Chroma - Comments

I just finished your first chapter! I was brought here by a recommendation by LucifersAdvocateIII. I am very impressed! No, you do not cuss too much! It adds this great flavor to the narrator. I know that he's a badass now.

On a side note, I found one little error that bugged me a bit. Go to your chapter when Matei catches the Ghas Beetle. There's this sentence.

"He had green goo splattered on him, but a rub-it-in-your-face attitude and the dead, hairy, horned bug cupped in his hands."

He had a rub-it-in-your-face attitude cupped in his hands?

I would propose this to replace it!

"He had green goo splattered on him with a cocky smirk on his face and the dead, hairy, horned bug cupped in his hands."

But that is just me! I'll keep reading. I really like this!

Even though I'm not even halfway into your first chapter, I think this is amazing already just by the amount of times you've dropped the F bomb and by their awesome names, This definitely deserves more credit, I'm going to read on, although I'll probably space it out a bit.

This is very good, update please.

Cool update! More :D

ooooooo >.o I know about burns trust me I had 1/2 of my body burnt when I was a kid and almost had to have skin grafts but at least now all I have is a tiny scar :) update again soon please :D things are getting pretty intense XD

NO D: dang it I hate cliffhangers D:< Update again soon please I wanna see what happened! D:

^^ SAME :D lol I love this it is PERFECT :'D update again soon please!?

Sooooo, I think I'm kind of in love with this story :) Update soon??? *subscribe*