Yes I do wish the chapters were longer, but your style of writing is very unique, and I love it. It reminds me a little bit like Ellen Hopkins style of writing!
Those eyes of his... they make me melt! I think I have to read that other story! :) I really like your writing. You keep it simple and clean. There's no confusion. Well, there is some, but that's because of the suspense you're building up by not telling us what has happened, hahah! :) I love this, and you're a sweetiepie! :D