Hehe.. yes. This is very good. :3 I love this shit already... XD I have no idea why but imagining them all eating chorizo made me laugh. All is good, but I agree with KilljoyBekah you should separate your paragraphs :3 Update soon!
Okay, I think you're a good writer and this story is great, but you should separate your sentences and paragraphs to make it slightly easier to read. However, I like how you change points of view and focus on using dialogue to tell the story. It's different to anything else I've read. Well done :)