Look Behind Her Smile - Comments

Thanks Jess Babe! *snugs* It wasn't too short was it? I tried to get it a bit longer cause I have some ideas for it such not many

Nice! I like!

Exactly! Perfectly put!

You're welcome. :D
That's always the best to go. You leave enough leash but not enough to get anywhere. lol

Thanks Jess Babe! I thought i did good Some detail, not a lot to give it away but not so little people wonder :)

Oh snap! Nice update hun!

Oh!! I have 4 pages of comments now!! Yay!

haha I am too! Now to figure out how to correctly word Charles in and include a interesting scene between him and Harley. o.O I CAN DO IT!!

Yes, school is super evil! I don't want it to take up soo much time but it does :(

lol Great update hun. I'm happy you finally got it out. XD But school does do that.

XD thanks!

I wanted to add some drama to their life, couldn't help myself lol. So I didn't have room to add my other character...he'll go in the next one lol

Yw. Nice update hun. His mom is a brat in the beginning. XD Loved it.

thanks Jess!

Another one will be out eventually...depends on how much I can get done. Maybe a chapter for the New Year? lol. I'll probably have a chapter out before then.

I liked the update hun.

I'll totally proofread better from now on, thank you again for commenting!

I read Not You Again. I know things don't necessarily make sense, and I don't know the rest of the story, but I did what I could to gauge your writing.
------------
To explain the chapter, it was a 'set up' for Alexa to find out what the Slayers were up to. It will be explained later on actually. It's against the Vamp laws for Slayers to have info on vampires, hunting is okay. But for tracking them by keeping personal tabs violates their laws.

DID^ stupid buttons.

I wanted to add thank you for commenting! I haven't had someone comment on the clothes yet..but that was interesting. Thank you :) I have a thing about adding photos for my characters with their clothes. I like to see which character it is and what would look good in the scene.

I didn't mean 'jaw' totally messed up about that. Comma's are my bane, I'm working on using them better and such. I usually do proofread, but I don't think I did it for that chapter sadly. If I remember correctly, I was in a hurry and didn't get the time to proof read it.

I read Not You Again. I know things don't necessarily make sense, and I don't know the rest of the story, but I did what I could to gauge your writing. (Things are crazy during Finals, so I'm picking at one chapter for now.) I noticed that you have a lot of comma misuses, which creates confusion in the writing. Here's an example:

Your Version::

"Tell me where he is" the slayer demanded before punching me in the jar. I calmed myself before looking at him, don't be the monster they expect you to be.

Mine::

"Tell me where he is!" the slayer demanded, before punching me in the jaw. I calmed myself before looking at him. Don't be the monster they expect you to be.

-------

I assume you meant 'jaw' =] Do you usually proofread? I looked at the outfit as well- it's appropriate, though not my taste. I liked the top a lot, the simplicity of it, and the pictures of the character as well. They were fitting. Mostly the commas for you- they'll make a world of difference!

No, your completely fine. Didn't know that but it is fixed now :D

THANK YOU SOO MUCH JESS BABE!!!

Good I was worried but i hoped it made sense for my readers :)