Pass Me By - Comments

/finally got around to commenting on your story. This is what I get for putting on Food Network and obsessing over Adam -- I get distracted easily.

The summary, first of all, was really nice. I liked it. It went with the layout and it was really intriguing to me. I enjoyed it and I want to see what happens next, so I am actually going to subscribe! (:

The first chapter was good, even if Mr. McNally made me a bit angry. Something I noticed, though, that irks me about the first chapter is that you tell a lot of stuff. Like the main character's appearance and little details about him. That's fine, I guess, but it's in first person, I don't see why someone would want to elaborate on their appearance while they narrate their lives, or point out their traits.

It never made much sense to me, is all!

Other than that, I'd say it's going at a decent pace and that was a good beginning for the prologue and first chapter! Good luck and happy writings with it! (:

I love the picture you've got at the top. It actually makes me pause, think a bit, and get way more into detail about how it fits with the story than you'd believe, haha. It's nice that the layout is easy to read, too.

The summary confused me at first, but as soon as I got into the first chapter, I was completely hooked. The mysterious feel to it pulled me in immediately, and I had to go back and reread parts just because you'd already gotten me thinking again about what's going on, who this guy is, why he knows so much about everyone. It definitely makes the entire read that much better, when it's such an instant interest.

And beyond that, you write characters really well! It seems effortless, but you've painted a vivid picture without using too many adjectives. I already care about the characters, already want to know about their pasts, their present lives, all that. And something that I especially love about your style is that you know how to use adjectives well.

You use verbs that are just as descriptive, you provide information about what people look like without flooding the reader with little facts. Some things are still left to the imagination, which I adore. A lot of writers think they need to tell the reader all about every little detail, and it isn't as enjoyable that way. But you've found a wonderful balance.

So anyway, I really love this story so far! Definitely subscribing. :)

I like the summary, very good :)
And I like how there's a sort of mystery element to it
I like it :D

The layout and summary are both very excellent, for starters. You've written this absolutely amazingly, and I love it! I'm extremely intrigued by Estella, and I like Nicholas very much - he's a very developed character. I like how his benefits with McNally didn't last the whole story - McNally didn't just pull him out of the streets and whoop-dee-doo he has happiness. You've made conflicts and obstacles that Nicholas must overcome. I'm subscribing, and very much looking forward to reading more :]

- Alexandria Keith Moon

This story is just freaking adorable, that is the best way I can put it. Nick is just like the cutest freaking thing that I cannot even. I pretty much fell in love with him, no big deal or anything. I love how incredibly... observant, he is, aha. It sort of adds to his personality and I think it's cool, because it shows how into ourselves most people are and how oblivious, but he's really sort of... in-tune with the entire city, you could say. I don't know, I think that's really cool.

Some may consider this psychic. I call it paying attention.

And how blunt he is too, I like how he's not someone to dance around the truth, even if it doesn't get him on the best sides of people and he doesn't get his coffee anymore, he's real honest about everything and he's not fake at all. I like that about him, it shows true character, even in his position. Usually in stories the guy is this super-rich-awesome guy but I like how he's broke, it makes him more real, I think. I don't like that greasy dude though, not cool guy. Your wife's dying and he's out with other chicks, I'm glad that Nick didn't try to woo him just for the coffee, he's a not cool dude.

And I don't know what to think of the girl. To be honest, the first thing I thought was like MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES but I just have flair for dramatics, to be honest, aha. But I'll definitely be looking forward to this! :)

Wow, first story on Mibba, you're good.
The layout is really pretty and simple, and I think it's perfect for the story, it doesn't distract the reader from reading the story but at the same time it's pleasing to the eye.

I liked your summary, I loved the format, I loved how the descriptions of the people were vague but at the same time not too vague, I was able to imagine those people, straight to the point.

Grammar was good, no spelling errors.

I loved the description of Estella, I just loved how she was just hard to figure out for him.
Tres bien. c:

This is really one creative thought for a story, I absolutely adore it
In two chapters you have managed to create and mold these characters and the visuals of a bustling city with the man sitting on the sidewalk just strumming along to a tune only he knows
So very captivating, definitely subscribing

This chapter was amazing.
I feel bad fo Nick.
This chapter answered one of my questions and left me with another:
Who's the woman?

Me thinks its his mom. =D

Absolutely marvelous. I love those kind of wallflower stories because I am that kind of person who just sits back and takes in the surroundings. It's fun in a way. The layout is very nice and fits very well thus far. The only thing that really takes away from this is the wording, some things just sound awkward and steal away from the flow. I know stories aren't poems, but they still have their own flow and rhythm about them.

I must ask one thing: WHY AM I JUST NOW READING THIS GLORIOUS CREATION? WHERE HAS IT BEEN ALL OF MY LIFE? Okay, that was two things, but you know. This is utter and pure genius, dear. I've fallen absolutely head over heels in love with not only this concept, but your skill to hook me with the summary. And then the prologue? I'm sold. I need to read more. More. This is so different from everything I've seen before and is such a brilliant breath of fresh air! You've got skill, wonderful skill! I'm subscribing and I hope to read more soon. I'm always a sucker for a musician, fictitious or not! <3

This is very beautifully written.
I love the mystery theme around it all. And I'm definitely wondering why he knows everyone else's story and not Estella's.
I love this and I'm going to subscribe, because I have to know more.

The summery left me dying to know more. I love the idea of how there's only one girl whose story he does not know.

The first chapter was beautifully detailed in a simple way. The paragraphs wrrent too long and the sentences werent choppy.

I only found one little mistake: My focused dropped to the guitar in my lap as I strummed a few chords, earning a few pennies from the pedestrians passing by.

"Focused" should be "focus".

This has great potential and I'm going to sub so I can give you a better comment when I read more :)

You could publish this, I swear. It beautifully written and so captivating. I'm in love with the idea you've create here, the girl with no story. the boy who knows everyone's song and story except for hers.

It's amazing, really. More soon!

Well first off, I enjoyed how the summary it really gave me a glimpse into the point of views of the characters. Which makes the reader somewhat excited about the story itself which is a total plus.
The prologue didn't give to much away and it makes me want more (as the prologue should be). Description was good it helped me formed a mental picture inside my head. like Nicholas I really want to know who is this Montgomery girl. Does she have skeletons in her closet etc.
Overall I enjoyed this and you've just earned yourself a subscriber. ;)

I like the way you're writing this story... very good. It has a sort of mysteriosness to it because the whole time you're thinking: "How does he know everyone's story?" And it also makes me want to know what the girl's story is. Very interesting story, it leaves you wanting to know more. I really like the layout, too. :D

I love the layout. The summary is interesting enough to make me want to read on. The prologue makes me wonder more. I really like this and I've subscribed.

This story looks so familiar to me; I really don't know why it is, but you definitely know how to hook a reader in. The summary was so awesome. I love how you describe each different character. It adds a nice little touch and reminds me a bit of Gossip Girl. However, yours is a bit more realistic to the non-bazillionaire sort xD Anyways, I really like how you start this off with this unnamed person observing this girl. I've been stumbling upon alot of "observation" stories lately and they really do catch my eye. It's interesting how he names the people as they walk by without even really knowing their faces. This is really interesting and I'll definitely have to check back when you update (: Lovely job! <3

the layout and summary is so good :)
the story is by far the best i've read ever!!
it's very well written,you can see the talent you have!
i love the descriptions you give!!
very well done!!!! :D

This story deserves all the love its gotten!
The layout is simple yet beautiful, and not distracting.
The story is well written, and the plot's got me intrigued and asking questions.
Why, though, is the first chapter a prologue? It could probably stand alone as a chapter perfectly fine.
Author's preference of course, but just a curiosity.

Wow I really enjoy the elegant layout and that boy is mighty handsome. I love your description on the summary and the prolouge. I wonder how he knows everything and that keeps me wanting to read the story. very good keep updating! :)