Glitter in the Snow - Comments

Similar to the comment below mine (or maybe it's the first one, I'll be d'd if I know how this website works anymore), the way the story is told, the voice of the character took a breaking the fourth wall sort of first person. It reminded me of Lizzy McGuier where her tiny cartoon self would pop in with mental drama and then we'd get back to the action at hand. It creates a cozy relationship between the reader and the voice of the narrative which is very different than the majority of attempts I've read at achieving this. Furthermore I'm super psyched that this story actually had a beginning, middle, and end. I especially love that the motivation for writing was explained. (Not your motivation, but...i digress). A lot of the time I feel like I am dropped into stories with no sense of direction and that I've been dropped in at just the right time and place (what else would a story be I guess). Either way, I'm commenting to say good job. What you wrote, how you wrote worked well for you and I wish you the best of luck in the future.

Sorry for any rambling.

This was really amazing. I felt like I was one of Nat's friend's listening to her tell me a story.

This is it? Noooooooooooooooo
I feel like I just got to know Natalie & Felix, and suddenly it's all over :(.
Well all good things must come to an end, and I guess great things come to an end even faster. This was a truly amazing story and you're a truly amazing writer. Keep it up & I hope to stumble upon something else of yours in the future :)

Oh my god. You need to update soon.!!! I love the tension and Padric is a jealous douche! I can't believe him. Poor Felix and this whole thing is a misunderstanding. :( this story is so good.

Oh my god. You need to update soon.!!! I love the tension and Padric is a jealous douche! I can't believe him. Poor Felix and this whole thing is a misunderstanding. :( this story is so good.

Okay I can't remember how I stumbled upon this but I'm so glad that I did!
I absolutely love your writing style and Natalie's character seems real to me 'cause she goes off on tangents alot and tells the story in such a way... it's very refreshing.
I'm loving the plot and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Update soon!<3

[comment swap]
can i just say that this is one of the best original fictions i have had the pleasure to read? seriously, i'm hugely impressed with this story and i think you should be very proud of it!

within reading the first few paragraphs, i fell in love with your leading lady. natalie is just something else, and i mean that in the best possible way! i adore her, she's such a vibrant character filled with personality and colour and hilarious wit, something that i find lacks in some stories. her narration is wonderful, it flows brilliantly and i feel as though i'm being told this story as if she were sitting right beside me having a chat.

and felix, wow, i love him. he's definitely not what i expected. i was thinking that this would be along the lines of the generic high school romance but you proved me wrong, so very wrong, and i'm thankful! you've created a handful of characters that all have distinct personalities and you showcase this through their behaviour and reactions to certain things. you have a way of bringing them all to life which is essential in a good writer. the story line itself also left me surprised, in a good way! i absolutely adore how felix and natalie's relationship is progressing, that slow build and lovely friendship is just wonderful.

there's something about this story that's so raw and fresh and i love it. the scene with natalie getting upset over her father leaving her nan to move back with her was absolutely moving. i felt her confusion and her struggle to understand, i could feel her emotions and see things from her point of view despite having a different opinion. i think you've got a good thing going on here and this story is most definitely going places!

Comment swap~

Wow. I've only read the first chapter the entire first paragraph caught my attention and I could relate to it so well. The layout is simple and matches the story very well. The narrator is probably the best thing about this story. And I didn't spot any mistakes, good job!

Here from the Comment Swap! I love this! Your narrator is pitch perfect. I loved her from the first paragraph. Its always so refreshing to get a real voice on here and not some teenage girl projecting her ideal, impossibly perfect, dream version of herself onto her heroine. I am subscribing for sure! Keep being awesome!

Reading this again is like it's brand new. Where's the next chapter!? Lol your jokes are so much fun.

And I want to see her mom in this story!! Demand demand demand!!

Oh my gosh. This is too cute. And every time the narrator comes back to us to be patient I'm totally caught!

I want apple pie too, but I don't want to do math. I'll just read you're story instead.

This is simply amazing, I'm recommending and subscribing and eating it. I can't eat it. Sorry, I just like apple pie and your wit. :D

This is adorable! Please say you're writing more! :)

I'm so glad I had your story for comment swap. I think this shouldn't be a Mibba story, this should be a best-seller! I love this so much! I love the way you write, and describe things, and the plot seems realistic and sweet. I hope you update soon!

~From Comment Swap:

This is a super cute story. I love the layout: simple but very cute and it goes well with the story. Also, it's easy to read, which is always a bonus with custom layouts.

I like the conversational, easy flow of the story like Natalie really is just talking to a friend. It's very chatty and easy to read. These things can come off as pretty artificial a lot, but you managed to do it well.

I really like Felix and Natalie's teasing and flirting. It's such cute and playful banter.

This is so good. I love the layout, it's simplistic but it fits, and it's easy on the eyes. Also, the way Natalie thinks reminds me a lot of myself. I go off on random tangents all the time. You describe everything so well. I also really like how you've written it so that Natalie is telling the story directly to me as a reader. It's cool. This is such a sweet story, and I can't wait to read more. You ARE writing more, right? Please? <3

The layout is amazing and the so is the story!.I love how you wrote it, it's so different than how others stories are told. I can't wait for more!

I love this story!
It's amazing.....And Natalie is great! Some of her random mental rants remind me of the things my best friend and I end up talking about.....Anyways...'I digress' (lame quote I know)
Keep writing I don't mind waiting for your chapters as long as they stay this good.
<3

Yay for a new chapter!! :D
Another awesome one!
Woot!
Gotta keep writing now! No more excuses! D:
Or Ima have to slap you ;)
Muahahah!!

the layout is adorable, that picture is so freaking cute. <3
i love how blunt natalie is, how there's no pretense, and no corny "there were butterflies having a mosh in my stomach when we touched" kind of thing, and that none of it was exaggerated- stuff like that annoys the crap out of me :D this is exactly the un-clichéd thing i've been looking for :') <3

The layout is really cute, especially the little "You love me, I love you" picture. I'm so glad you can match pinks; it's a pet peeve.

I love how blunt the narrator is right off the bat, and how she continues to be like this throughout the rest of the first chapter. I also like that her relationship with Felix is pre-established, because you don't see a lot of that on Mibba.

I thought it was cute how she pointed out to herself that she was digressing the first few times, but right before she started talking about the first day of school, her noticing was less subtle than before and I don't think it worked as well because of that reason.

I love her embarrassing mom, because parent-child relationships in stories are often exaggerated as being one extreme or the other. A bragging, proud parent is pretty normal, though.

Padric seems like a sweetheart too (: I love his marshmallow challenge.

I enjoyed the way she paused to explain that she does indeed have friends and then smoothly glided back into the story. The blatant break, then smooth reconnection flowed nicely.

I like the way that Natalie sounds very confident and in control when she's just talkig to the reader, but whenever she's actually interacting around people, she's a little more awkward and nervous, but not so much that it's out of character for her. It's something that is easy to relate to.

I love the teacher in chapter two that reminds Natalie of Professor McGonagall.

I also think that it's nice that you decided to take your time with the Felix-Natalie relationship and mention the two weeks in which they didn't interact. It keeps the story feelings realistic.

He had the kind of romantic hero thing going for him that was generally type casted into that role.

That was just a fancy way of admitting that he was very, very easy on the eyes. I love sentences like this because they reveal a playful aspect of Natalie's character, kind of cheesy and endearing.

I loved the little banter between Natalie and Felix later in the chapter, although Felix had a tendency to sound a little feminine. But still, their playful, light relationship is nice. I'm eager to see how it evolves in later chapters and how any kind of drama is going to plague these two easy going people.

It's a great start(: