East Avenue - Comments

Wow! You did a really nice job on this story. The plot is well thought of and your characters are pretty decent. None of them are Mary or Gary Sues! Bravo! A few mistakes but you can fix that! this is a great story keep it up

Garrett is so interesting. The way he sees the world and is so obsessed with perfection in everything. It really draws me in. I also love that your chapters are so short and to the point...they sum up Garrett to perfection, I think. They make his character seem more real.I love it!

This is really interesting. Is Garrett autistic or something? I like how minimalistic this is. Margaret is so mean, and I feel bad for Joey, especially when he had his hand palm-up when they were watching the movie. I didn't notice any mistakes, which is awesome. Great job! :)

I've enjoyed your story so far, I like the size of the chapters, they make it quite short to the point. Your layout is simple yet effective, I can't really see any grammatical errors or punctuational. I'm probably making more mistakes in this comment to be honest. I'm going to recommend this story and I hope you keep writing!

You got me to chapter seven of this story, for comment swap, it's a bloody miracle. I usually get bored or annoyed by a lack of talent.

For better or for worse, this story reminds me immensely of American Psycho. It's an interesting minimalistic approach that works well, however it also feels very self serving in a lot of ways. It's difficult to develop characters in the first person narrative, and although there are some good attempts, I think it's something you should play with more. (Even if that was the style you were going for it felt lonely reading about a character who kind of bothered me on a deep level. But that's just my personal bias.)

I enjoy your writing and hope you haven't given up on this yet--it's very striking in it's simplicity and I have struggled with doing that for years. I wish you the best, and hope you keep writing.

comment swap brought me here, but I'm really glad it did, your story is great, I really like how you have built up the main character, I feel like a really understand who he is, I can't wait to see where you go with this story!

(Comment Swap) I find no summary, which feels bad.
Chapter 1 is missing paragraphs?
(Chapter 4)
Pointingout who is speaking would be nice?
' this? I finished ' is ' this?" I finished ' ?
Missed poining out, when the speach finished? or it's part of the speach, it's very confusing.
A short and easy read. the entire narrative is mising.
I need to know who is who, to put a face to the character, or it's just a set of comments, but no real discussion.
Even if this chapter is short, like the toher chapters.
Something is really amiss here, maybe the spirit of what you try to convey, is the expression here.
This doesn't draw me in, but leave me empty, pondering why I'm reading.
Pondering why it is posted.

*from comment swap*
I really like your writing style, and I like how you've developed your main character, Garrett. I like how Joey is so cute with him, and their whole relationship is just adorable. I really hope you keep going with this :)

You're an amazing writer. Really. Like, I wish I was one eighth as good as you. Darn.

eragh fuck i never received the little email things about this story which is why i didn't comment and i TOTALLY would have otherwise c: i don't really know what to say other than that i've always wanted to watch a documentary or at least more but busy busy busy ....anyways....i never know what to comment because i figure i'll just sound stupid so forgive me while i ramble about how fabulous you are..

I can see a lot of myself in Garrett and don't knock documentaries on the Romans ;-)

god this made staying up until the wee hours of dawn worth it and they're so cute and garret finding nothing imperfect about joey is really interesting and interesting is so the wrong word but i can't think of the right one at this moment and i'd cringe if i used cute again c: aslgjrgjriPERFECt

i never know what to comment because if i actually commented what was on my mind it'd be ajnfeueakngperfectandwfiegeuwonderFUL

i really like margaret's little character bio and the two chapter updates were amazing and they're so frequent so you know, that's greeeaaat :-) and i feel like i should read cat's cradle now

I like it, and I can't wait for interstate either

soso excited (btw i love kurt vonnegut. i'm reading breakfast of champions and i read this book which was a bunch of interviews with him compiled into one) holla

I really like this! Your writing style is very intriguing! I can't wait to read more :)