You're a very good writer, I enjoyed your style and I found no spelling or grammar mistakes, which is great. I was kind of confused about Isabella's miscarriage though. Was it a rough pregnancy beforehand? That would make more sense because you probably wouldn't lose a healthy baby just from being told that your husband cheated - that I know of. Anyway, that might be explained more later, but I was just a little confused. Good story though, keep up the good work and enjoy the writing! :)
This story is developing beautifully and I'm so happy that they are trying to work everything out! I loved the idea of making Brian jealous with John Cena (seeing as he's one of my favorite people). I'm also wondering what type of drama Michelle's going to cause or even if she will. Either way I've really enjoyed this storyy!!!
So, as the person who commented before me did, I got this off of the Comment Swap thread. I've only read the first chapter so far, but for the most part, I like it. It could use a little bit more action though, and description. Some of it so far is a bit choppy. Like, you could use the way that they act and the things they do to help the writing tell the story and their emotions better. Like, instead of saying something like:
'"I hate you," she said. "I hate you too," he replied.'
It could be more like:
"I hate you," she said, her voice dripping with venom, the anger and hatred hardly concealing her pain.
"I hate you too," he replied, glaring fiercely, snarling the words at her and then turning away.
I'm interested though, so far, even though I'm not a fan of the whole band-member-made-up-character thing. *le shrug* But so far the plot seems creative. I'll just have to read on and see how it goes though. :)
woah. okay, so. i got this off the comment swap thread and just...
i read the first chapter and it's kind of depressing. not in a bad way at all, but a miscarriage? that sucks so bad. i really like isabella so far and i'm going to read the other chapters to see what's actually going on.. keep it up.