Claimed to Be Broken - Comments

So far, this is very good, but there's a few mistakes in Chapter one. Not many.
-She took one more remorseful glance at my house, and once she caught sight of me, she immediately came loping, away from me, with her auburn hair trailing behind her in a beautiful river that tangled in the wind.
Maybe Came loping, away from me, could be changed to Started to lope away from me,.
-I’ve tried drinking milk and listening to soothing rain patters from my CD player, but none took great effect. It seems like you're writing in past tense, so maybe switch the I've to I.
-Her voice swirled in my mind, going round and round like a Ferris Wheel and never fading away. I rolled over and sprawled on my tummy across the bed, but Sofia’s voice was still there, stuck in my memory. Only the 'F' in Ferris wheel is capitalized, because it's named after the inventor, but the 'W' in wheel shouldn't be capitalized.
-Then I realized that whoever it was, it was running now... towards me.
Could probably be changed to whoever it was, they were running now...towards me...

Aside from those few things, I'm really interested in the story. :)

Y U NO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!?

ALL THESE FLASH BACKS ARE HAPPENING AND I'M LIKE :O "IS SHE GONNA SHOW HE HE DIED!?" BUT NOOOO YOU DECIDE NOT TO! How can you be SO mean to meh!? I thought you were better than that!

Anyways. I stilled loved the chapter :3 I just....I wanna know what happened to Lucas and WHY such a handsome kid died :3 DID HE KILL HIMSELF!? :O

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE A LOT OF COMMENTS!? WHY!? This is like the best ghost/suspense story I've ever read on here. No lie. Oh lawd. I totally just subscribed. I WANT to know what happened to Lucas! And why only Samantha can see him!

What happens in the end!? I wouldn't know cause you won't update! D: Please. Just..please update. I'll tell everyone else about this AMAZING story!

Just update D:

first of all, i love your layout, second of all, i love the quote you used in the summary, and third of all, i love the story line and your writing. it flows along so beautifully and i like the idea for the story. it's cute :) i only got to chapter two though because i'm at work, which btw i apologize for taking so long to comment swap, i was at work last night and then i left like ten mins after posting the journal, so again, sorry for taking so long to get back to you.. anyways, i'm gonna go aheand and read more into your story :) great job and keep up the awesome work :D

Amazingly well written. It's just beautiful! I'm subscribing. This has great detail and the perfect amount of dialogue! I absolutely love it!

Right off the bat, I know I'm going to love this because your chapters are longer than 500 words. Your layout is readable and very pretty too.

During the first chapter, you tend to break off your paragraphs where it's not needed. You definitely know how to create suspense. When she's calling out for her parents, I got a chill. I'm not good with scary things lol. Then you leave me on a creepy cliffhanger? At least the next chapters just a click away lol

I'm sorry but if a ghost was in my room, angel resemblance or not, I would be jumping out the window screaming for an exorcist. Yep, that's how terrified of things I am. Anyway, the way Lucas meets Sophia is really freaking cute. She's about to beat up the wrong guy? Talk about adorable.

I like Lucas and Sofia. They're pretty adorable together. You tend to use big words where they're not necessary and it kind of threw me off because I'm not a big word user (see?) but other than that, you're doing great for your age. Like seriously, I was a horrible writer at fourteen lol.

Wow, I LOVE this! Very well written, interesting characters, and a very intriguing story-line. Update soon :)