everytrhing about this was just so unique and wonderful and sweet. great job. i hate that BBB doesn't allow you to post till june but that'll mean you have tons of time to edit it and peice it all together perfectly.

"And look at those tiny fingernails," Brendon said. "God, babies are, like, cute enough to eat."

Dru and Bden gonna eat bbys together?

Pete laughed, pulling Ryan closer and then pulling him down for a kiss.

D’awhhh cause Pete is so damn short

I LOVED THIS DRU. Like so much. I cannot wait until the sequel.

The characterization here is, of course, wonderful. I love the interactions between Ryan and Spencer, and how they argue a lot but in a jokey way; I can really see the bond between them and see how strong the friendship is. Espessially the Spencer, for his part, only complained for about five minutes about unloading a car of groceries by himself. and the 'testicular fortitude' bits, they made me laugh. Though having Spencer running round doing everything for Ryan without complaining seems a little off; it seems unlikely to me that someone would willingly be ordered about by one of their friends. (Then again, I don't know any pregnant people.)

Ryan's character in chapter four seems extremely real. Like, the way he acts stubborn about not calling Pete, and that he has to drive over to talk to him instead of ringing, and how he continues being stubborn even when going into labour. His interactions with Spencer (and with Pete in earlier chapters) seem very natural, and I like how Ryan seems very unsure about the marriage throughout the whole story, and how he and Pete are both trying to find their feet. To be honest though, I'm not really a big fan of Ryan's sudden admittence of his feelings about Pete to Spencer. I don't know, I'm just not really a fan of people stating their emotions in stories. But I liked his internal quesions beforehand, they worked really well for his character, I just personally don't think you needed him to say it as his questions kinda led me to guess. (I did, however, like how Spencer was like "Yeah, I know.")

Pete come up from the airport
Did you mean 'come up from the basement'?

The ending was very sweet. It's clear that you've done your reseach about pregnancies, and I like how you detailed the technical stuff (such as the form-filling and keeping the room sterilized, and stuff about how the baby might get infections in the first year) without it getting boring; it flowed really well. And I really love the interations between Pete and Ryan at the end.

In that moment, Ryan thought maybe he was beginning to understand what being married meant.
Sappy, but a wonderful ending, it fits so well. (I'm a fangirl for well-written sap.)

So yeah, I'm looking forward to the epilouge as it'd be interesting to see how you conclude this fab story, and I'm really looking forward to the sequel (I've subcribed already).

I am not at all an M-Preg fan but this story is delightful, Dru.

As Cursed333 said, I'm also not much of an m-preg fan, but you DO pull it off so well! I love how much Ryan talks to the baby.

I'm terrible at giving comments but I'm going to try my best because I got your story on the comment swap page. I love getting your stories because I love every single thing you write. I'm not usually a fan of M-preg but you pull it off so well. It makes it seem realistic. I like that you capture their flaws as well as everything that's good about them. You make them seem like actual people. You make it so I can get into their heads and really get into the story. Everything as always flows well and is amazing <3

Summary:
It scared me, to be honest. This critique may be a little biased but it did. There's only one case I've ever heard of where a guy was pregnant and biologically, he was actually a female.

And I wonder what quote that came from in the contest Darker than Disney (too lazy to look)

It's cook how you have a list of songs that could be read while reading. Although it's not my line of music, I know it is for most people on this site.

[on a personal note] you must really love Panic! at the Disco because seriously... anyway...

Layout:
I don't know how you pull off such nice layouts. You must know a thing or two about art because the color schemes in a lot of your stories are just, on point. I would get more into it but I might scare you with my artistic knowledge.

Chapter 2:
Well, I guess it would help that I read chapter one (I only read the beginning) because I'm kind of confused. Just to let you know, this chapter is extremely long and it might have scared a lot of people away which probably caused the story thread thing to temporarily die. Just a little help for the future.

Where does it take place, California? I haven't been on my news a lot lately (hardly at all) but the only place I know of that has gay marriage close to legal is Cali. Maybe I'm behind a whole lot and unaware of other places where it's legal.

Just asking, are the people in Panic! at the Disco really gay?

One thing I've noticed about some of your stories is that it doesn't really seem to cover anything dealing with them actually producing any form of music in them. Perhaps you should put a hint of that in there from time to time. The only thing I remember it being in is Confusion is the Strongest Emotion.

Damn fanfiction and horny teenage girls.
Hahahaha. That's exactly what you're doing minus the teenage girl part.

The boy was already working on it though. "I appreciate all your kind thoughts, but respectfully request that you allow me and Pete our privacy during this time. Any information that I wish to share will be given through the appropriate channels. I am an extremely private person and do not like to disclose the details of my personal life which is why I did not release a statement before."

That part sounds a little too formal. I don't know many people of the age of nineteen who talk like that. Just remember, we write different from how we speak.

Okay, I'm about to skim through because I know I won't finish this in 2 hours.

Okay, I really want to know how the hell they happened to have a kid. It sounds scientifically impossible.

Pete could tell by the way body's Ryan tensed up that he wasn't too keen on that idea.

Just a little typo right here.

Skimming some more. This is really long.

You know, sometimes when I read your stories, I often find it that Ryan seems to be completely losing his masculinity and he's starting to sounds like a girl to me. I don't know if that's your intention but, I keep imagining a female while reading this. especially because of how much he cries. I don't even know of gay guys that cry that much.

I don't know how old they are but when I'm reading this, they sound like teenagers and not adults. But like I said, I don't know how old they are.

skimming....

"I'm so fat," the boy whispered pitifully. "Why couldn't they have met me when I was skinny?"

He really sounds like a woman right here.

Do guys even have a uterus? How can a baby form? Is Ryan trans-gender? Where did the ovary (egg) come from? And how could Pete's sperm fertilize the egg? This is really getting to me.

Closing:
I don't know. I skimmed through most of it. Perhaps I missed something in the first chapter that answers all of my questions. Since the story seems to be mostly about Ryan's pregnancy, I kind of skimmed through most of it because it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I know this is a fiction but I think it bends the rules of a fiction too much unless this is a fantasy or something because that's almost what it sounds like. It's kind of scientifically impossible for a man to bare a child unless he's trans-gender which biologically doesn't make him a man. And I guess this can be a little biased because it's a little aggravating to me that it's so unrealistically possible, but story wise (disregarding the plot) it's really well written, but I've already told you that you write well before.

Well, well, well, we meet again! xD An m-preg this time? Hmm, interesting. And in Vegas too! The summary definitely pulled me in, even though this truly isn't what I read. Anyways. the first chapter is really well written. I loved how strange the whole thing was; this is the first time I've read an m-preg before, however, it sounded realistic enough to me? I dunno, its sounds confusing to me and it probably is and okay, I'll stop because I'm starting to ramble, haha x] ANYWAYS. Your stories are so character driven that it's easy to get into it and not realize all of the funky situations that they're in. Seriously, girl, you're a freakin' genius and if by next year, I don't see you in the bookstores, signing autographs, someone is going to die a horrible painful death. Your fanfics - and your originals, if you have any - should be published. Now. RIGHT NOW! :D
But yeah, this was amazing. Really. So bizarre, but I do love it. Very lovely job (:

Oliver <3
-squee-

I really liked this chapter a lot. I liked that it dealt with so much, the papparrazzi and Pete's parents. Most people would just make this into four or five chapters and everything would have seemed so choppy. I really liked that this chapter kind of looked at everyone's flaws, like the first chapter was them still getting used to the whole idea and then in this one, Ryan and Pete really got to know each other and they weren't just exposed to each other's strengths but you showed their weaknesses too. And even though they each had something dragging them down, they can each see past those things and learn to love each other. Or at least, Ryan can learn to love Pete.

I really loved it when Pete's parents came over. It was so strange, like I hadn't even thought about them having to meet each others parents either because it was like I was thrown into their situation too and everything was just happening so fast and I wasn't given the time to think about anything either. It just sort of brought me back to reality too which was just weird because I hadn't even been aware that I had overlooked something so simple as meeting your husband's parents. I think it's because all your stories are so character driven that this almost isn't a story about the pregnancy, it's really about ryan and pete's ways of dealing with things and learning how to rely on each other. If this was cometely plot driven, meeting the parents probably would have been hinted at since the beginning. I just love that this is more about the characters because that's really what I like to read. I'm more interested in how people react to things, not so much what's gonna happen next, you know?

Anyway, this is great. I can't wait for the next update.

Your thoughts on mpreg are so well thought out and explained in that side tidbit, I don't find it strange at all when I read your works. Then Pete and Ryan's relationships, the struggles, you have obviously thought this out and I was so happy that as soon as they found out about the baby it wasn't all, "I love you so much, I always have, yadda yadda". That stuff is always so unrealistic and your approach makes this whole idea so plausible...

I'm in love with this story, just so you know.

This is for sure the first m-preg i've ever read. i'm gonna go read your journal about itjust to check it out but not because everything in this story doesn't seem plausible, just because i want to see your take on it. that's what was really great about this, i didn't even read the journal explaining this before i dove into the story but everything seemed real and it was just like female pregnancy, it had the same feel so it just felt right. you didn't go into any explanation about how this was happening, which is amazing because you could get realy bogged down with all the technical stuff, but it was just like, yep, i'm in a universe where men can get pregnant, just like women and it's no big deal. which was really cool and really weird at the same time.

i really like tha you didn't really get into the wole Pete/Patrick and Ryan/Brendon thing very much. i loved that you mentioned that ryan and brendon had tried to be together but it just hadn't worked because at least for me cos i'm a true believer in ryden hehehe that, even though you said that fleetingly, it actually means a lot that that isn't where ryan's life went and that he does want to be with pete and just hasn't quite caught that yet.

i've read about a handful of stories about pete wentz but i'm really intrigued by him already. he's so three dimensional, it's crazy. it's like, sometimes, he just seems so genuine and normal and then you have to remember he's basically a slave to medication and insomnia and marijuana or whatever. he's just such a person, he's not a character, he's not even pete wentz, he's just someone, someone that could feel things the exact same way i do.

this is really good, i'm glad you decided to post it this way because it would have taken forever for me to go through three chapters that long and you pretty much would have never gotten your comment. sorry i took so long to get to this hahaha. but i'm really glad i did, this was great! and i'll be able to read the next chapter as soon as you write it cos ive got some time off from uni.

I really enjoyed the fact that this is different, not Brendon/Ryan like it usually is. Because it definitely gives you a chance to show us what you think of Pete. And how you think he would act or react to this type of situation. He is nothing like Brendon in any way.

What really struck me is the way that you capture their flaws more than anything else. In other stories on this site, the characters tend to have so little flaws. They are almost unrealistic. I sometimes forget the humans do have flaws. Until I come back to your stories and realize that the characters make the same mistakes that any humans make. Pete has a sleeping disorder, just like other people in the world. He is not always sweet, and he does not always tell the truth.

I think your stories have really changed my way of viewing people and realizing that people are not always perfect. And that some people get angry. But that is all beside the point. That is more of a general fact about all of your stories.

The layout and banner are both lovely, just like always.

It's very rare to find a story where two boys are actually married, instead of engaged or just going out. I think that you really portrayed the two boys' marriage. You didn't make it seem like they are going to get a divorce, or as if they get along perfectly. You portray it as a marriage. Nothing more and nothing less. Both of them have their ups and downs when they think that they may have made a mistake. I completely adore the fact that they finally gain the courage to talk to each other about it. They even feel awkward when using the term husband. One little tweak that makes the story so much better, because you can sense how they must feel in the situation.

Pete is such a sweet, shy character. And I completely fell in love with him. He's not this rowdy guy that I would expect. I love how he stutters and has those little imperfections. He doesn't seem to know how to talk, just like how Ryan doesn't know how to word things. It's so right that they are similar to each other.

I think it's also fantastic that Pete is so supportive. I bet that they would both make wonderful daddies. I can't wait to see what is going to happen to the two boys and the baby. Does the baby have a name?

This is for the comment swap.

I really like this. Beautifully written and really long but there is nothing wrong with that.
First M-preg I have ever read and I like how you explains how that works.
good job. :)