A Bleeding Lily - Comments

The way you wrote the time laps was powerful. I thought about it but my freinds would be annoyed that I showed them stories that wern't finnished except Mrs. P. but she's not mature enough yet.

This is fantastic. I love the emotion in the words, and I love the narrator's pain. I can feel it, like I'm the one going through it. You've got quite a bit of talent and I hope you continue writing

Update soon!

Wow. You can feel her dependents like a ton of bricks.
Amazing poem.

Great update! I love this story!

"Your pen is all dried up wasted on some stupid doodles" Glad your continuing with this.

I absolutely love it. That girl must really be sad now that her friend's dead. The second chapter made me want to listen to Evanescence's Hello.

I see you
The frightened face
The struggles you make
The pleading in your eyes when you look at me
I see him
The malicious gaze
The sick smile
His sadistic face in all its glory
And there I stand
Frozen

I love that it was something so small that could make such an impact on her and that she wanted to get rid of what made the two evil words, but that it's really so huge that her friend is dead, if that makes any sense....
i definitely love this story!

I like that she was writing with a pen that belonged to her and I liked how you told us the colour.

It's amazing. simply amazing

This story is original, unique and extremely moving. I actually love the fact the your chapters are quite short; it really doesn't need any more detail. It's sincere and heartfelt. I would actually go on to say that it's just PERFECT!

Chapter 5 is the best yet. Does it really matter how short/long the chapters are when the story is this good? Quite simply; NO! It affects me so much and makes me want the killer dead and buried and at the same time I feel so sad too. You're great at playing with your readers' emotions - not a lot of people can do that.

Well done and keep it up.

Yes I'll do that and for Exodus.
I like what you said about dread.

Touching every time. Great job. I really love it.

I really like this. It's different.
More soon :D

Very beleivable.
You have good moral value.

ohh lalala
morrreeee

I love it!
the way i see it, some stories need to have a lot in each individual part to make sense and to be good, but yours is one of the few stories that gets the point across, along with so much emotion, in only a few words. and i think that is good writing there.
but, i'm not saying you shouldn't make them longer, or keep them the length they are now. just like i'm not saying that they won't be just as touching and amazing if you make them longer. you can make them however long you want since you're the writer. just thought i'd let you know what i think...sorry for writing so much....just my opinion...

You haven't written a lot for the last chapter, but hell, you really didn't need to do anything else with this. It's so intense and I feel so much hate towards the "bastard" that killed her. It's so real and honest. Fantastic as always.

I love chapter 2

Amazing. That's what this story is. It definitely stikes emotions that most people don't feel every single day. Great job with it!