April 9th, 2008 at 04:34am
The opening paragraph was stellar, draws you right in and the line that caught my eyes was My whole body was heavy and sweaty, riddled with unknown ailments and of course . . . years of lying.
Absolotely brilliant :cheese:
Also, the more that I read, the more interest I'd gain regarding how things are going to link to the summary.
I liked how his trail of thoughts keeps flickering in and out of sanity and how everything doesn't seem to have a still sense of time. The events rythm seemed to just float around along with the thoughts and actions.
Birds flew from my mouth.
That's just... amazing. The whole paragraph and analogies blew me away :cheese: How the words laced with the emotions fitting to the similes was hdfkhf brilliant
I wish I can quote the whole thing here but that'd be cheating :shifty :tehe:
But really... you can't help but to indulge in it. It all falls together so beautifully and fits apart. Especially how you portrayed their brotherhood and the conflict within.
Your descreptions along with your wording is phenominal, and amazing. :file:
I loved and enjoyed reading it :cheese:
spank you.
really.