Wings of Love - Comments

Or, alternatively, as I have just realised that this first chapter might be set in modern times, you could clear that up. The statue thing kinda had me thinking ancient times, so some details like I described above, but relating to the modern world, might also be useful.

I think this is good, honestly, and it's a welcome change from the usual things I see on Mibba. There are only a few things I would really suggest changing.

Firstly, you could probably push some of the lines at the beginning together into one paragraph. This is a subjective thing, but I just think it would flow better.

Secondly, I think fleshing out the first chapter a bit could really immerse the reader in the setting. You're writing something classical and fanciful here, from what I can tell, and it'd be good to get a sense of that. You don't want to rely on your summary to tell us in which era this is happening. Give us clues- talk a little bit about what people are wearing, or what the other furnishings in the room look like. Maybe when you mention her mother dying, you could talk about how this death (what did she die from?) differs from deaths today. Is there a special burial practice? Or, when you have her remembering her childhood, pull up some colourful details then. I'm not sure whether icecream was something they really had back then, so maybe you could explain this a little more by talking about what kind of icecream it was, and where it came from.

Overall though, I think you've done a good job. This was very clear and easy to read.