I'll Never Be the Same - Comments

Too much cuteness to handle!

love this! i cant wait for the next update.

Awwww, poor Darren! Even though he's written as an absolute dick in this story I can't help but love him and feel sorry for him when he's sad. :)

Beautiful story(:
If I were Hailey,
I'd be giving in,
Just sayin'(:

Oh my god! What is to happen next?

I think Darren has something up his sleeve. After that stunt he pulled with his mom? Rude.
I love how Harry Potter is brought into. Oh Darren.

Fabulous! I was hoping she would give him a taste of his own medicine. Probably won't turn out well for her though... He'll try even harder, I'm guessing.

I seriously love this story so far. I love how you wrote Darren.It's different than Hurricane. Hailey is a strong main character at this point, and I love how she doesn't put up with his crap. It's totally awesome! I'm interested in seeing how this all plays out.

I don't think the layout pattern fits well with the layout, just because it's sort of messy. As well, I think the anaphora would work fantastically if you put "but he's most definitely not innocent." c:

The semicolon should be just a regular colon, and the in fact is just unnecessary dragging down the sentence, after senior just out a period. Never ever start a sentence with a conjunction, "but" is a big no-no. The "I've tried" should be I'd, your switching tenses.

Darren is a cute character though, I like how he's all determined and whatnot, it's quite adorable. I can see him as a real charmer! :]

I'll admit, I'm not the biggest fan of perspective changes within a chapter. Using friends twice in a paragraph makes it sound repetitive. I really like Hailey too- she's a strong female character and it's always so refreshing to find those that don't swoon at a pretty face. I like how she seems very concerned for her friends too, even though she's hard-like she still has a heart and it makes her a lot more likable! :3

I feel like Darren is just using Becca to get to Hailey though.

I really liked that line- it tells a lot. "His break-ups were even shorter than his relationships".

Again, I really like that even though she's clearly uncomfortable with crying and whatnot she's still there for her friend, it really makes me like her. Darren though, that boy has some explaining to do! He's losing his cuteness and fast! c:

I feel like "questioned" is such an awkward word choice. Also, not every quotation needs a tag. Sometimes it's just unnecessary and weighs it down, makes it lose impact.

So far it's nice, there's a few things I mentioned but otherwise it has a lot of potential to be an adorable story! :3