Bitch - Comments

I love the layout :D

This made me laugh

When she said
I know you are so what am i,
I cracked up laughing,
I used to say this as a child.

Excellent work lol

I think you should continue it :D

xxx

Before I start, I would like to just tell you that this will be short and quick due to the fact that I must judge all the other entries. I'll be able to give you a full review on your next entries.

My god, girl, you must be really popular or something! You got a lot of points to be added for comments. x D

8 out of 10 points for Originality.
I had expected at least a couple of something like this for 'it takes one to know one', but you did a fair job of keeping it tolerable.

5 out of 5 points for Quality

15 out of 15 points for Prompt

8 out of 10 points for Capturing Attention
My attention was caught, but a bit hard to keep since I had a faint idea of how the story would end.

10 out of 10 points for Spelling, Vocab, etc.

Total Points: 46 points plus 2 extra for word count = 48 points
(I'll add the comment points as I post the round one scores.

I loved the this, as well as the picture :) Some come back reminded me of childhood days, and the mention of Mean Girls makes me want to go watch that movie. I also love how you put that it was based off from a true story at the end. Really caught my attention.

Judging for the “So You Think You Can Write” Story Contest:

Note: Let me just say before I judge, you have *SOOOO MANY* comments! How did you get so many?? xD

7/10 for Originality
This is what I was expecting from everyone when the prompt, “It takes one to know one” appeared. Not very original…sorry. :(

5/5 for Quality
Great quality…great drabble. :)

15/15 for Incorporating Prompt
Very good job… :)

9/10 for Capturing My Attention
Although I was expecting this from everyone, it still does capture my attention. :)

10/10 for Vocab/Grammar/Spelling
I didn’t catch any mistakes. :)

Total: 46 points from Moonlit.Memories for Round One. (I’m not going to add comment points because I’m not sure how aquarius wants to do that… :D )

I like the picture. :)

flannel that she had [barrowed] from Marco – might want to fix that.

I find myself looking for more. It seems like there’s not enough closure here for a one-shot, but if this were continued and explained a little more, I think it would turn out better.

But in terms of expressing emotions, like anger but still wanting to look poised, I think this story did alright.

This is good. Very intense, I love it

The layout is very nice, it goes well together. :D

I'll start off with the criticism first, I only just spotted one mistake.
You said: Her short shorts and flannel that she had barrowed from Marco let everyone in PV know that she lived in the ghetto.
It's not barrowed, it's borrowed.
:)

But I like the childish comebacks that they shoot at each other, it's realistic because I'm pretty sure a lot of people have been rendered to using childish comebacks when they can't think of anything to say, besides a long string of curse words. :)

Huh, I have to say that it seems childish and that's what makes it so real. You have these two girls fighting and one who knows she's wrong just decides to go with a way that usually wins and in this case the other girl seems to know it doesn't. I also like the contrast between the two girls, very nice.

Wow , That was good (: How did you get tht photo there?

I don't usually like one shots, but this one was good! :)

Oh, wow. They're both extreme bitches. I mean, I think I'm exaggerating a bit, but their conversation... the argument going back and forth. It was all so childish of them both. I'm also very childish when I want to be, it's insane, the difference between the witch in me and the writer in me. So I can relate to this somewhat. I actually like relating to these sort of stories, with a point to them. I got the feeling that even though they were fighting over this boy, that that didn't severe their friendship. It only showed me how strong both of their personalities were. In fact, it showed me even though their personalities may be strong, they're still just kids. I may be wrong. I'm just telling you how I feel about this story, which I enjoyed reading. c:

Pardon me if this didn't help at all, or it gave you the impression that I didn't enjoy reading your story. I really did. My favorite was...hm. Who was the one that said "It takes one to know one"...? Oh, that's right, Luna. It was Cassie. c: I liked her the most for some reason. I also didn't find any grammatical errors, and the writing style was just fine.

Good job! :D

-Luna

I like your layout.And your story

I'm not quite fond of the background image used as a layout; the banner is really nice and it fits the plot of the story, but the background part hurts my eyes a little.

Anyways, the story was well executed, no grammatical errors to be found whatsoever, and I liked the dialogue between the characters. I wish there had been more of an exchange between them, rather than the description of the characters, but suppose it is important to delve a little bit into descriptions in order to gain some background of what's the situation at hand and who these two people are.

At first, I was like 0_o because the characters were yelling at one another and I didn't really know what was going on. It was just, weird. XD But, as I read more of this funny story, I just laughed.

"It was as if “Mean Girls” had come to life."
^ OMG, I <3 Mean Girls XD lol

As Otto Dix said, the two girls seemed young. Like little six-year-olds. XD

I honestly loved this story! I can't wait to read more of your drabbles for this contest! <3

Write quickly! <3

Hispanic doesn't need to be capitalized, however Native American does.

I seriously do not know why, but those are the very weird rules of the English language.

You have quite the eye for aesthetics. I love the layout and the picture is very intriguing. Beautiful job, as far as that goes.

Your portrayal for the two girls was a little bit childish. The girls seem to be six years-old again, and that transition of age must've been somehow brought on by their steamed argument. I really like how you show their naivety through silly backtalks like "I know you are, but what am I?" I think you did a beautiful job there.

A really liked this story, and I look forward to reading more of them. Well done.

Ryan

Oh Lord! I love this!!!!
I love how you can the two contrasting subcultures in their: The rich, the pretty, and then the ghetto.
Most authors are biased towards one character, and you can usually tell which one that is, but I like how it seemed like you weren't for or against either or them. You managed to slip little pros and cons in their for both of them!
Well done! And thank you for the comment on my story! <3 Totally didn't mean to make Edward Like that :P He's the character of my frien Will, who's middle name is Edward.

The layout was a little bright what with the aqua and the white, but it had a nice effect (I can't quite describe it, but I like it)
Though I don't see cold colour blue it fitting in with a fiery argument.

Ah, the teenage girl bitch-fight. I am so glad I have never been involved in one.
I'm curious as to what started this off.

A little bit of description in certain places wouldn't hurt to bring the girl's argumet to life, (Such as, when Breanne speaks for the first time "Breanne laughed bitterly," (or however she laughed) might give the readers a little more feel.) but nonetheless, you did a good job of putting the fire into their argument.

And "I know you are, but what am I?" Seriously? How old is Cassie?
It's an amusing, well written little one-shot, and it'd be nice to see it continued.

This is really good!
I agree with Painter's Dream: I will punch them both and end they're fight!
I was laughing so hard when Cassie said "I know what you are but what am I?"
They're acting like such children yet cursing the hell out of each other!
I can definetly picture this fight going on in Mean Girls when everyone was fighting in the hallway.
So yeah, this was awesome! : )

I think the layout was gorgeous and matched with the banner. Though I have to agree with asking alex, I don't really think it matched with the plot.
I could feel the anger coming out and its your typical butch fight xD
They both seem annoying bitches and I would be glad to knock their lights out aha. Though it was short, it clearly did its job on showing the anger. The line "It takes on to know on" made me laugh.

Overall, it was amazing <3

This was very intense and I found my eyes flying across the words, trying to soak them all in at once. The rage and anger was certainly present through-out the whole thing and I felt my own anger spike a bit. They both seem like bitches, not going to lie. Aha. Anyway, the way you constructed this and your characters is marvelous. It all came to life and I could see everything clearly. It's the typical high school girl fight and I love it. You made it perfect. But the layout didn't really seem to match the mood at all, you know? Blue makes me think of sorrow or serenity. Red makes me think angry, urgent, all in your face, you know? Oh well. It doesn't distract from the pure genius of this, so I guess it doesn't matter, as the layout is beautiful in its own way. The picture is lovely. Anyway, as I've probably made it clear to you, I loved this and I think that you did a fantastically gorgeous job.