Night of the Hunter - Comments

UPDATE SOON PRETTY PLEASE.
I WANT TO SEE JARED AND THE LAST CHAPTER WAS CLIFFHANGERR.WHY.

MORE UPDATES, YEAAAAAH~

Okay okay okay so Shannon really freaks the eff out of me. Not joking. I picture him as an old guy with super pale skin and a hook nose and a top hat and a waist coat and I know he doesn't work in a morgue and I know you said he wore "day clothes" but HE. IS. FREAKY.

Now that that's out of my system, WHAAAAT. Don't cry? The hell, bro?! Shannon, you're not winning points here; you may be taking her up to see your creepy frankenstein experiment but you sure as hell aren't getting any closer to the "normal" end of the spectrum when you pull shit like that. I don't care if you're putting your trust in her. It's not sincere. It's spooky. And quite frankly, this reader doesn't appreciate your bluntness. SPARE ME, OKAY.

And secondly, the old bag lady was SO weird. The angels thing and all that, "why, there's even one on your shoulder!" No bitch no! Stop saying freaky shit! The girl can't talk, for Christ's sake; she's stuck in a house with a creepy old dude with a girl's name; the least you could do would be cut the crazy shit out for an hour or two while this girl innocently peruses the store. Ugh. I was shivering all over when she showed up.

IS JARED AN ANGEL IN THIS? CAN HE BE? PLEASE? He's already an angel in real life. You can't make him a non-angel.

Well, you clearly have to update again now. You've left too many strings hanging and now have unsatisfied readers. Chop, chop!

"Don't cry?"

What the fudge does that mean?!!??

This was interesting chapter. Your writing is so beautiful! I love Christian and that she doesn't talk. People who don't talk fascinate me. xD

Update soon! I'm very excited!!! :D

I have to admit, I'm a huge fan of any kind of angels, so the summary pretty much had me sold on the story. I wasn't a big fan of the layout, the picture kind of seemed a bit too vibrant with the already busy background, but it was readable which is always a plus. You're writing is spectacular. First point of view isn't really my cup of tea, but you did amazingly well with it. I especially loved the ending of the second chapter, if I wasn't hooked already, that would have me completely over the edge.

It's ominous and has me wishing there was another chapter out! I'd really love to see this go past chapter four, because I'm definitely interested in reading it. I

The summary is lovely - I especially like the last quote, and the old person saying there's an angel on her shoulder. Lovely.

Chapter One: Oh, I laughed when I read 'Shannon Leto' - I couldn't help it. I like the fact that she's move to keep her out of poverty, but my lord, population two hundred?! Poor girl.
SHE WENT INTO THE ROOM. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS DO THAT. SILLY GIRL.
I enjoyed this chapter quite a lot :)

Chapter two: I loved everything about it.
And that last line made my heart hurt.
I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this story!

Chapter Two: Aw, she can't even have a full meal to herself. This is making me sad.

Hey. I'm going to read this later. Migraine. Sorry.

UGGGHHHH! I wannna read more!!
Please update!? <3

OMG!

I love your layout and the summary! xD Its just gah!

The first chapter totally has me sucked in!!

I'm guessing the thing that fell is an angel...that fell. A fallen angel! xD

Which is Jared?! >.> Did I spell his name right that time?

Awesome first chapter! I'm looking forward to it!

PPS
OUR BOTTIEZ

THEY ARE READY


MMM

P.S
is it too early for a sexxy love scene or

CUUUUUUM
BREAK MEEE DOWWWNNNN~

For some reason I kept thinking of From Yesterday while I read this, specifically the part where Jared is shirtless and the dude helps him put his little robe thing on, UNF. Good image to have while reading this.

UM.
THIS IS DUMB.
WHY WOULD YOU SAY
"see that door? The super mysterious~*~ looking one that's full of magic and knows and shit? Yeah that's off limits don't go in there~"
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
OF COURSE THAT ROOM HAS TO BE ENTERED NOW. NOW THAT HE MENTIONED IT.

I bet I can guess who this winged creature is.<3
MMF.

:D gawjuss.

Oh God that comment was WAY too long. D:

Oh God that comment was WAY too long. D:

IS THIS A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST SPIN-OFF? I GET THE FEELING IT IS, WHICH IS OKAY BECAUSE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IS THE SOLE REASON FOR MY EXISTENCE. AND IF IT'S NOT I'LL PRETEND IT IS BECAUSE THE SIMILARITIES UNCANNY AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

Now onto the actual story, lol.

Ugh, just the first paragraph gave me chills! I could picture it perfectly. So eerie.

That mansion. It gave me the friggin' creeps. If sketchy taxi driver guy doesn't like it, neither do I. Cabbies are always right (Detroit motto right there!). Plus the spooky forest and then the town in the distance...ugh. Just ugh. The descriptions gave me the heeby jeebies. Well done.

PLUS THE DUDE. HE WAS SO FREAKY TO ME. I mean, he seemed nice enough but ugh when he gave Christian the smile and shit and all that "Don't go into the room at the end of the hall" mumbo jumbo I was like hold up bro, hold up hold up hold UP. This is NOT cool. HOLD. THE. FUCK. UP.

And oh my God. This bro is mute. HE'S MUTE. HOW MESSED UP IS THAT.

AND THE THING FALLING FROM THE SKY, HOLY CHRIST. I NEARLY SHAT. IT'S AN ANGEL OF COURSE BUT WHY AND THE TREES RUSTLING WITHOUT WIND, THAT TERRIFIED ME, OH MY GOD. I HAD TO GO OVER AND TURN THE LIGHTS ON I GOT SO FREAKED OUT MAN

If you can't tell, I don't do well with suspense, lol. Like my relationship with suspense and the supernatural is really unwell.

I am so scared right now, you don't even know. God am I freaked. But this story is awesome. Just the first chapter and there's already so much action and so much revealed, yet it doesn't feel like you're moving too fast, which is good. You give good descriptions but don't seem to have to go into extensive detail, which is also awesome. You describe things in a simple yet sophisticated way that gets the point across really conveniently. Which I like. I don't know, I just really freaking like your style of writing. It's perfect.

Only typo I caught was the first paragraph of dialogue where the dude opens the door. It says "stared down at my" instead of "me."

Even though this story scares the ever living poop out of me, I'm glad I subbed and will definitely continue reading. :) This is so unique. And even though I have zero clue on who Jared Leto is, this is bitchin' so I can't not read. Bangin' story, bro!

My only complant would be the font, the words are little closely-spaced.
But not a big deal.
Your descriptions were awesome.
The story had an interesting, almost eerie feel.
Layout adding too that and all.
Overall, I liked it alot and will definitely read more.

"I disregarded the look and turned to the mansion, eyeing it slowly."- Love it.

Don't go to the room at the end of this hallway. It's absolutely off limits, and you should never go in there for any reason. Do you understand?"- Reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. Don't go to the West Wing. Or something like that xDD

It kind of reminds me of a Jane Eyre-esque story. The idea of her going into his home to do his housework and such :) It's really good :) I'm going to definitely subscribe :D

Ooh, I think I'm going to like this a lot :) Can't wait to read what will happen next.