The Two Sides of Black Blood in the Dark - Comments

First off, thank you for entering this in my contest. I'm going to say right off the bat that I really like the title; it's mysterious but it's just so damn creepy at the same time, if that makes sense. The only suggestion I would have about the layout/summary is not to give away the entire story in the summary. It's great that you're warning the readers what they're about to read but I would find another way to word it, if that makes sense.

I really like that you're doing it from Frank's point of view. I'm only on the first paragraph of the story but I can already tell that this is just going to make the story that more intense. Your writing is quite good as well; you did a great job setting up that terrifying scene right from the beginning. Once I'd read a bit further, I realized that you're doing a good job at illustrating the two sides of Gerard; the gentle, "I'm sorry" side and the angrier, more evil side.

Jerry? Jared? No, it was Gerard. That line just made me laugh. xD

I really, really liked the twist ending. I expected Gerard to just kill Frank but I was quite happy that the other way around happened. It was a bit of hope in what was other a pretty depressing and twisted story. I can tell that you worked really hard on this; even though it was a pretty fucked up (in the best way) story, your writing is very skilled and you should definitely most more of your stories on this site, if you haven't already. Thanks so much for entering this in my contest! :)

is it wrong that i keep coming back to this story to read the very last line?
“Have you ever seen blood in the dark?” I ask as I draw the blade sharply across his throat.
i'm sorry but that line just makes me shudder. not the bad shudder either. its such a conclusion to this story, ending so suddenly but it just seems to fit

Okay that was epic and amazing and i wish you could continue but anyway AMAZING!!!!!

I loved it so so much :D You're writing skills astound me and I am so jealous. The ending was done very well, I loved how frank repeated Gerards words to him in that way and then did that to him. It was the icing on the cake :)

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i am literally in awe at how amazing this story is. i just read it and it rocks! i guess this makes me a sick person for liking this but i dont care. it is very well crafted and i don't think i have ever come across something like this before. its dark and enticing with a surprising twist at the end. you are very creative. :D

Super fucked up..... but super good.....
Yeah.... I really don't know what else to say.... just that I enjoyed it... despite how super fucked up it was.....

Much love
JAzz <2+1