Liam Sabbers, Professional Boyfriend - Comments

Yay finally a new update!! Please update soon!!! I love this!! Keep going!! :)

Oh my god I really love this. Lol I think it's funny how Sunny is the bigger part in this business, like without her the business really wouldn't work at all. Love it, update soon. (:

This is really good! I love it! keep going! Update soon :)
Oh and you now have subscriber :)

I like this. ALOT actually. Lol, the plot is great and i cant wait for more of this story. already hooked.!

Did I mention how much I like this idea? If not, well, there you go. Let's get into more depth, though.

The title is enough to draw in a reader, I think it's kinda comic, actually. No particular reason, it's just interesting and I quite like it. I really like the layout as well, I think the wood adds a nice little touch to it. And that banner is divine, it makes me excited to actually read the story, as if the title already hadn't. The summary is wonderful, I quite enjoy how it's laid out and the format is like an advertisement spread. I'd pay from him, and the biting comment needs a well-deserved and very much earned winky face. ;)

I'd recommend capitalizing or not capitalizing the chapter titles consistently, just because it makes it look a bit more organized. Pick one and stick to it, I think it'll definitely help. For the prologue, I liked the snippet. It's 'Kristen Stewart', I'm not sure whether or not someone pointed that out already. But yeah, that's about the only correction I could spot for that chapter. I really like the intro, it gives us a glimpse into Sunny&Liam, who I think are quite good characters thus far. She seems fun and sensible, like a good business partner, which is what he needs. He seems like a typical guy, though with an extra flair that obviously allowed them to be as good of friends as they seem to be. So far, so good, I believe.

The second chapter was really good in my opinion. More antics and more glimpses into the character's behaviors, which is important to pick up on early in the story, it makes the story more enjoyable as well as more realistic. I'm curious as to how this'll play out; if this business becomes more popular, won't everyone eventually know that any girl on a date with him is so desperate, they had to pay for a date? I think that could impact the sales he'll be cashing in on. I love the mention of his sister, Amelia, who I really enjoy. She's a bit irritating, but in a good sisterly way. I like how she was jealous that she wasn't chosen, it adds a good amount of depth and could even be a sub-plot since she's set up to be a static character from what I can see. It's good to give background characters something to do when we don't see them.

Oooh, prom night flashback. I wasn't really sure why that was in there, it seemed a bit disjointed, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. The detail was really good, we saw more of Amelia, who I think becomes more and more entertaining with her constant prostitute/whore jokes. The dynamic between Sunny&Liam comes in yet again, which I enjoyed. I think they're a wonderful tag-team, I can't wait to see how things unfold with them. Their relationship is really special, and really great, which I thoroughly enjoy about this particular chapter. If you're switching back and forth with past and present, I think that can get a bit confusing, but I'd like to see how it plays out. Sometimes, it can be a challenge for an author to pull of chapters like that, but I think you'd do a pretty decent job at it.

Olivia Wolfe sounds like a brunette bombshell in my personal opinion, and I love the mention with her and her ex-boyfriend, Harry Dawson. Reminds me of a couple I know that broke up, like two days ago, it's pretty legit. I can see how a relationship like theirs seems like it'll never end from what I can tell. I'd love to see how they broke up being mentioned in this story, as I think it's a good piece of detail. I always get curious about motives, especially since they've broken up after three years of being together. What was so big that got in the middle of three years of a relationship? I'm curious to see how things with Olivia&Liam turn out. I like that he's got a crush on her, but I'd love to see more of Sunny's reactions as well. I like that she teased him and such, but I'd like to see a bit more than that. Regardless, it was quite good.

Overall, I'd say this story is really good. A bit rough around the edges, but with a bit of polishing, I think it could turn out to be one of those gems you come back to read whenever you need a good smile and a bowl of ice cream. It's a refreshing story, I'm rather excited to see how it turns out. I'd love to see a bit more detail about their surroundings. I know it's not a huge part of the story, but sometimes it's good to give the reader a vision of where the characters are, what they smell/see/feel/taste/hear. I think a bit more sensory detailing would help this story a bit, but due to the nature of this story, I don't think you need too much of it. Otherwise, I think it's wonderful and I'm curious to see what happens next.

First things first, the layout is really pretty, and the banner is beautiful. I was really pulled in with the summary/pro-logue, I just wanted to jump in to the chapters. I felt like there could be a bit more description on the characters, so I could visualize them but I don't know if that's what you were going for or not. You have a nice writing style & the plot is just so mysterious to me I can't really predict what's going to happen next! I was thinking that it was going to be Sunny falls in love with him, but I'm not sure now since Olivia came into the picture. Nice job! You've got me thinking about the characters & whatnot :)

AWESOME chapter, once again <3 this was all too totally awesome. i'm mucho excited for the next chapter xD!!!!!!

Update soon? :3

I LOVE THIS

Youve got a neew subscriber

I LOVE IT!!!! I can't wait until you write the next chapter! Keep up the good work.
I really want to find out what happens to them :D

gtugthg gosh I love this. I love the idea, aha (:
and Liam is a whore, he can't deny it. :p

I so adore this story!! <3

Cute chapter, Sunny seems so uberly cool :)

Post more!

Oh my gosh, this story is so cute. Hah.I love the idea!
Keep updating! (:

OHHHHHH i like this already :) cant wait for the other characters to b introduced! yayayayayyyyy <3 happy writing :)

I like the characters already, they seem very vibrant.

I'm just gonna say I am in love with your banner. Seriously who made that? It's lovely. This doesn't count as my comment. This does:

The way your prologue starts off is adorable. Movie watching with your male best friend, my favorite thing to do. I love how strong of a relationship Liam and Sunny have and you've portrayed it rather well. I really like that you've chosen to show how it started, how this idea formed into Liam's head. The reference to Easy A made me smile as well.

The bickering between Sunny and Liam in the beginning of the first chapter was funny. I can tell that Sunny is already going to be my favorite character, just by how she's been acting in the first two or three paragraphs. The way you chose to describe Liam paired with his sister was brilliant, I could see them clear as day in my head which is cool. Again, the bickering makes me smile. I love the brother sister relationship between Liam and Amelia. It's nice to see them getting along so well. I usually read stories with hateful siblings so it was refreshing.

This story really is awesome. I'm glad that I've checked it out and I'm most definitely subscribing (:

I love this (:
Good work so far hun.

Liam is a whore. *cough cough*
And I think 30 dollars should be the standard price for the date. I don't know but if the girls are really that desperate, they'll pay anything.

AHHH HE'S A WHORE XD adored the chapter :D

And the price!! If its all lovey dovey and that crap? Definitely higher.

I'm not sure about prices or anything because I live in England but, I know this update was brilliant! I love his the sibling relationship - it's so real. Like, people with older/younger siblings can relate to this so well...

I honestly can't wait for more.

I absolutely love this. I'm subbing. <3