Gunshot - Comments

I really liked this even if I do not watch Supernatural. I adored the description in the beginning of the drabble/ one-shot; with the amount of description you put into it, I could really understand how dedicated Dean was in killing the monster or whatever he wanted to kill. I was totally convinced that he was going to kill the monster and I was surprised that is was only a dream. Anyway, this was a wonderful drabble/ one-shot.

First of all, let me point out that I love that story layout! I've seen some pretty unique ones but just the colors and simplicity of the one you used appealed to me. The wavy lines reminded me of a heartbeat as odd as that may sound. They flow perfectly with the mood of the story too. I can only imagine how fast Dean's heart must have been pounding until he woke up. Fighting unseen demon's while he slept, interesting and quite a twist.

When I first saw the title the first thing that popped into mind was suicide or an attempted one. Don't know why, but it did. When I read that he was holding it steadily in front of him I thought of murder. I don't know much about Supernatural so if all of this seems a bit weird at least you know why. It makes the story more fascinating for me since I don't know anything about it, more so than if I actually knew.

I will admit that from the start I found my own heart pounding, odd for me, because I didn't know what to expect. I had to force myself to read slowly instead of following the instinct to race right through it. My mind and heart take on a life of their own and flow along with the pace of the story. It must have been a letdown to wake up after pulling the trigger. He finds his target and eliminates it only to wake up and realize it hadn't happened. I was surprised that his brother was indeed alive though, I half expected the dream to be part of a memory.

The details made me feel as if I was with him, maybe standing behind and watching. I like that it's a good thing to have in a story. This was great and if it had more chapters and wasn't just a short story I would probably continue with it. Well done.

At the beginning, all those two worded descriptions would flow better with commas, though I understand the effect you're going for. Actually the total lack of commas throughout the story baffles me, and a lot of the paragraphs would flow more smoothly had you included them.

This was great though, and you captured both Sam and Dean's essences quite nicely.

Ugh, dude. Dean. I imagined him and his sexiness and I wanted to hump. That man does incredibly naughty things to my brain. I totally though that this was going to be smuttily delicious though. Damn you. :)

Oh, typo! You’re chocking me!” it's choking.