Yuri - Comments

  • Brekke

    Brekke (100)

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    Comment Swap here.

    Wow! That story was really good, very dark. Although a few things, you have some spelling errors and grammar ones that make it hard to read. I like the imagery with pip. It was really interesting. Great story!
    August 19th, 2012 at 08:29pm
  • boyking

    boyking (100)

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    wow

    alright okay that was me pausing in awe because of how great this was. darker than i expected which is a good thing because dark = amazing usually, i liked the repeated "kersplat" near the end and the progression of how much control pip really had over yuri, it started off with one death and then another and then another, and mostly i found it interesting when pip left as well. its amazing how cruel the world is. yuri didn’t touch laura. he didn’t push her off the bridge. laura jumped off on her own. yuri didn’t pull the trigger he loaded the gun as pip handed it to him. laura wasn’t pretty that day. she was ugly and pip was happy. that was one of my favourite bits as well as the ending, the line breaks were perfect and how the point of view changed (if that's the right word) because it's the first time we get a direct "i" rather than "yuri" etc. what a great writer i wish i had half the talent you do
    July 14th, 2012 at 07:49am
  • Merida

    Merida (120)

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    Oh snap! This was pretty awesome. I love that it isn't the typical story line. It's totally real. I was glad that it didn't read as if you were trying to hard to be in the mind of someone like that. Like it wasn't overdone.

    kersplat

    it felt like you put an entire story into a short piece of writing...but I guess that's the point of a one-shot, is this a one-shot? I didn't check. Facepalm

    Anyway, I love the explanations of pip and yuri and their relationship. I could really picture the steps of this story in my head. Bravo! This was brilliant.
    June 13th, 2012 at 06:58am
  • puke

    puke (100)

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    this is ssssssssssoooooo good
    i love everything about it it's fucking great and haunting and ahem

    i think you're a wonderful writer ◕‿◕❁
    July 30th, 2011 at 04:18am
  • done in love.

    done in love. (200)

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    I don't know how this doesn't have comments yet.
    Honestly, this was awesome.
    I really like what you did with the grammar and spelling and whatnot. It added a great effect, and I think it made the story far better than it would have been otherwise.
    This was dark and kind of demented, but the way you wrote it made it almost not seem that way. It seemed childish, which I suppose it was, what with Yuri's mind and all.
    I really liked this a lot, and I'm sorry it took you three tries to get it right, but it's amazing the way it is now.
    July 25th, 2011 at 03:36am