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Bomb Shell from the Past - Comments

  • ad1919

    ad1919 (100)

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    FANTASTIC!
    December 4th, 2014 at 01:55am
  • ad1919

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    FANTASTIC!
    December 4th, 2014 at 01:55am
  • Bambi Ray

    Bambi Ray (100)

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    I'll try working on it next week. My course load is heavy this semester. Thank you for your encouragement Mr. Green
    September 10th, 2014 at 04:24am
  • ad1919

    ad1919 (100)

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    Please update soon :)
    September 9th, 2014 at 10:24pm
  • ad1919

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    excellent!
    August 15th, 2014 at 10:36pm
  • ad1919

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    excellent!
    August 15th, 2014 at 10:36pm
  • ad1919

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    !!!!!
    July 31st, 2014 at 12:05am
  • ad1919

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    !!!!!
    July 31st, 2014 at 12:04am
  • InactiveUser90

    InactiveUser90 (100)

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    Update??? Mr. Green
    July 3rd, 2014 at 06:43pm
  • Bambi Ray

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    @ Lily Malfoy
    Thank you! I will say that Gloria isn't going to come out and just say it. Everyone else will know before Sergio. I'm evil I know lol.
    June 25th, 2014 at 02:21pm
  • Lily Malfoy

    Lily Malfoy (100)

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    So good keep updating!!!! I can't wait till she tells Sergio about Emilio.
    June 25th, 2014 at 06:50am
  • Lily Malfoy

    Lily Malfoy (100)

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    So good keep updating!!!! I can't wait till she tells Sergio about Emilio.
    June 25th, 2014 at 06:50am
  • Bambi Ray

    Bambi Ray (100)

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    @ ad1919
    Lol . You're welcome Mr. Green
    June 20th, 2014 at 12:05am
  • ad1919

    ad1919 (100)

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    yes!
    June 19th, 2014 at 09:54pm
  • Bambi Ray

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    @ ad1919
    I try Smile
    May 14th, 2014 at 05:28pm
  • ad1919

    ad1919 (100)

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    excellent! two updates - spoiling us!
    May 14th, 2014 at 08:54am
  • Bambi Ray

    Bambi Ray (100)

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    @ ad1919
    Oh Thank you! I try Mr. Green
    April 12th, 2014 at 07:54pm
  • ad1919

    ad1919 (100)

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    amazing!
    April 12th, 2014 at 05:14pm
  • Twiggy.

    Twiggy. (105)

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    Finally getting around to commenting again, as I promised!

    This is a very sexy story, aha! I love all the outfit details; Gloria (and you obviously) have very good taste. I like Gloria for a few other reasons than her style though. Its like, she's around all these hot football players, but is able to keep her head on and not get all flustered and carried away. She's sophisticated and classy. I really like how you've developed her as a character.

    I also like that you include the culture of Spain in this story, mentioning things distinct to that country. It makes the story that much more believable.

    The only thing I want to point out is just what I pointed out before: to break up the dialogue and sections of description. A lot of it is clumped into one long paragraph and it gets a little confusing sometimes. That's all though! :) xx
    February 13th, 2014 at 04:05am
  • Twiggy.

    Twiggy. (105)

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    *Comment swap*

    I've just had two sport fics in a row, aha. I'm not good with sport stories. Anyway, this is well written. The only thing I would suggest is to break up the dialogue, so its not all clumped into one paragraph. Other than that, I think you have an interesting plot development and characters. I liked the little retro touch to it in the second chapter; I always tend to associate sports with boys, which is why I'm wary of reading sport fics, but this one is good :) it has girly touches to it, haha. Also, the art stuff, like her photography. So I can relate to Gloria in some way.

    Anyway, great story! xx
    February 6th, 2014 at 12:39am
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