I Tried My Best - Comments

I'm really, really glad you decided to continue the story and I'm also very, very excited to see where else this goes. It was a very, very cute start. I liked how awkward he was, and how sweet she was. You still have a bit of a grammar problem, but other than that this was absolutely lovely. I enjoyed reading it. c: You're a very excellent writer and I love your detail. I hope you update sooon. <3c:

P.S- Comment Swap for Of Red Velvet & Chocolates

I enjoyed the summary.
I also enjoyed the first chapter, however, I do suggest that you have an editor of some kind.
Now, I don't want this to sound offensive, lol, but I do think you need to have someone look through and fix some grammar and punctuation issues. For example, there is barely any periods in the second paragraph. It's like a huge run on sentence.

^-^
Hope this helps!
~Brias

I like the summary, it was kind of long but at the same time didn't give too much away, just enough to draw me in. I like the title, it also caught my eye. I probably should have read the first story that goes along with this just to understand it a bit better, but I wasn't lost.

Your details are really good, to the point it makes it seem real life like. I like how you made Randy different that his not prefect, his a normal guy. When writers try to make their charcter seem too real, it mess up the story.

This is really good, I like it. I'll read the other story later, so I'll understand better.

I like your summary, you don't give too much away but yet you manage to give enough so that the readers know what's going on and they're not wandering into the story blind-folded. I'm quite curious to know what happens to this Elizabeth character, congratulations on managing to pique my curiosity. xD I see a few grammatical/spelling mistakes, I suggest you get a beta.

Haha, I like the fact that Randy isn't quite perfect, that you made him not a very confident guy, that you made his hair greasy and that he was a little too skinny. I like the fact that you made him not perfect, it makes him more relatable and much more down-to-earth. I see you have a couple of run-on sentences, I suggest breaking them up, they can make the flow a bit choppy. But overall, this is shaping up to be a cute story, good job :)

There's a few grammatical errors in your story. To begin, the introduction.
She wasn’t dead, not yet at least. Randy’s Elizabeth had done what she needed to do in order to live. She’d done her best. The only mistake she’d ever made was leaving behind drops of blood in hopes they’d come for her in time…
As she stayed with this horrible people as they did these horrible things she adjusted to it the pain, the hurt, never seeing the man she loved, soon she was numb…
Eventually Elizabeth caved and did as they asked and before she knew it, she was no longer living in her past, before she knew it, she was no longer living at all.

It should read more like this.
She wasn’t dead; not yet, at least. Randy’s Elizabeth had done what she needed to do in order to live. She’d done her best. The only mistake she’d ever made was leaving behind drops of blood in hopes they’d come for her in time…
As she stayed with this horrible people, as they did these horrible things, she adjusted to it; the pain, the hurt, never seeing the man she loved. Soon, she was numb.
Eventually, Elizabeth caved and did as they asked. Before she knew it, she was no longer living in her past; before she knew it, she was no longer living at all.

There are a lot of run on sentences throughout the first chapter, too. Make sure to keep your sentences shorter, but not too short. You're going to want a medium length. I loved the plot of your story though. I was confused at times, but I kept reading and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

This is amazing too please start posting chapters soon you are an amazing writer.