Lost Myself Again - Comments

This was beautiful.

(:

The layout was simple yet it was very pretty. I liked the banner, it contrasts with the beige(I guess you could call it that…) background. Onto the story!

This gave me a bit of an eerie vibe but during the last paragraph, its like, she's free from her suffering and that's really beautiful <3 The way you wrote her skin covered bones grinded together was what got my attention.

Fabulous job! :D <3

Wow. I know I asked for you to comment first (You might have, I haven't checked recently), but this was great. I read a few stories kinda like this, but this is different. The shortness made it almost better, like you didn't push it and just wrote. It was beautiful :)

I love this, "Deeper and deeper she fell, encased in a blackness that was impossible to penetrate with even the brightest of lights." Its makes me picture it, that is briliant!

I also love how you ended it. You did not exactly pin point if she died, went crazy or was aducted by aliens xD Over all this was beautiful and I'm glad I got to read this. You are by far a great writer :)

I totally love that girl's hari, but that's completely off-point, aha.

I think it should be "the bones under her skin" or something like that, because they aren't really skin covered bones, or I'm think of actually wrapped around every contour and everything. That could just be me, but yeah.

But otherwise, this was seriously beautiful. It's seriously brilliant, the way you manipulated the words to sound so... helpless, really, and the ending was perfect. I don't know if she died, if the blackness was her final moments of life, but "she was infinite" was just wonderful.

It was short, but I really liked it.
:)

First things first, I apologize for the delay with reading your story. Several ideas as to what was wrong with this girl came to mind as I read this. I'm a sucker for imagery and detail so this story really blew me away. By far the best that I have read. I could easily picture all of this in my head and I felt like I could have been there with her. Whatever was happening you portrayed it beautifully. Brilliantly done. :)

I really loved. Heck, I dont know what that was either. But whatever it was it was beautiful. :p

I really like this, it was different, but that's good! You really hooked me when you said "skin covered bones." I wouldn't have ever thought of something like that. This piece is beautiful, and from this, I could imagine you could create other pieces just as amazing. Great job!

Different eh? I havent read so many unusually amazing stories in days. The way you describe is amazing, I could imagine her struggle, almost giving you a sense of eternal struggle, just made me wanna grip the girl back to safety. The imagery used is incredible, the use of metaphors incredible. You were right, this was quiet amazing, I dont know why it gave me a strange feeling.(Thats a good thing =P) and its just a very powerful piece of writing. You ought to write more drabbles, your real good at it =). Well done.

i really like the layout, its very simple and nice :)
the first paragraph is actually quite sad I believe
but I love the way you described it was beautiful
"skin covered bones" i really, really liked that
good job putting that as the first thing you wrote
she's so weak she can't even get up or scream
just, that's scary to even think about, the poor girl
the third paragraph also gave good imagery
how she's "falling down a black hole" I like that
but it's almost like being in a scary dream for me
those dreams where you can't scream and you can't move,
because you're so weak and you seriously can't speak
so that third paragraph was oddly enough a bit relatable
loved this very, very much for sure. you're a wonderful writer
you should write many more drabbles <3. this is great
because you don't know exactly who this girl is,
or why she is such a weak person, or he for that matter
I just know this was very well written, amazing job !

Something about the imagery in the very first paragraph just left me speechless. The beginning, to me, was eerie. Maybe it was how her body was described. I really love how her falling, whether it be literal or metaphorically, was stretched out with every detail written in. What I really liked about this was the final line: She was infinite. For some reason, I felt that the line was happier than the rest of the content of the story. The first four paragraphs described what was happening to her, but then, I felt that the last line was the one positive thing that came out of this. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, I really loved this; it was beautifully written and just wonderful overall.

This was absolutely and indescribably beautiful. I love ambiguous pieces such as this and it has utterly captured my heart. I love the opening sentence, though I had to read it a few times to snap myself to attention. Her skin covered bones grinded together. You made the movement of a single limb out to be one of the most beautiful things I've ever read described. This was just absolutely brilliant, flawless, and gorgeous. Unbelievably amazing job! <3

Honestly, I don't really know what I can say. That was so beautifully written, and the concept was lovely. I liked the way that it seemed a bit vague at first, making you want to read more and more so you could understand what exactly was going on. Your descriptions were gorgeous and painted the scene just right.
The ending was so beautiful, and I loved it. It gave a happier feel to the story than what had preceded it. It was perfect. C:

Just to start off, I thought this was a beautiful piece of writing. I like the way it was kind ambiguous until the end.

The first paragraph was a very powerful opener. It captured my interest straight away about what was going on and why. The way you wrote it also meant that there was already a slight emotional connection between myself and the character, even though I knew nothing about her. I guess the only suggestions I could give is that you use repetition twice in a short space of time with:
falling farther and farther. and collapsing her further and further
It gives the flow a bit of a jolted feeling, but that’s only if I’m being picky.

Again, I thought the next two paragraphs were written very well. They captured the sense of desperation really well. I thought the language used was very elegant which created I thought went really well with the story. I especially loved:
The air slowly seeped out of her lungs as she hung from the edge of life’s cliff with only to stem of a flower to hold her up.

I liked the way it ended on a hopeful note rather than being weighed down with what has just happened. I thought the last line created a nice contrast in a way to the rest of the piece. It summed up the experience nicely.

Overall I really enjoyed it.