the whole conversation bit, it was cute. this first part of the chapter had me thinking it would be a dark conversation, but it was goofy<3 I loved it:D
I loved the prologue so much. I can't wait to read the rest of this story, really. I think it's a wonderful concept and I can't wait to see where you all take this story! :D
I'm amazed that close-minded children will only cling to one thing said within a whole comment of criticism. I didn't JUST bash it, I gave reasons as to voice my opinion. And IN my opinion, it IS stupid, and I have the RIGHT to state just as so. I could have just said completely rude things without real point. Did I? No. I gave logical reasons to back up what I said. You cannot say I was just bashing and bashing alone. Proof of this is quite simply the fact that you ignored every bit of my comment except for the word "Stupid". I'm actually QUITE disappointed in you, Mibba Users. Since when does criticism mean kissing someone's butt?
Wow, this is really good for such a short little chapter. =) I like all the detail you added, and how it felt so real. It reminds me of my story a little bit where I start off with a babysitters telling the little girl a story. I'm guessing the next chapter we'll jump into the story, right? I'll be waiting for your next update! =)
Ahhh, this is great :) I am so subscribing. I really liked the intro bit but I'm dying for the rest :D And regarding the basher... I did see the Time Lord bit and thought of Doctor Who. I'm not sure if you were going for that or not, but either way... I personally thought it was great and kind of did a little cheer.
^ "Criticism"? That's bashing, and it will get you banned. Ahem! Moving on!
I absolutely love the concept of this. it makes Dujo seem so awesome, and almost like a superhero. :3 He goes by many names and just like night and day, he comes and goes. Seriously, that.... Just gave me total, comlete chills. You and artsy writing, madam, will be the death of me. In a good way. ;3
The use of the words "coarse" and "withered" add so much more interest than just saying "old" and "wrinkled". Again, chills. You are giving me chills.
This is all so many interesting! :O “You have chosen a very good book to read, child. For this is about the legendary creator, our leader, Dujo, who had created this wonderful kingdom of Mibba.” The old woman said quietly and it was then that the stories began with the little girl listening with much interest. It's almost as if I get the feeling that Dujo started Mibba online and it became an actual place. I don't know if that's where it's actually going to go, but I do know one thing...
Yeah, I hate to be so cruel but... this is just stupid. Not only did you rip off Doctor Who, but you did it with poor taste. If you're going to make a story about a guy you know very little of, can you at least use originality infused with it seeing as you have so much to play with? Why are you ripping other people off with their creative works and trying to make it your own?
If you are going to continue this story, I suggest you actually do a better job next time. Thank you for reading my comment. I hope the criticism helps.
For some reason, the prologue made me laugh. I love the idea of the tale of mibba being a story that is told to young children. And, as I've already said before, this is a completely wonderful idea! I am totally subscribing!
I'm smiling:) The whole first chapter I spent smiling:) You just can't hate on this. :) I found no errors and this is just soo.....entertaining! xD I loved it. I love the idea. I feel like when I read more I'll enter this magically place xD I like the "Gramma" reading the tale because it just makes it feel more enchanting:) Can't wait to see where this goes.