Forever Praying - Comments

Ah! I love it! Prince Caspian was especially one of my fav men ;) I couldn't find a good story of him, but look, here is one!

The prologue made me shiver and smile. Also, I loved how the next chapter was longer and had so much stunning detail.

Subs! :)

Can't wait to find out what happens! BTW do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Couldn't help but notice the girl in your banner haha.

Firstly, I saw the banner and bam you had me. I could tell this was set back in the time of skullerys and such, which excited me.

You use a lot of description, but in a good way. I love how you tell me what's going on, but don't make me want to skip a few sentences here and there. I was glued, I wanted to know everything. I also really enjoy the characters personalities. They're believable and realistic. You've got a way with words.

You should continue because this will go places.

Lovely writing. I absolutely adore The Chronicles of Narnia, and Prince Caspian. I love the way everything is laid out, especially the first chapter. Hehehe, because I did the beta. ;)

The second chapter was confusing though. Only because it went to the past, and there was no indication beforehand that it the story would head in that direction. I like that you did it, though. There needed to be a flashback to explain everything. But maybe you should write at the top in big letters 'flashback'.

Despite that, I love everything. Your layout is beautiful. (:

You had me at the picture of Caspian... Now that I've read your beautiful writing... I'm hooked.
Suddenly, she felt arms snake around her waist and a chin placed itself gently on her shoulder.
I think I can say that, that is the line that had me hooked. Any good story has that line or something like it in there. I have commented and working my way up to the subscribe when this is posted! Amazing! Keep up the excellent work!

You write very well, it flows and you describe the setting beautifully.
Also I really like you layout, its soft and doesn't distract from your writing. Good work! :)

First off, this is a beautiful setting:

The young woman stared up at the moon and the stars, watching how the sea reflected them perfectly. Everything was so calm, there was no wind and no sound to interrupt the serenity of this evening. A small wave crashed into a rock, disrupting the quiet.

I personally prefer to describe each aspect of a scene -such as the lack of wind or sound- so as to give the impression of serenity, rather than just telling the reader that the setting is serene, but I like the idea of this paragraph.

I also like how the second paragraph gives away details, but not too many. This is clearly designed to lure readers in, and I think it's working! Some of your other lines are also very well-constructed, like this one:

Suddenly, she felt arms snake around her waist and a chin placed itself gently on her shoulder.

You certainly have the ability to write very well, and I found that this was smooth and easy to read overall. I didn't spot any errors, either.

Well done!

This is so, so pretty!

I don't think I've ever described writing as being "pretty" before, but this is certainly it! All your descriptioms are simply gorgeous. Everything about them is amazing - the flow, the creativity, the placement, it's all just wonderful!

I, like young lungs. particularly adored the little kiss scene at the end. It's simple, but so, so romantic. The night sky is often the epitome of romance, isn't it? You use it to great effect, creating such a beautiful image of both Candide and Caspian entwined together.

I love it!

Firstly, I'd love to say the layout is gorgeous.
Secondly, I would love to say how beautifully talented you are. The kiss at the end.
He slowly trailed his thumb across her cheek, removing a tear and a whimper from her soft lips. He then kissed her softly with the audience of the moon and stars.
Was amazingly written.
Keep up with the amazing work && I wish you the best of luck.

So good! Very descriptive and very simple.

It's beautifully written and the layout is lovely too :-) I my heart is now feeling very warm after reading that. I hope you win the contest you've entered this into, its really sweet, cute, and I'm surprised this doesn't have so many more comments saying the same thing... I'm speechless about that...