The Quintessence of Macy Jensen - Comments

The layout is super pretty, first of all, I really like it.

Taking a look at the first chapter, my first impression is that it's really block-y, unappealing to read. Try cutting it down into more paragraphs to make it seem a little less intimidating, you know what I mean? :)

I feel like quintessence doesn't really work well with the hair. I think that if you said that she was the vanilla quintessence, that would work a lot more with the image you're trying to portray. Though I really like your descriptions for her, especially the wide sea eyes and the Christmas sweaters. She is a hipster, aha, but I like her. Though the "blonde bimbo" didn't really fit with that image, I think. It's usually the quiet and shy ones that are thought to be a lot smarter, not really dumb like that implies.

I like her though.

And the contrast with Brett in the second paragraph but so far he seems like a nice guy. Maybe it's just Canada, but football isn't really big here, so I'm always so surprised when people think the football captain is the most popular guy.

It's a little cliche, I'll admit, but an interesting start. I think the strangest part would be getting them to conversate, aha, but like I said I'll keep reading. :)

A theme that will never get old. :)
Well, I take that back, if done wrong it gets very old, very fast. However, I can see this won't be the case in your story. Merely a prologue and your writing skill shines through. The layout is beautiful as well and I love that little brown strip you have. I'd love to learn that.
It'll intreast me on how this plays out, since the two seem fairly adjusted in their lives.
Also I love the title :)

This is really good, and you are very descriptive.
Pretty short but I love it just the same.
Good job(:

for a comment swap

The title is very, very pretty. I don't know why I'd describe it as that but it's the best word I could come up with. The second thing that draws in my attention is the layout which is light and airy.

Hehe. The summary is short and sweet. I like it, and though it gives a lot away, almost, it's still nice.

I love the first sentence in chapter one for some reason or another. I can relate to her already, as I'm usually labeled as that "destined cat lady". You describe her very fast and that usually doesn't work but it does in this case. It paints a nice picture that sets the mood instantly.

D'AW.

By the end of the prologue, I'm absolutely beyond sold on this story. I'm subscribing so update soon, please? <3 I'll do my best to comment on every chapter.

I really love how descriptive you are =D
I like that even though she's described in a pretty way, she actually likes the way she dresses, it isn't forced upon her and therefore not something someone could change within the blink of an eye.
which to me makes this so much less cliche. I'm glad I came across your journal =)
I would love to read more from you!

I like this!

Hm, I like this! It's interesting so far, your descriptions are marvelous. Keep on writing!