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The Last Warrior - Comments

  • MadamNixie

    MadamNixie (100)

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    Wow that was really good, I have never read a book from that type of angle on Hercules. Please update soon because I really would like to continue reading this story:)
    September 7th, 2012 at 06:39pm
  • River Young;

    River Young; (100)

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    Work on some word choices. There were a few times you repeated youself .

    And she felt her hand smash into a million pieces.
    It felt as if every bone in her hand had smashed.     Try to find a synonom for "smashed". It makes it flow nicer. :)

    When the female bird lunges at her after taming the male, you change to 1st person.

    Bahahaha! I love how the bird follows her around! xD I can see that! Love it!
    July 23rd, 2012 at 07:00am
  • River Young;

    River Young; (100)

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    Well, crap. That didn't work. with a word in between.
    February 8th, 2012 at 06:18pm
  • River Young;

    River Young; (100)

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    You switched between 1st and 3rd again...>.> But it was awesome! The fight scene between her the centaur(his name escapes me) was awesome!

    Oh, and if you want to put italics you have to do this.

    "word" Except no spaces, so it'll look like this. words. Hope that helps.
    February 8th, 2012 at 06:17pm
  • River Young;

    River Young; (100)

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    You switched between 1st and 3rd person once...but other than that, I loved it! :D I love centaurs! They are the shiz!!! :D
    December 3rd, 2011 at 02:33am
  • Qeencce

    Qeencce (100)

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    Loove it so far, cant wait for more.
    November 20th, 2011 at 01:04pm
  • cdas42121

    cdas42121 (100)

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    Love the added fictional beings
    November 10th, 2011 at 06:05am
  • River Young;

    River Young; (100)

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    There's a few errors, but I really like the idea of this story! Very original and your description is good! I think I'll supscribe. :)
    November 10th, 2011 at 05:42am
  • cdas42121

    cdas42121 (100)

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    I really enjoyed this first chapter, i cant wait for the next one!!!
    November 2nd, 2011 at 02:35am
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