Remus Lupin and the Shrieking Shack - Comments

WOW I loved it, it was very interesting and I couldn't keep my eyes from leaving the screen. The only thing I have that could get you more readers, is to add more of a prolog. I like how you did the dialog thing, but I think it would be better to add a discriptive paragraph before the dialog. Other then that it is amazing, please for give my spelling. I don't have spell check on this page and I really need it lol

This is really good. Most fanfics about Harry Potter are about Hermione, Harry, Draco, and/or Ron. But yours talks about Remus, which makes it different from all the others. Good different. I like different. :) Like Robin 'The Sidekick' said, I could really feel like I was in the boy's shoes. Keep up the good work. You've got yourself a great story here. :D

I like the quote :))
I've never actually read a Harry Potter book, but I'll read this.

I don't usually read HP fics on Meebz, mainly because, a lot of the time, the authors completely screw everything up and it just ruins the fun for the reader. But yours is just so...cool! I didn't even start yet and I know that I'll like this c: Oh, and I like the layout's simplicity and the banner. Very cute! Anyways, moving on to the review.

I like this premise of Remus's transformation into a werewolf and how it is from his point of view. We really don't see that in the novels (at least, I don't think so; it's been a while since I've read them. Gotta do that again soon.) and it's interesting to see how you really make this your own. And I found this line really, really creepy/weird: You see, Greyback liked to infect young children with lycanthropy, and raise them to hate wizards and muggles. He wanted an army, so he could overthrow them all. That's just...macabre O_O Nonetheless, what an interesting beginning!

I like this a lot. It's fast paced and crazy cool and I'm in love with this (: I wish you the best of luck as you continue this. Amazing job!

I'm not really a hug Harry Potter fan, I mean I like Harry just not hard core fan. So I stay away from fic's about Harry potter but this one is different, its not like the others which is really good.

I like fic's that are different from others, that dont almost have the same plot. I also love the title, it caught my eye. The summary was really good, not too long and drew me in.

Details are really good, its hard to do details sometimes and you did a great job on that. Its sad that at young age he got bitten by a wolf but at the sometime it goes along with the story.

Overall this is really good, your a great writer :)

This is amazing. Update now. I can't wait to read more. I actually felt like I was in the little boy's shoes. :"D I'm subscribing.

This is so fantastic. I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. I've read the books and seen the movies so many times, it's crazy. And this.. I love it. Most HP fanfics dont have the quality and detail that yours has. I'm so in love with this.

Ahfayf;shvlhfsyufvsvlv. I do not like the parents. x') Ah, poor kid. In anther not, I love the summary. It totally made me go, "Awwwwwww." I know, I fail. But it was seriously adorable. Just akgkafkfak. I loved it, seriously. And I absolutely adore the banner picture you have. :D

Oh my. Poor kid! He got attacked by a wolf. Poor, poor kid. D: I'm glad he survived. But, gawd. I do not like her parents. I really love how you described everything. It was simple and elegant at the same time. You gave wonderful descriptions. It was like I was there, and I could see everything so clearly and what-not. Wonderful. You have seriously beautiful prose. I can’t express how good this is. I didn’t see any grammar mistakes and it was all done very well. The plot seems very well thought out and done. :) So very good job there.

I’ll be honest, I’ve only seen the Harry Potter movies, so I’m no HP buff or anything, but I like how this story dives into the past of Lupin. He’s an intriguing character, and I always like to hear/read stuff about him. I’m curious as to what you’ll interpret his earlier years to be. That is, if none of it was discussed in the books. Or only a little. I don’t know. X) Either way it’s seriously wonderful.

Overall, this was beautiful, and you should seriously continue. :D

I love the first chapter, though im not much of a harry potter fan. But the detail was amazing. How you described the intelligence and swiftness of the wolf, and described him as playing a game with the young child who was his prey.

And like how it started out with the character being so young, innocently reading a story and then Bam a wolf comes out and the next thing you know shes running for her life.

It was indeed a beautiful opening.

The first line of the first chapter is immediately engaging, and draws me in. I want to know what this ‘it’ is that happened. I love your simplistic descriptions. They’re wonderful. You seem to have chosen your words very carefully, and it works.

“I felt a pair of eyes looming somewhere in front of me…” This is an example of what a great writer you are. The use of a good word like ‘looming’ makes this simple sentence work, and also, it’s engaging as hell.

“It’s breath was coming in ragged waves that chilled my bones…” Another great part of a sentence that I’m quoting here. The way you describe things helps me to imagine it exactly in y head. When I read this, I suddenly felt a bit cold myself. I felt like I was the character. This is a really hard thing to do, and when people try, not many get it right. But you.. you are so good at it.

I don’t think “My seven year old eyes stared..” was necessary. You didn’t need to state the age of the character, because you already did earlier on. Starting the sentence like “My dark eyes..” or “My wide eyes…” could add to the imagery for the reader and set the scene a bit better, if you get what I’m saying? I don’t mean that harshly, it’s just a suggestion, and don’t feel compelled to change anything just because some random girl commented on your story and suggested something. It’s your story, after all. I’m just trying to offer some friendly constructive criticism!

“It was a sight that I will never forget, and one that shakes me with every full moon..” I LOVED this part. The words you used, the way you phrased it. You are truly wonderful, you know that? “His eyes like gangrene moons.” The way you phrase things in your descriptions is so completely creepy and accurate and it just gave me chills reading this part and imagining what the wolf must have looked like.

The way you tell Remus’ story, and how his parents treated him when he was trying to figure everything out, is very realistic and honestly, freaking heartbreaking mate. Especially when his father abandoned him in the forest and you described the painful transition period. Almost bloody cried. Also, I had to bite down on my tongue to stop from vomiting. Thanks for that. Haha.

But that’s the sign of a good writer, you know. If you can get your readers to feel what your characters are feeling, then you’ve succeeded. Well done!

I really enjoyed the start of this story, and your fluid writing story. I love Harry Potter, so of course I’m subscribing! You did a really good job. Keep it up!

:)

Hm, well I had no idea what was going on considering I've only seen a few of the HP movies and haven't read any of the books, but nonetheless it was still good.

I liked the way you wrote this. Kind of mysterious but still telling enough so people who understand it could know what was going on. Though I have to say the beginning seemed a little...rushed. He was infected and then all of a sudden he was changing. Now maybe that's how it happens but I don't know, just seemed a little rushed to me.

The end though, was described brilliantly. I liked how you said he was biting and scratching and just wanted to take all of his skin off. It sounded really cool. :D

Anyway, I'm not sure I'll be a constant reader/subscriber because I don't think I'll understand it but it's definitely a good story! Good job and good luck with it (:

Now, I can't honestly say that I'm well versed in Harry Potter lore, but I do very much love your writing style. It was truly a brilliant introduction - unique, telling without saying too much, and left me wanting more. Perhaps that's because I don't know the story, perhaps not.

I very much adore your use of simplicity amongst whirling sentences containing the utter beauty that is the written word, it's like diamonds and charcoals, both fascinating and beautiful in their own ways. I dunno. I hope I'm not being too wishy-washy. I really do enjoy what you've written, please keep it up. :)

Okay, so I know pretty much nothing about Harry Potter and Remus Lupin. The most I knew was that he was, in fact, a werewolf or something like that. However, the way you wrote this, it came off like an original idea. I feel like I can read this without necessarily having to know everything about Harry Potter, and even in my limited knowledge of the book, I was no lost. Your descriptions are wonderfully detailed, yet not over the top. The way you write is also very mature. I can tell that this is an adult reflecting on his past experience, rather than someone attempting to sound like an adult.

I liked your description of the transformation. That he was itching and biting his skin. The image of a child (I'm guessing he was still a child) attacking himself in order to rid himself of this curse is so disturbing and painful. I felt genuine empathy for him. And the fact that his father just left him there. The loneliness. The abandonment.

The only thing was I felt like was the bite scene was a little rushed. Like when he was first infected, and it seemed like you didn't know how to describe it. But that's very little and the rest of the chapter makes up for it :)

I can't promise I will be a constant reader, but if you ever want to comment swap the second chapter I will definitely be up for it. It is an interesting read and you have a wonderful talent.

Wheww, you gave me a fan fiction that I was actually familiar with the fandom because luckily, I love Harry Potter :D I loved the quote on your summary, because it is kind of the Marauders' catchphrase and like someone said before me, it actually sets the mood and stuff for the story. I really like your summary, it's a short mini-excerpt and it's obvious they're talking about the fact that Lupin's a werewolf and that they know the truth. Even by just judging on the summary alone, it actually seems quite reminiscent of the characters. Of how, Sirius is the smirking, cocky arrogant guy while James is obviously the leader and Lupin is the quiet, keeps to himself sort of boy.

Anyway, I see some grammatical errors but nothing major and nothing that distracts my attention from the story. I really love all the references you've used such as the 'Tales of Beedle the Bard' and the fairytales that come along with it, it's obvious you're a dedicated fan like me :P And what a coincidence, I'm actually having a Facebook conversation about Harry Potter right now, haha. But aww, I feel bad for Lupin and I actually could imagine him saying this, great job with this. I really liked it :D

I think you've done a very good job at this. I love the summary, because it just seems very much Marauders. It seems like the lot of them and I actually would've liked to see some interaction from Pettigrew though. There were a few spelling errors throughout and I believe the book is called 'The Tales of Beedle and the Bard'. I haven't read that book yet, but I own it and if that story you've used is actually in it, I'm glad that you're keeping it to Rowling's specifications. With Greyback being the one that attacked him and all. I don't know if he was really seven when it happened, mainly because I haven't read the books in forever, but either way. Just every detail and what not is fantastic. This almost reads like a diary, and I can almost hear Remus speaking in my head, but for some reason he sounds like the guy who voices the Prince in Prince of Persia....>.> Either way, fantastic job. Just go through and find those spelling errors, go through with Microsoft Word maybe?

I loved the layout and the banner, they're both beautiful. (:

My favourite thing about this thus far has to be how realistic it is. The interaction between the marauders is spot on. I also love that it's being told from Remus Lupin's viewpoint because as far as I'm aware stories like that aren't exactly common. Going back to before and when Remus was bitten was interesting. It was nice to have a back story to the untold tale J.K never addressed.

Going through the transformation and lead up to it was heartbreaking. I truly felt for Remus you captured his emotion well. The bit where his father was binding him to the tree was just too much. Aw, Remus. I'm interested to see when we get to the next chapter, where about it'll begin.

"I had thought that he wasn't able to controll it." Control.
"but I shook my head yes anyways." Anyway.

this is seriously good, I think it's going to be a very interesting story and I'm diffenetly subscribing in a second and hopefully you'll get a better comment out of me next time.. =)

the simple layout rocks, to be honest. i'm quite fond of those, :) padfoot, wormtail, moony, and prongs in the banner, that rocks.

aww, the marauders! lupin is so precious, clearly trying to protect his friends and such, and then that they all just want him to be honest. they're best friends, there's no reason for llupin not to be honest. the summary does a great work at getting me to know what the piece will be about, so that rocks awesomely, and nyagh, they're such a little family.

i'll actually be subbing to see this, it seems quite adorable :)

This. Will. Take. My. Potterfic. Virginity. I am so drawn in by just the short summary. I'm subbing for sure, and I love the banner. I love the emotion behind Remus's reaction to his secret being out. le perfection. :)

The layout wasn't really..out there, y'know but somehow it really worked. Maybe its just me but there was a gap in the story area. Probably just me :l

I really like how you had the "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" banner. It really worked for me and that drew me in c:

"My aunts ill" lmao, that's such an original excuse. I like how they still have such a strong bond but I want to know what year they're in or if they're out of school :/

Overall I like what you have here c: